random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Brap God]

no im never going to stop being a faggot

 

[Nothing Is Written]

ferret kill count spreadsheet from user @my penis is on fire

 

[Tablet County]

What are you even saying? Is the Protogen fuck bot supposed to protect him or some shit???

 

[Meat Target]

Jews put bitterant in the antifreeze so it's not tasty anymore.

 

[The best and greatest]

This man lusts after a tag along coke whore neglectful mother who shoves whisky bottles up her ass

 

[Speedrunner]

free speech is censored at kiwifarms and its all so disappointing...

 

[Gentlebastard]

It's called divine right or in secular terms: "I will do what I want, what are these weak faggots going to do about it, oh right, they can't do shit."

A couple of times he tweeted really disgusting fur porn and I was just like "I can't be looking at this, my immortal soul is in danger".

Greee would be the first man to have an AI commit sudoku to get away from him.

Ya know sometimes I start typing and have no fucking idea where the hell I am going or where this shit is coming from

"Electric dildo"?? He seriously didn't know the name for it was "vibrator"? I thought he was the whoremaster! You can't be the whore master if you don't know what a vibrator is!

he found the one true trick that all deadbeat fathers would love to know. How to legally rid yourself of all responsibility of your child(ren). Probably his greatest achievement considering how rare it is (especially under his known circumstances).

They'll scan his brain and be shocked when the MRI displays what the Doctors will describe as "shredded fucking brisket."

the man is spiritually whiter than an all vanilla banana split with nothing but whipped cream

I....think he was trying to make a badass sounding threat here but it sounded more like a fat homosexual offering to share his sex toy and egging him on to see how far he can get it up his shitfunnel

Why would he admit to have erectile dysfunction?

 

[Dr. Butt]

That's the face of someone who just caught his girlfriend fucking his dad.

 

[KosherFarms.net]

His current content is filming himself screaming in pain as he pours hydrogen peroxide into his meth sores:

 

[Law]

i LITERALLY CANNOT post in a SINGLE FUCKING THREAD I ACTUALLY ENJOY. like every goddamn time i TRY to engage like a normal fucking human being who just wants to talk or argue or whatever, out of nowhere some BAN HAPPY MOD WITH A MASSIVE FUCKING SUPERIORITY COMPLEX just swoops in and BANS ME FOR ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD FUCKING REASON WHATSOEVER.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

looks like a grotesque ballsack band missing its lead singer in the front

 

[Speedrunner]

Somehow his dog looks just as retarded as he does. Absolute retardation behind those eyes.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

My reading comprehension is fine. You're just an idiot.

 

[CaddestSlown]

Nigger I will crush your head so hard between my thighs that you will cum in hell

 

[Dr. Butt]

I'm not sure I'm not a necromancer but I've heard stuff.

 

[Statix_Shark]

It's almost like he's wildly retarded or something.

But we're at page 85 thanks to a fucking piss towel.

 

[Tablet County]

Mold is just the chud's version of Lyme disease.

 

[Aunt Carol]

100,000 copies of the same person, too smart to be happy and too stupid to do anything about it.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I got a job as a Java programmer with zero credentials and zero skills, simply on the strength of my explanation why my cubic zirconium ring is objectively better than a diamond. It helped that the CEO had jewelers' lights installed in the ceiling and it blazed like a billion suns when I showed it off.

 

[Spectate]

So all of a sudden we're not allowed to threaten to have people killed by cartels? This place is getting worse than Something Awful with the random senseless bannings.