random_text.txt

[Meat Target]

Even Allah didn’t read all that shit before rating it islamic.

 

[Larry Potterfield]

There's a man who leads a life of danger
To everyone he meets he stays a stranger
With every move he makes
Another chance he takes
Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow

Secret Asian Man
Secret Asian Man
They've given you a number and taken away your dance partner

"Footroose, Footroose, shoot off those dance floor shoes."

 

[Meat Target]

I keep hoping to read that he got eaten by alligators while taking a shit in a portapotty, but life isn't fair.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/gavin...productions-inc-houston.142779/#post-14104951

A deformed autistic man in a wheelchair will animate Luna Loud from The Loud House giving birth to totally own those jooz!

 

[Gentlebastard]

HAHAHAHA NIGGAS STILL SCARED OF RESTAURANTS??? LMAO

Poor @Null got called a word salad

View attachment 4319926

https://old.reddit.com/r/modhelp/comments/10jbreu/reddit_rules_on_kiwifarms/ (Archive)

"The owner/operator is an Ideologically Motivated Violent Extremist and Racially or Ethnically Motivated Violent Extremist. The users are as well. Counter & prevent the use of the site to harm others."

They had a choice: Burrito Nights, or burn the bodies of the dead alpacas. Look at the size of Kevryn and you'll see the choice they made.

 

[Vott]

 

[Table Country]

WOW, THAT WAS AN AWFUL SHIT OF A POST, WASN'T IT?

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Go masturbate to car crashes and get out of my sight.

Hosting Christmas isn’t like going to a ball game or posting on kiwi farms, you can’t just be naked the whole time.

The best part here is that there's apparently an acceptable level of meth.

Thinking back to a time before modern medicine, we will never know how many humans died due to getting stuff stuck in their butts. What we do know is it was far more than one.

But would a man not reach into my anus and remove the plug of protection, if really he was so determined to engage in molestation?

I am sorry sir but the court has ruled that you are legally not allowed to have a penis. We must now set up a date to have penis amputate.

If you kids do not shut up right now I am driving us off this cliff!
"Do it faggot"
Oh really???

I can't personally endorse shoving hard narcotics up one's asshole

My parents spanked me and I grew up to be a fine Kiwi Farms shitposter, what's the problem?

Sometimes you just gotta ask yourself, what would Jesus do? Would Jesus get a sex change operation surgery?

"I mutilated my genitals and it hurts"

Bestiality is a hanging offence in civilized cultures, and I'm sure Gardevoir doesn't want your dick anyway

As a straight person, I exercise by picking up heavy things and then putting them down. Please, tell me how preferring cock would change this process.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Holy fuck these women love piss. Someone should crosspost FTM posts like this to a piss fetish sub.

Do you watch donut porn?

What happens to a phallo deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

I have loved this thread and all of the sperging that’s happened in it. I have learned about farming, animal husbandry, the Migratory Bird Act, troonism, etc. and it truly is my favorite thread on this website.

Nice euphemism for oral sex I guess?

Penny walks up to an easily manipulated school kid in a trenchcoat, then says "hey kid, wanna buy a paca?", and flings open his trench coat to reveal 5 alpacas tethered to the inside of it (they're starved so they fit inside).

As a firm believer in the Simulation theory, I’m pretty sure the horror you’re describing would just break the simulation, and we’d all wake up inside whatever pods were stored in, Matrix style.

The troons live but the poor animals die. It's not fair.

I watch the Chieftain’s Hatch because tank engineering is fascinating.

Then I’ll look at Nick Moran and remember that damn this guy has definitely killed people.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

CANT WAIT TO MOVE TO MIXTRISS GRANDMAS TO FUCK IN A BED OLDER THAN ME

This will end in fire.
And it will be glorious.

Ah yes, Stoklasa's Razor: When attempting to determine the reasoning behind a truly baffling decision the dumbest answer is usually the most correct one.

Do you watch donut porn?

Don't like how we do things here, bitch? Pay attention, now, numbnuts. WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK. DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T FUCKING COME HERE. YOU SHALL NOT BE MISSED. EAT ME.

Look, I'll defend European public transport with Reddit-like zeal in almost any other scenario, but the unwarranted sense of superiority oozing through the ramblings of this whiny bitch makes me wish I still had a car so I could drive really short, unnecessary distances just to spite her like I did with my bike supremacist friends in better days.

 

[DoomSayer]

I have a fucking good haircut

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

I'm tired of fucking ultimatums from Trannies. My rights, fun , freedom and opinions don't end where your faggotry begins.

 

[Stabmaster Arson II]

Dated a 22year old womanlet that looked half her age for about a year. (She initiated).

Pros.

• Helped me see the world from a different perspective.
• She actively avoided doing anything immature.
• Proactive, she had to push past people's first impression.

Cons

• We could only kiss if she stood on something
• Insecurity about not being like other girls.
• Wearing high-heels to places that really didn't suit them.
• Sex was hard and I could never relax for fear of hurting her.
• Men, including myself are hardwired not to find immature bodies sexy.
• I felt secretly bad about depriving a hypothetical manlet of a girl who wouldn't overlook him.

I do not regret our time together. We ended up breaking up over communication styles not over height. Though my next GF happened to be 6' tall, which ended up being more suitable.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

It does rape. Lots and lots of rape.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Create the Hitler Youth to own the fascists

All these other children should die because I feel I was wronged, but no I won't off myself because reasons.

 

[Gog & Magog]

My main problem with them is that they exist. Everyone knows what a furry is nowadays and they have corrupted and worsened the overall online experience.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I heard they hired a leprechaun to watch the rapes.

 

[ASeabear8952]

Didn’t think I’d see myself scratching “watching Kiwis arguing about Jews and Nazis on a thread about an AGP” off my bingo card.

 

[IamnottheNSA]

View attachment 4295120

I WANT A TRANS GF TO HANG OUT AND PLAY VIDEOGAMES AND WATCH KINO AND CUDDLE SO FUCKING BAD GODDAMMIT FUCK THIS LIFE AND FUCKL JANNIES FDUCK IM MAD

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Disney World. Disneyland doesn't have Whataburger.