random_text.txt

Short update: We now have a clear suspect in the case of the mystery shitter responsible for the diarrheageddon in the ladies' toilet. The most likely culprit seems to be the female janitor. She will be fired anyway, since she doesn't actually clean anything. She usually empties trash cans by putting their contents in another trash can.
What in the blood-soaked heavy metal Christ did I just read.
My dad worked at a bank next door to a retirement community. I'm pretty sure they had pee/poo procedures in place ready to mobilize. I know they had "whoops he's dead" plans that got exercised pretty often.
I really liked it because the manager (the owner of the store) was a giant asshole who didn't care because his autistic skill at qualifying for every possible computer cert available had basically given him a monopoly on all these things, even though all he actually did at work was constantly try to score with chicks online which he did with remarkable success despite being a fat, socially inept, brazenly Jewish smelly guy who was like a Jewish version of Carl. I remember his face and you could fucking put this in one of those "This ugly fucking bastard is getting laid all the time" ads. He looked and acted like Watto. Don't get me wrong. I like the guy.
 
HAVING A FIELD DAY, CAT PARTY?!

You will never be a real wolf. You have no fur, you have no heightened senses, you have no survival instincts, you have no sense of social cues. You are a soulless sex-pest degenerate twisted by autism, anime, narcissism, and furfaggotry into a crude mockery of nature's perfection.

When Americans start identifying as fucking leafs it is time to start the internment camps.
 
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