random_text.txt

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

is an American really making food horrific enough to put the brits to shame? is this finally a win for the bongs?

August Levasseur spent 3 hours in the shower because the shampoo bottle instructions said:
1. Rinse
2. Lather
3. Repeat

However most of that time was spent using the bottle to stimulate his prostate.

Some men are simple and wish to march in lines and crack skulls.

Picking up speed, runnin' out of time
Goin' head to head
It's the way of life
We gotta fall down and meet ground
To get back up again
Let's Beyblade!
Spinning it out at the speed of sound
Gonna rip it up
Now the bet is down
We're the team with a bang, our gang is the one that's gonna win! Let's Beyblade!
Beyblade!

He’s also an Iraq vet iirc. If you’re gonna feel white guilt over something at least feel it for destabilizing a secular middle eastern country and helping kill innocent people for Israel. You were actually involved in that.

It'd be like the other kid in Sophie's Choice, but the choices are probably death and slow, lingering death, but with old people.

Sorry but if you are cursed with such a voice, get on the cigars, whisky and hire Tom Waits to give you elocution lessons.

I know she had kids but still get on a treadmill you fat bitch.

*No, I'm not autistic nor optimistic enough to believe that they ever will learn one damned thing. About anything.

'The death of one alpaca is a tragedy. The death of a million is a statistic.'

These trannies' real, actual lives are like bizarre nightmares I've had.

"Why the hell was I leading an alpaca trail of tears to my parents' house? What the fuck, brain?"

In my defense, I am retarded.

 

[vomitusdeux]

Some women have rods, bigot.

You're larping as someone name 'Jewthulhu' on a New Zealand agricultural webforum devoted to stalking mentally ill individuals.

How long till they're burning Penny's parents.

That Josh Moon and those Kiwis are pedophiles who stalk and harrass trans people! Anyways, here's a monkey with its hands tied to a pallet being beaten to death.

Wanting to piss on baby monkeys isn't sexual it is just pissing on a monkey.

Why do you want to make it sexual?

God bless you for noticing that transphobic goat.

Black people hate M&M's because they green M&M is no longer hot

I do myself not condone killing baby monkeys or black people

Amber, no one wants to see you shake your six bacons. Stop it.

She shouldn't adopt (or dear god have) ANY babies, not even a black one.

Yeah. It's that bad.

Funny, the only people I can think of who are absolutely gleeful when a tranny gets murdered are other trannies.

I just don't get why people can't accept you can't walk around with your snootch hanging out your clothes.

You didn't share any links previous to your Facebook spergout, nor did you contribute anything besides defending pissing on baby monkeys.

Boys can play with dolls without a morbidly obese middle aged pervert trying to cut their dicks off.

I hope it butts that freak in the amhole causing it to explode in blood and gore.

I can't wait for Penis to ruin his parent's land and house.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Nature has corrected itself from the miraculous fluke of your reproduction with your son removing himself from the gene pool.

 

[Agarathium1066]

Which is funny because everything Jim does is a Macro Trans Action. Because he's fat and gross.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I've known a couple women who competently take care of alpacas. They're both batshit crazy but the alpacas are fine.

I wish we had a sadness sticker.

Goats sound like faggots. Who the fuck shits in the food bin?

The thread started funny, became horrifying, and is now depressing. And soon, it'll backtrack into horror again.

The Ukrainians are creeped the fuck out by Harrel because after every engagement he goes to every soldier, or as he calls them "meat targets", he shot and collects the projectiles to show his comrades the difference in expansion between 55 gr Remington Green & White box 5.56 and 5.45. They also stopped bringing him along for ambushes because the Russians were starting to notice the chronographs set up 7 yards from his position.

Which has preferrable terminal ballistics? You be the judge, cyka.

I hope season 3 is a camel farm, because those monsters will get the trannies first.

I disagree with you vehemently but I want to see this happen anyway because it would be fucking hilarious.

 

[Star Platinum]

ladies and gentlemen, we got him
View attachment 4523001

"have you tried contacting the cyber police at all? they're usually pretty helpful"
"Do you have a number for them"

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

How can a bunch of eunuchs hold a sex ritual? Do they marvel at the untamed virility of a male Alpaca as it prolapses a hapless female?

The apocalypse is not disability friendly

 

[Meat Target]

Gotta get some nuggies and fries after mass murdering.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Please chime in with some animal husbandry speculation or hush up

In a world where PETA still gets donations, a handful of troons pretending to be a charity and killing/abandoning a few hundred alpaca will lead to nothing.

But man, I wish it would.

Well if you ever get fed up and feel like ruining Christmas you have the knowledge of what to say.

He's actually more concerned with how embarrassing it is to be on death's door in front of the haters than the fact he literally could be dying.

It was the fuck around of times, it was the find out of times.

Right to the mass grave

I just imagined getting stabbed in a dark alley and some random fortnite kid putting an L on his forehead and start doing that retard dance

Today Kiwifarms learns why even eco-terrorists like Uncle Ted hated leftists.

I have no words for this. It's just that retarded. I don't have any comebacks my God are these people pathetic.

In a sane world she would have just been spammed with pictures of roast beef

These people lie about everything. It'd be like asking Dahmer what happened to the people who were seen visiting his granmother's house.

They picked the footage they did because they're actually crafting a densely symbolist narrative. The alpaca represent Penny's hopes and ďreams while the rambunctious goat that keeps trying to gore them is a metaphor for reality.

Just defecating without dying is probably above their current skill level. Jesus.

Wow... look at that subtle autism attack, the tasteful cringe of it. Oh my god, it even has hysterics...

In the OG sauce it was the not one, but TWO types of corn syrup!

You wanna ask a group of mentally ill armed sideshow country carnies what happened to their animals???

He's endured so many widowmaker events and yet lived to stuff his face with Arby's another day. He truly is like Keith Richards in that he really should be dead but isn't yet.

"They are cringe; brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse. Rip and spit, until it is done.”

Why do they think those parts fit together? Do they think humans reproduce like fish?

It’s actually just an escape hatch from a conversation where you have to explain your values and beliefs, but you can’t because your beliefs are just memes and snappy one line hot takes from Twitter

It's ok, AFAIK no tranny lolcow has ever done anything horrible to their elderly mother. Nope, definitely not a thing that has ever happened. Everything is going to be fine!

F in the chat for Pepe the rape Vicuna.

Can you imagine a man calling his penis a sacred God stick and insisting it wasn't just for reproduction? Of course not, that would be silly and everyone would rightfully make fun of this person.

NGL living in the middle of nowhere and my only job being scanning mails and emailing the PDF every day sounds cool but being haunted by the ghosts of 100,000,000,000,000 dead alpacas is sort of where I draw the line. It would be like The Shining, yes I'm living for free and doing a very, very easy job but at what cost?

 

[bliblblblbbllb]

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/emily...ertreemuffin-daddy_sonic.150209/post-14870029

I got fucked by sonic. The voice was used.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

But did Ryan Drummond say: "Aw, yeah, this is happenin'!" when he fucked her? Nobody is asking the real questions here.

He came in under 5 seconds and just said "gotta blow fast".

 

[Humbert Humbert]

Some of these have undoubtedly been posted but idc, i’m sharing the quotes I collected

your fat ass prolly could have sat on him and committed murder.

The proof is in the teeth tartar.

it can't wait until morning, i need to trigger this retard NOW NOW NOW NOW"

Honestly it's like Harry Potter rising from a crucifixion at Allah's tea party with the Dalai Lama dropping his hand into Vishnu's laundry basket.

Let every cell on our retarded bodies buzz.

Love equals Null.

WHAT A SHIT WEBSITE

ILL SHOW YOU HORRIFIC MOTHERFUCKER

Do you think my "HOES MAD" reply to some troons was gender affirming?

Cut my dick into pieces
This is my last resort

TRANNYS MAD, TRANNYS MAD OVER WIZARD GAME! GAME! GAME!

Please delete account
Mistakes were made and I long
For the cold abyss

Since this is the Kevin thread, please enjoy this clip of Kevin whining about the animals being impatient for food, and then Kevin shoving a goat.

J.K. Rowling didn't make me hate trannies. Trannies did that.

Shiloh is too fat to be a Twink, she needs to hit the treadmill instead of her family dog.

"The real treasure was the alpacas we met allowed to die, and then buried in a shallow grave, along the way."

I just imagined getting stabbed in a dark alley and some random fortnite kid putting an L on his forehead and start doing that retard dance

I have dilation blood on my hands.

Can we build it?

YES WE CAN!

And best for last:

Call me George Floyd, cus I can't fucking breath!

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

When I heard "Sonic celebrity sex scandal," I was surprised to find out she was both adult and human.

 

[Local Fed]

The theme today is N

You are not worthy of my wall of unhinged text yet, you have to earn it.

I give Josh five minutes before he starts trying to use the killing curse on all the black kids.

Don't ask questions; just repent for racist thing and then get excited to repent for the next racist thing.

sorry black kiwi farms users

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I don’t need to have sex. I’m a Kiwi Farms A&H regular.

 

[Haffhart]

In my own experience, gays are the worst.

As much as I think physiognomy was unfairly yeeted from the sciences...

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

But the point is if they militarize the rednecks, yokels and hillbillies they are going to turn around and go straight for DC, and who is gonna stop them? the social case workers?

Becky (they/them): "General Buck Duke you can't walk around congress in your overalls while smoking meth!"
Buck Duke, Chief of Staff: "THERE A SNAKE IN MY BOOT!"
*BLAM*
Becky (they/them): [brains splattered over a portrait of president Ru Paul]

 

[Happy Fish]

The Marie Antoinette of sex, everyone.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Everyone in this thread is fucking sick (and so am I).

you complete degenerates honored comrades.

No longer will Kiwi's lament about a lack of a commune to be trapped in. We too shall have our own hill-cult that gets really twitchy with strangers.

What do you even call this kind of faggot, since furries are mammal fuckers? A scaly? Either way he can yiff in hell with the rest of them.

This is all from some Discord screencaps so could be fake and gay, but if true it's definitely gay to fuck lizards.

The Ash Ketchum of the gun world, willing to travel anywhere or talk with anyone if it means documenting all of gun history.

I think you might be reading the Al-Azif a little too much. Perhaps try a little Harry Potter?

Maybe he would get captured early and entertain the Russians by showing them neat tricks, but then he accidentally kills them and has to wander back to civilization like the Finnish meth soldier.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I think I've been ninja'd on most of I was going to post. This weekend had some gems. I welcome your fake and gay and late ratings.

What does feeling like a woman in bed mean because Imma tell you it's usually not buttsex

It's because there's no cure for being a cunt.

There was a murder in the tarp barn, a murder in the tarp barn

The fence is falling over and the sheep are lying down
The drones are flying over, you can hear the fascists’ hounds

The watchman said to Penny the troon
Was it Fat Paul Mendoza, was it Blind Kindness too?

Pin it on a fieldhand, then burn another bridge
And don’t you fucking touch the jug of koolaid in the fridge

There was a murder in the tarp barn, murder in the tarp barn…

The trail of terfs. This event is going to shape alpaca culture for generations.

The only animal husbandry these people do is when they get caught at it.

Many of our grandfathers or great-grandfathers raised hundreds of animals in addition to working day jobs, they had to. I bring this up because although troons will Never Be a Woman, they're far from being men.

Whatever JK Rowling and Earl have done, I seriously doubt they have killed a single alpaca.

So does anyone have a final body count for all the animals that had to die for trans rights?

I can't stress enough that the Mighty Megalosaurus' full name is Earl. Sneed. Sinclair.

My kid self wouldn't mind a few people getting clapped if it means I get a day off school.

How hard is it to play dating sims and cuddle a discolored body pillow like a normal lonely person?

Never have a family, you POS, and find Jesus.