random_text.txt

[Gentlebastard]

A man who shaves his head is simply aging with dignity. Men get bald, and it's more dignified for a man to admit he got old and bald and shave his head than do a shitty gay combover and pretend the male prostitutes fucking him in the ass do it for free.

He just needs to piss napalm now.

"I don't need to enlist to fight in World War 3, stalker. Thanks to my many STDs, my piss is now weapons-grade napalm, and Ukraine uses it to burn the Russians. I'm already doing my part. Now hush and do yours, child."

cool pics of orangutans (the best primates)

I like that his internet persona is "complete asshole".

99% of "asexuals" are attention whores.

It has been a re-occuring nightmare of mine going to one of these spice stands and sneezing very loudly, making it disperse everywhere into peoples eyes and they all start screaming in agony.

So they finally got Alexis Texas into fucking niggers uh

Wait, for real?

Damn, the west really has fallen.

I wish, just once, it was the fault of the gross pervert being a gross pervert.

We all know it always is, but they never admit it.

Coomers will hold it up as a new standard for American race relations for years to come.

Pfft I'm not sure that even counts as a horde. Get back me when you can't see any of the stuff on the floor under all the stuff on top of it.

Are you posting from the 16th Century using a built in phone in your DeLorean?

I talk to Leftists all the time even when I think they have retarded ideas

how do we live in a world where people no longer understand the concept of homosexuality?

>blacks being literal slaves is the same as me not getting to put my """shenis""" into anyone I want without them being able to stop me

Is this peak troon? Please tell me we're at peak troon.

Things can always get worse.

I have heard many excuses for why someone is autistic but never "titanium deficiency".

 

[DOORSTUCK]

 

[Tablet County]

Its like watching a Tarantino movie starting an hour in with no context. I don't know what the fuck is going on and why everyone is screaming for no reason.

He wasn't a dime a dozen, he was a nickel-a Tesla.

If women are so awful then why do their vaginas feel so good?

She is a gateway drug to the world of the Cuddly Octopi Master Race.

As a racial slur and negative racial stereotype enjoyer

 

[102]

"@stealthytoilet Lolcows do not exist, stalker. Only your sociopathy exists. Enjoy prison."

Oh yeah, and this all-timer too:

 

[Tablet County]

Oh yeah, and this all-timer too:
View attachment 5473112

This kind of reads like the "you will never be a real woman" copypasta.

 

[Skitarii]

Me and my sisterwife have been going strong for five years now, and we're expecting our third child in December

 

[102]

This kind of reads like the "you will never be a real woman" copypasta.

You will never be a real toilet, stalker. Enjoy prison.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

Damn right. We all know how to eat pussy, it’s not rocket science.

Yes a homophobic dog is definitely a thing,” said a third Redditor, who was convinced. “My neighbour once had to get rid of his Golden Retriever due to its bigoted behaviour.”

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

To answer the original redditor, it isn't that he's ashamed that you're gay, he's ashamed that you're somebody's bitch.

 

[Angry New Ager]

The pic is a lie, she's not a princess being tempted by fabulous desserts, she's sheetcaking in front of her dog.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

An inordinate amount of my cognitive energy is consumed by an anti-fedposting filter.

 

[Tablet County]

Watching John with the machine, it was suddenly so clear. The Fuckinator would never stop. It would never leave him. It would never hurt him, never shout at him, or get drunk and hit on his best friend, or say it was too busy to spend time with him. It would always be there. And it would die to please him. Of all the would-be girlfriends who came and went over the years, this thing, this machine, was the only one who measured up. In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.

imagine being so horrible a sexless pattern recognition program is more appealing than you

My dog has literally shaken in my presence before (he's afraid of thunderstorms). I just cuddle him closer and pet him till he calms down.

go on pilgrimage to auschwitz and pray to the spirit of heinrich himmler while repeatedly chanting "six million more.... six million more..." until you get arrested

 

[Useful_Mistake]

"Listen, just because our governments are behaving like asses doesn't mean we have to."

youre always squinting, and it makes me wonder what youre up to

Wuhan Gang represent

Quite the contrary, I love China

Fucking barbarian midgets with Napoleon complexes

I just hate people who look different from me.

Sell cheap plastic shit on Amazon

Move to Palestine.

If they got your foreskin your fate is sealed.

Easy. Just stop believing in pajeet shit like reincarnation. Now you don't have to worry about being reincarnated as a Jew, since you're unable to be reincarated in the first place.

Josh is right, NOT eating your house pets is a sign of civilized white person.

You can't reincarnate into a being that is inherently soulless

Whats the deal with all the unfunny faggots today?

You lose because your a faggot so you lose by default

nö nüt növëmbër?

The musslim s are faggot lib tards that wax and wain on rhetorical tricks of language.

 

[Meat Target]

I draw the line here: The Keffals Fart Porn stays up.

 

[Gentlebastard]

"Why won't the people I shit on work with me anymore?"

God damnit Pooner, that's the most feminine school shooter manifesto I've seen

Nothing like a critical punch of despair to the gut to end your day. I joke to myself that we're all just pieces of a ruling power's chessboard and that true freedom is mostly theoretical but hey it's not that bad, right? Yes, it isn't that bad. It's worse.

Canada is the world's second choice. It's the place you go to when you can't find a way to get an American green card. It's literally the Pepsi of countries

My wife works with a Ukrainian refugee. Apparently, her and her husband regret leaving their wartorn shithole because life in Canada is actually worse than in living in a country that is actively being invaded.

He'd weep tears of joy in betweeen his hentai cooming sessions.

>as a non-jew
Sounds like a pretty Jewish thing to say.

In a show that has 2+ commentators per segment and thousands of segments, you will inevitably get a few uninformed or shit takes. Just like Null saying a bunch of sensible things on MATI but having a spergout about cheese one day.

Oh no! I'm gunna get hate crimed!

[cheap catholic joke omitted for clarity]

You were abandoning a boundary between degeneracy and health and you chose degeneracy.

Reminds me of Cassandra Peterson seeing what she thought was a whale on the beach only for it to be Divine sunbathing.

From Dear Feeder, on the Telegram channel:

This includes the commercial for-profit tranny fart porn video by Keffals, called "Queen's Fart Throne".

and

Also, in particular with the thread about Keffals, that pornography is commercial and categorically cannot be considered revenge pornography. He sold tranny fart porn himself of his own volition. Please feel free to watch it and see for yourself.

Thanks,
Josh.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Can we make a movie called the Game of Farts in which everyone wants to fart on the queen's throne but a grey dragon who goes rapidly blind while yelling "I am a woman!" wants to burn it down?

 

[Croaking Spider]

Least delusional tranny. At least Pinocchio actually had wood.

 

[Ewan McGregor]

If I need to die in defense of the tranny fart porn, I'm ready to die in defense of the tranny fart porn.

 

[Moths]

"I draw the line here: The Keffals Fart Porn stays up."

 

[Kirk Van Houten]

imagine being some random arkansas dirtbag wannabe-rapper and some girl on FB is like "heyyyy" and you respond "sup mama" and she's like "imma give my baby yuor last name"