Things that I, Joshua "Null" Moon, would like to do but cannot

Just get the bike, I was scared shitless after I bought my first one but you get comfortable.
Nothing more based than giving the neighborhood children a wave and they lose their shit, it makes their day.

I aspire to annoy the neighborhood with TTS blasting grilling only the finest johnsonville hotdogs
 
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As a user of the Kiwi Farms, I can't even begin to emphasize how sad and owned I would feel if anyone, especially someone with a history of animosity towards Joshua Moon, videotaped himself doing these things and posted the resulting recordings on the Internet. Personally, I think it's because someone doing something so awesome would remind me that, as a known associate of broke-dick pedophile Joshua Moon, I also am a pedophile with an unbelievably broke dick. I thank my lucky stars every day that there isn't anyone Ralpha enough on the face of the Earth to accomplish all of the things on this list.
 
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You know. Josh "broke dick" Moon is too much of a pussy to admit that he really wants to go over Niagra Falls in a barrel. I mean, it's illegal these days, and Josh is a pussy who cares about laws, but everyone knows that real men in the 1920s proved their manhood by going over Niagra Falls in a barrel. Plus, Josh is too dumb to realize how many superchats he'd get from such a manly stunt. Sad.
 
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3322 said:
There is no way Ethan Ralph can afford to hire a plane and jump out of it, he is much too poor and his legs are too thin and frail and would snap upon impact.
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Dick probably could though. And then he'd "break his leg" "accidentally" kicking Ethan out of the plane, so he "unfortunately" couldn't follow after him.
 
ArmouredRobin said:
Josh is such a fucking fake man, you know. That coward moved AWAY from Odessa the other year while being chased by Interpol rather than staying and defending Ukraine like a real alpha male would! I've got the all respect in the world for people who fly out to a warzone and fight back against invaders. Only a true alpha would get in shape, improve his life for the better and then go to war!
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Holy shit, who did Jewsh kill that he's chased by Interpol?
Why doesn't Jewsh go to Brazil and marry some Brazilian hoe then? Brazil is basically a safe haven for people on the run from the law from abroad and who are its citizens. Jewlian Assange should've just found himself some hoe in Brazil!
 
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Nonconsentual Pronouns said:
And I bet you could never crack the seal off of a bottle of The Last Dab and drink the whole bottle live on stream, could you? Yeah, I didn't think so. It's scientifically proven that eating the spiciest foods available is the manliest activity that impresses all the bitches and dabs on all the haydurs.
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If Chaggot can take a blast of pepper spray to the face why can't that pussy ass bitchboy Ralph? Ol' oramge cat has shrugged off bear mace like it was a supersoaker but the Ralpha Male can't take a little bit of content spray for some superchat money? I bet even if he did it he wouldn't make any money because no one watches his gay streams.
 
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Stoneheart said:
look at him! how can the innocence in his eyes not make you wanna help him?
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Null oops.png
 
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I think that it would be a pretty baller move to start a long-running beef with gangland affiliates of Suge Knight.

Then again, that's more of a Vegas high roller play. It's the kind of gamble that might be successfully pulled off by someone who looks down on the green felt of the dollar blackjack tables from the cabin of their private jet, and remarks to the stewardess who is bouncing up and down on their lap, that the people down there all look like ants. It's not really a play that somebody from West Memphis would be able to make. In fact, I would advise anyone from West Memphis who was considering starting a long-running beef with gangland affiliates of Suge Knight to stay in their lane and keep their eyes off their mobile phone. Learn to play within your limitations.

Hypothetically though, if someone from West Memphis did manage to start a long-running beef with gangland affiliates of Suge Knight. And if, as a consequence of their actions, they were shived by a gangbanger called 'Pandabear' in some kind of octagonal liminal space, such as a municipal park or a prison exercise yard, I expect that individual would be proud to have died under such circumstance, as it would mean that they had lived up until that point. I would also expect that their mortician would have no problem applying a post-mortem 'No Regrets' tramp stamp to the body.
 
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