Containment What If?

Day 1

Aw yus. I'm mayor of CWCville now.

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Gonna roll up a big fat fatty, blaze that shit up, shit's gonna be BAWWLIIIIIIIN'!

Day 2

Heh, sure is a lot of debt that needs to be taken care of.

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Let's see what else is on the agenda... attend meeting with Molvanian ambassador, meet with environmental group to discuss the current state of the CWCville Orange Fanta river, romantic date at the Double CWC Hotel with ki-

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Day 3

God damn it, this city isn't making any money.

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Every cent we make goes to some fucking social program we don't even need, literally EVERYONE is on welfare, the defense budget is absurd, nobody's working,

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meanwhile, everyone wants my fucking head on a platter because I'm "not doing a good job" or "taking action on anything" despite the fact that NOBODY in this town is working, I JUST CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE!

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I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT. I'M SICK OF THIS BUMFUCK TOWN, I'M SICK OF THE DEADBEAT ASSHOLES THAT INHABIT IT, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE. EVERYBODY BETRAY ME. I FED UP WITH THIS WOARLD.

*grabs a gun*

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God... forgive me.
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Yeah, something like that.
 
If Chris tried to lose weight, any method that we could think would fail. He wouldn't eat some weight loss pill, the salads from fast food restaurants aren't that healthy even without the ranch dressing, he doesn't get much exercise, and he pretty much crashes into slumber after doing like five minutes of lifting two packs of canned cola.
 
This city basically works as a theme park displaying CWCs inane fantasies. So, the logical step would be to actually turn it into a real theme park with overpriced rides, overpriced beverages, overpriced congested toilets, overpriced restaurants, fat rednecks in wheelchairs who stuff themselves with turkey drumsticks and fried butter on a stick, DIRTY CRAPPED swimming pools - in short, everything needed for a fun wholesome family weekend.

The hedgehogs would work in the capacity of these guys at Disney World in cartoon character costumes - only they wouldn't need any costume, they already look like disfigured cartoon characters.

Heck, I might make some money from this.
 
I mean, why does this one city in the middle of Virginia use a different currency than all other parts of the US?
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Maybe it is North America after anarcho-capitalist revolution... The city is doubtlessly Chris' private property, inherited from his father.
 
Bitches, I AM the mayor of CWCville. You can see how badly I fucked it up, though. The place is constantly being bombed, thousands are dead, vital infrastructure is cactus and those who aren't rioting or trying to stop the rioting are digging through the rubble or begging for food, water and medicine.
 
Now that would enrage Catholic traditionalists.

Also, obviously he would get rid of celibacy and permit women to be priests, so Crystal could be the next pope.
 
I agree that Chris would do away with celibacy and would permit women to become priests so Rocky could join him. He'd probably make her a Cardinal. I think that the celibacy would come with rules, though. He'd probably make up some arbitrary rules that he himself hasn't nor wouldn't follow. It'd probably be something along the lines of "all sex has to be done out of love" or he'd say something like "all boyfriend-free girls should put out for guys that ask them, especially on the third date", eventually legalizing prostitution so his Poop-ness can go get some paid nookie. Hmm... other than that? He might let out the most epic of Kame-ye-ha, or whatever he called it. I can also see him making a new set of 10 Commandments and chiseling "Thou shalt not troll thy neighbor" in as an extra 11th, saying that GodJesus gave him that last rule.

Odds are that he'd probably just end up a puppet Pope like some of the others that have ascended the Papal Throne. Some of them were less willing to be jerked around, but let's not fool ourselves by thinking that any of the Popes were completely free thinkers that listened to nobody else or caved in to other people's demands. There have been Cardinals and Bishops that have died "mysteriously" suddenly, with the persons in question being people of power that didn't follow status quo and they pissed off the wrong people in command. Although I can see Chris using the Vatican attack/guard team to go after trolls.
 
If I were to become the Mayor of CWCville, I would pretty much have these choices:
A) Work for a just one month, fixing some problems such as changing the currency to actual U.S. Dollars. If I can make CWCville a better place to live in, than I'll stay as mayor. If I don't make much progress, I'll just take my paycheck and let a more qualified person take the stand.

B) Rule CWCville like a corrupt politician, turning the city into a hive of scum and villainy. Trolls loiter the streets, tobacky is sold by dealers behind dark alley ways, and the villains that Chris defeated such as Slaweel actually rule the city, with me as a puppet mayor.

C) Rule CWCville with Allison, destroy the electric hedgehog pokemon, move the mayor's office to a much better building, remove the trolls from prison. Leave the city under the rulership of someone else who is a member of this forum.
 
Re: What if Nintendo and/or Sega actually made a Sonichu gam

He would insist that they stole his "copyright", would tard rage, shit himself and stress-sigh, then crash into slumber and forget that it happened when he woke up.
 
JarlaxleBaenre said:
Chris as the Pope brings to mind a character from Michael Moorcock's Jerry Cornelius novels. A morbidly obese old guy named Bishop Beesley. Basically, he loves to stuff himself with sweets and chase down that dang photonegative troll, Jerry Cornelius. That's how I see Pope Chris: turning to the McDonalds in times of stress while peeping in on other people's nookie and making a general nuissance of himself.
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So a cross between....


and...
 

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Rather than Chris, I could see Sonichu in the Doctor role.

Doctor Chu. Long after the destruction of CWCville, in the Troll War, Doctor Chu gains a new companion in Rose Chuler. Having sealed the Troll War in a time lock, he proceeds to travel to cities far and wide in the TURDIS (Totally UnReliable Disheveled Interdimesional Ship) while fighting off the remnants of the Trolls.

The great shock comes in series 3 where we find that Blachu was trapped at the end of the universe under the guise of Aspergian Professor Yana, with his real conciousness trapped inside a Medallion. Upon the revelation of the meaning of Yana (You Are Not Aspergian!) he becomes Blachu once more and steals Doctor Chu's TURDIS.

Series 4, the citizens of CWCville come back. But Doctor Chu wasn't telling the truth about his people. In the great Troll War, the citizens of CWCville, and the Lord Mayor himself Chrissilon became trolls themselves and wanted to sacrifice their bodily forms to become beings of pure laziness (at the cost of Charlottesville and it's associated businesses).
 
Instead of the SIxth Doctor's hideous coat, it would just be one of his more garish Clown Shirts. I'm not sure if that's an improvement or not.
 
Wait, what if he actually died in 2010 and regenerated into tomgirl Chris
 
it would be overfilled with poorly designed roller coasters
 
CatParty said:
it would be overfilled with poorly designed roller coasters
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They would be Chris's personal designs and none of them that work. The ones that actually do work would break down and remain indefinitely closed, because Chris would become too stressed to deal with getting repair guys there.

It'd sorta be like that episode of South Park with Cartmanland, except Chris would just get really stressed out and nothing would work. Also, there'd be costumed characters of Sonichu and Rosechu but they'd look monstrous as Chris would personally make the costumes himself.
 
You know how in Rollercoaster Tycoon you can make some of your rides so dangerously unsafe that they can actually kill guests? Yeah, that would happen.
 
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