- Joined
- Jul 17, 2016
I cant remember what specifically made me peak but I remember specific events that made me go "Shut UUUUUUUUUUUUP..."
I've always had a huskier, deeper voice and as a kid I would get misgendered and teased all the time. It made me upset and cry all the time and I essentially slid back and fell into depression and severe low self esteem. I was also a fat kid and that had an equally huge effect on me. This was in the 00s and back in middle school I started thinking maybe I was born wrong. That I was supposed to be a male all of that. In hindsight and with years of therapy I realized that was just the clinical depression talking. I didnt feel like a female even if i was fine with my body. Thats when i found out about body dysmorphia and what it was. Immediately answered a lot of questions and i started backing off of the trans question.
There was no internet grooming (outside of furries), no tranny chats, none of that. I came up with the thought and figured out my own issue and solution. That's what I assumed all transgender people went through and to be fair, it is. I knew an ftm at one of my old jobs and they were cool. None in uni, none in community college, just that one workplace. They were more common online in the spaces I hung out in. This was early in the 2010s and I wss ambivalent about it ultimately. Im all for friends being there for each other and people being happy so hey, if it makes you happy then great!
Yeah nah, it soon became the exact opposite. I'll always be a tomboy and say that. I've had one person suggest that i really am trans because i entertained the thought for a long time. I said no and that I have a love-hate relationship with my body. The mere idea of that made me upset. Black women are already treated like masculine fucks and i have a serious issue with that mindset. Ironically I actually feel so much more worse about myself because of this shit. I don't like joining group calls or talking to people. Im going to lose my mind if someone insists im an ftm again. Thats so disrespectful to even suggest to anyone.
Anyway I'm getting away from my point. I started paying attention when i first joined the site and participated in the PK thread. Again, im ambivalent about it all and while it was weird and disturbing (Eevee is so fucking disturbing to observe) it had no bearing on my life. Then 2016 happened, then the trans in the army ban, the TDS, all of it started making me groan in aggravation. The tumblr porn ban made them all shit up twitter and i felt my good will completely evaporate. I have a couple of transmale friends now; one who's a great guy who takes care of himself, does him, and is a diligent worker. I can rave about him all day because he's so nice. The other i can only hope is the same. I prefer the person have a personality and hobbies that arent their labels tyvm.
I realize they are outliers and ive seen some of the nastiest, degenerate fucks bith in the wild and in the sideshow thread. I guess i can say browsing it peaked me then...because I started getting vitriolic. The JK Rowling stuff was fucking annoying and made it worse. The tranny sideshow thread just made me realize that there were NO PLACES to just bitch about this stuff. Not one place online aside from here to just vent and get it out. I got introduced to an associate and he's my immediate go-to to talk about the woes of Clown World. Amazing introduction by a mutual of ours. But thats my issue. You cant say shit about these people. No jokes, no criticisms, no advice. Everything is a hate crime or transphobic or bigotry. Simply denying them into any space is fascism. Ive had enough of it.
I try to be more positive and help people if i see they need it but holy shit these people act like advice is poison and blind praise is a vaccine. Why are most of them fucking autistic??? Why are they all like this? If the person is trans but an actual person and not some programmed cyborg then I'm fine. Kled Dad and Kled Mother are both fucking sick of them. I talk with my mom daily about the trannies. My dad just makes mean spirited jokes like he always does. He just fucking hates them. If i see another autistic shrimp go "i wish i could just be a cute girl" im going to scream.
Its always cathartic to just come into a room and scream at the wall while breaking plates. Im not a bigot; racist yes. Who isnt? Yet at the rate this is going, im going to get caught making faces at any tranny i see. They all congregate downtown by the university as bums or students. I feel like a fucking boomer.
I've always had a huskier, deeper voice and as a kid I would get misgendered and teased all the time. It made me upset and cry all the time and I essentially slid back and fell into depression and severe low self esteem. I was also a fat kid and that had an equally huge effect on me. This was in the 00s and back in middle school I started thinking maybe I was born wrong. That I was supposed to be a male all of that. In hindsight and with years of therapy I realized that was just the clinical depression talking. I didnt feel like a female even if i was fine with my body. Thats when i found out about body dysmorphia and what it was. Immediately answered a lot of questions and i started backing off of the trans question.
There was no internet grooming (outside of furries), no tranny chats, none of that. I came up with the thought and figured out my own issue and solution. That's what I assumed all transgender people went through and to be fair, it is. I knew an ftm at one of my old jobs and they were cool. None in uni, none in community college, just that one workplace. They were more common online in the spaces I hung out in. This was early in the 2010s and I wss ambivalent about it ultimately. Im all for friends being there for each other and people being happy so hey, if it makes you happy then great!
Yeah nah, it soon became the exact opposite. I'll always be a tomboy and say that. I've had one person suggest that i really am trans because i entertained the thought for a long time. I said no and that I have a love-hate relationship with my body. The mere idea of that made me upset. Black women are already treated like masculine fucks and i have a serious issue with that mindset. Ironically I actually feel so much more worse about myself because of this shit. I don't like joining group calls or talking to people. Im going to lose my mind if someone insists im an ftm again. Thats so disrespectful to even suggest to anyone.
Anyway I'm getting away from my point. I started paying attention when i first joined the site and participated in the PK thread. Again, im ambivalent about it all and while it was weird and disturbing (Eevee is so fucking disturbing to observe) it had no bearing on my life. Then 2016 happened, then the trans in the army ban, the TDS, all of it started making me groan in aggravation. The tumblr porn ban made them all shit up twitter and i felt my good will completely evaporate. I have a couple of transmale friends now; one who's a great guy who takes care of himself, does him, and is a diligent worker. I can rave about him all day because he's so nice. The other i can only hope is the same. I prefer the person have a personality and hobbies that arent their labels tyvm.
I realize they are outliers and ive seen some of the nastiest, degenerate fucks bith in the wild and in the sideshow thread. I guess i can say browsing it peaked me then...because I started getting vitriolic. The JK Rowling stuff was fucking annoying and made it worse. The tranny sideshow thread just made me realize that there were NO PLACES to just bitch about this stuff. Not one place online aside from here to just vent and get it out. I got introduced to an associate and he's my immediate go-to to talk about the woes of Clown World. Amazing introduction by a mutual of ours. But thats my issue. You cant say shit about these people. No jokes, no criticisms, no advice. Everything is a hate crime or transphobic or bigotry. Simply denying them into any space is fascism. Ive had enough of it.
I try to be more positive and help people if i see they need it but holy shit these people act like advice is poison and blind praise is a vaccine. Why are most of them fucking autistic??? Why are they all like this? If the person is trans but an actual person and not some programmed cyborg then I'm fine. Kled Dad and Kled Mother are both fucking sick of them. I talk with my mom daily about the trannies. My dad just makes mean spirited jokes like he always does. He just fucking hates them. If i see another autistic shrimp go "i wish i could just be a cute girl" im going to scream.
Its always cathartic to just come into a room and scream at the wall while breaking plates. Im not a bigot; racist yes. Who isnt? Yet at the rate this is going, im going to get caught making faces at any tranny i see. They all congregate downtown by the university as bums or students. I feel like a fucking boomer.