Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
Phalanges Mycologist said:
Yea he did not like that one bit, I think he's already mentally regulated it to if I'm out of mouth wash and hand sanitiser gel I'll drink that territory.
Click to expand...
He obviously mixed an obscene amount of shitdka in there. The give away is him holding it in his mouth for so long.

Definitely dry heaved, possibly yurked, he loved(hated) it.

He's so full of shit about even the most irrelevant banal bullshit. It's probably safer to just assume he's lying/cheating.

Case in point, magical box opening.

At least he took off his unambiguously gay shirt and flamer bandanna.

He's really been on one lately. I love it when he's feeling himself. He starts eye fucking himself in his Webcam and stroking his luscious locks(skullet).

I really want more content of him bragging about nakedandtarded. It blows my mind that he believes her obvious lie about enduring a 6 year sexual dry spell.

It's common knowledge and easily verifiable that she began aggressively targeting him THE DAY AFTER her convict bf went to jail(here's hoping for cobra to start beefing with him over that "woman").

The truth is she'll keep her bf's presence secret while they scam him in tandem.
 
  • Winner
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: G.Rapefruit, Dude Snakes, An automatic clown and 3 others
Al Dente Alighieri said:
The only time i’ve ever seen him give a negative review and this includes eat Surstromming was some Mountain Dew flavour he had as a kid where he swore up and down it tasted like straight cat piss,
Click to expand...
It was actually sprite tropical remix. It was sent to him by a fan and he HATED it. A lot of people think he was sent old 2000’s original bottles of the stuff and that’s why it was bad but that’s a misconception. They had brought back the flavor for a limited run and those were the bottles he was sent fresh and new. There was nothing wrong with them just normal soda and for whatever reason, I think he was already in a really sour mood, he was incensed that they didn’t taste how he remembered. He spends some time being down on himself and uncharacteristically honest about his faults when he talks about how he’s lonely and longs for a girlfriend but because hes faced so much rejection he’s too afraid to approach women which then ensures he’s lonely and depressed.

Then, out of nowhere, he smashed his guitar for seemingly no reason and immediately regretted it. He sat there holding the splintered mess near tears talking about how much it meant to him and all the sentimental value it held because he worked a paper route and saved up to buy it and it was his first guitar and he’s had it since highschool. He doesn’t provide any reason why he broke it he just gets up and decides to break it and then acts as if it being broken was unavoidable as he mourns it. This was also an round the time when he thought he had an eating disorder and would call himself an “fucking porker” for eating subway and read off how many calories and carbs are in a bag of Doritos I think. Incredibly bizarre video and a definite must watch.

Can’t find the original but boglim chronicles Does a pretty good recap
 
  • Like
  • Informative
  • Winner
Reactions: G.Rapefruit, murph, Dude Snakes and 11 others
Shiba Inu Strike Force said:
He will have pancreatitis before anything else outside of acute alcohol poisoning which is hard for alcoholics to end up in the hospital for out of sheer denial. Pancreatitis is too painful to ignore, but avoiding the hospital is possible. Although that can kill you.
Click to expand...
The pain from pancreatitis is immense. Basically your pancreas is digesting itself from being to inflamed to leak out the bile and enzymes it produces. He'd have to be in the hospital for a few days and even when discharged you have to follow a low fat diet with no alcohal whatsoever. If you don't you'll keep going to the hospital until you die. Pancreas flareups aren't like.. managable on your own, you have to go to the hospital. The BOY and his non compliant attitude would surely kill him if he got pancreatitis. Or who knows, maybe he'll get better to own the troles.

"See troles, i'm drinking hienekin 0 (not a sponser) mixed with beet juice. And im still alive cause sober cobes runs your terrible lives! Twu!"
 
  • Like
  • Informative
  • Horrifying
Reactions: Haloperidol, G.Rapefruit, Dude Snakes and 5 others
Slim Boglim said:
Incredibly bizarre video
Click to expand...
IIRC he loved tropical remix because he used to get it as a treat from clint or something after guitar lessons. I do know however, that he did his fake Dr Squatch "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO IT SMELLS SO BAD" routine because one of the fat retards he watched on youtube made a video about how the new tropical remix was terrible and not as good as the original so he just parroted him as usual.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: Dude Snakes, An automatic clown and Buster Scruggs
Cobes looking actually sickly in the newest food review video.
cpansfa.PNG
 
  • Horrifying
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: Aqueous Kiwi, Haloperidol, Xenomorph and 13 others
In between successful brewery of alcoholic specialities and all the other commitments, he also manages to pay tribute to his adorer.
She continues to stream more hours of the day than she doesn't, cussing out her viewers in the usual practised manner, because the troles are troling her.
cobes nal chat.JPG
Cobra stayed in her livestream for about an hour, posted her cashapp link and then disappeared.
 
  • Informative
  • Lunacy
  • Like
Reactions: Meiwaku, XxxwernxxX, Dude Snakes and 5 others
If he gets taken out, it will be something like pancreatitis or another type of infection you can’t ignore. I think he would just march on if it’s a slow decay. Rotting teeth, a few strands of hair, blood shot crossed eyes, cuts that don’t heal, and got know whatever else — he will survive.

I feel his NakedAndRetarded arc has him acting like a shy kid with no clue how to react. He’s smug he has an ‘admirer’ but like a 10 year old, has no clue what to even do about it — not that he would do anything. He just smiles, likes the attention, and continues to down himself in booze and fast food.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Xenomorph, Dude Snakes, Slim Boglim and 6 others
Bogliacci said:
No trolle child it is you who will die, ozzy will live until he's 115 and he doesn't need to sign cobra his health is more important, enjoy the video responce trole child
Click to expand...
I love how he always brings up he is willing to not be signed if it means Ozzy can take better care of himself.

I mean its a complete retarded understanding of how a contract works. But also, does Cobes really think his music is something Ozzy would be interested in? I mean he has ears, he must know his music, regardless if he thinks its good or not, is not something that fits the same mould as Ozzys brand of heavy metal.

The boy is so retarded, it's layers upon layers, and each one has down syndrome.
 
  • Feels
  • Like
  • Winner
Reactions: Clovis, Dude Snakes, An automatic clown and 9 others
Nook Figures said:
Has Cobes ever acknowledged a failure or flaw with one of his brews, or even made a negative remark about some aspect of one?
Click to expand...
Has he ever considered just making mead? It's super easy, even he could do it. For someone as lazy as Cobes, it's amazing how much effort he puts into making something be completely shitty.
 
  • Like
  • Optimistic
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Frog Man, Dude Snakes, An automatic clown and 3 others
AnOminous said:
Has he ever considered just making mead? It's super easy, even he could do it. For someone as lazy as Cobes, it's amazing how much effort he puts into making something be completely shitty.
Click to expand...
Cobra has to do things "his way." Order a regular cheeseburger? Nah I'll add 3 patties, chicken tenders, doritos, 6 slices of cheese and call it a food hack. Order a regular pepperoni pizza? As if, I need 16 toppings and 3 garlic butter cups or I'm not getting out of bed. He treats everything edible he orders or creates like a little kid with a big gulp cup in front of the soda fountain, sticking his cup beneath each type of soda for a few seconds to create a pitch-black sugar drink with no clear flavor. Except instead of actually consuming it most of the time he lets it sit out on the counter for a day and a half before actually trying any.

One of my all-time favorite Cobra moments was a couple years back when he was sent a coupon code for a free pizza. He, being highly regarded, could not figure out how to enter the code and order the pizza on the restaurant's website and grew increasingly frustrated until someone eventually sent him a free medium 1 topping pizza. You might think this would quell his tard rage, but Cobra only became angrier because instead of being able to use the coupon code to order his own boglimized custom pizza "his way" he was forced to sit there and eat some shitty standard pleb pizza without a dozen dissonant toppings. One of those moments that kind of makes you hate the ungrateful shit.

 
  • Like
  • Feels
  • Winner
Reactions: Prehistoric Jazz, Clovis, Dude Snakes and 9 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back