Vinilo
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2024
Hi all. I think this is the best thread to talk about this. I haven't lost anyone, but I'm somewhat worried about my cousin. She's a young teenager and has always been different than the rest of our family members. She likes to dress in an alternative fashion, black clothes, dark eye makeup, but nothing drastic. She always has been awkward, shy and sensitive and kind of weird, in a way you would spot an autistic person by the way of speaking and mannerisms, very small things. During the last family gathering me and our cousins went outside and started talking, before we didn't have a great relationship (not hostile). I'm the oldest cousin and have good relationships with all of those I see often, but I see her rarely. She told me she was scared of me and found me intimidating before this situation lmao.
Recently during another family thing we spent much more time together and she opened up to me and three of my other cousins. We went to a long walk and talked. She had to change schools due to constant bullying and her class teacher inaction. Boys in her class were targeting her because she's weird and unusual and doesn't talk much, has a weird style and interest, listens to weird music (metal) etc. She experimented a lot with hair and one time cut a big strand too short by accident, so she decided to cut the rest to match. Then the bully group moved from name calling to physical violence, pushing her, poking her with scissors, stealing her backpack and personal items, locking her in rooms, making her trip on the hallways and such. One time a boy pushed her down the stairs and she hurt her arm. The class teacher saw it and did nothing. Other teachers also ignored her, saying it's not a big deal when she talked about it. One time a boy was calling her a lesbian because she has short hair, she replied by asking if his mom and grandma were also lesbians since they have even shorter hair than her and. He got mad and went away lmao. It was mostly her talking during the walk, I felt like it was weighing on her and needed to say all of this.
My cousins (all around her age) laughed at the notion that a haircut indicates these things. They said that they know and know of lesbians and bisexual girls who have typical haircuts.
Before the walk she was implying that her female friend is something more, like "my friend... well, I don't know if she's a friend because of some stuff". I asked if she's mean to her or talking behind her back, she said it's the opposite. We said "ohhh, a "special friend", as to show acceptance and not make it a big deal. During the walk she said the friend is her girlfriend and we reacted normally. The same way if a straight girl said "my boyfriend", which is the best way to treat those issues in my opinion.
Her new school is much better, she likes her class and the class teacher. But I'm kinda worried about her still. She had difficult experiences, her self esteem is low, she seems to be lonely and is a bit weird. Her parents are loving but demanding, she feels she's worse than her incredibly intelligent brother who is studying medicine, and she has had low grades. She also dresses in a masculine way, for one formal event she wore a suit, I've seen her in a skirt maybe once. Her clothes are very oversized. Her character is more of a tomboy. I don't mean that she has to wear high heels and have her hair done for math class, but a vulnerable, kind of depressed young girl could be receptive for a trans narrative. Our huge family is very traditional and religious (but loving), while she is either bisexual or lesbian. There are not many trans people here, I haven't seen one irl ever, there are LGB but they're everywhere. They are online though, she uses social media. We know how algorithms work. She could come across crazy things, like "if you don't like dresses, dislike your periods and have masculine hobbies you are a boy actually".
My question would be, what to look for in terms of possible trans thoughts in a case of young girl struggling mentally? She's very intelligent, but social media can make a mush of anybody's brain. I'm very happy she opened up and felt safe, I told her to text or call me anytime. I want to be a good example for her.
Recently during another family thing we spent much more time together and she opened up to me and three of my other cousins. We went to a long walk and talked. She had to change schools due to constant bullying and her class teacher inaction. Boys in her class were targeting her because she's weird and unusual and doesn't talk much, has a weird style and interest, listens to weird music (metal) etc. She experimented a lot with hair and one time cut a big strand too short by accident, so she decided to cut the rest to match. Then the bully group moved from name calling to physical violence, pushing her, poking her with scissors, stealing her backpack and personal items, locking her in rooms, making her trip on the hallways and such. One time a boy pushed her down the stairs and she hurt her arm. The class teacher saw it and did nothing. Other teachers also ignored her, saying it's not a big deal when she talked about it. One time a boy was calling her a lesbian because she has short hair, she replied by asking if his mom and grandma were also lesbians since they have even shorter hair than her and. He got mad and went away lmao. It was mostly her talking during the walk, I felt like it was weighing on her and needed to say all of this.
My cousins (all around her age) laughed at the notion that a haircut indicates these things. They said that they know and know of lesbians and bisexual girls who have typical haircuts.
Before the walk she was implying that her female friend is something more, like "my friend... well, I don't know if she's a friend because of some stuff". I asked if she's mean to her or talking behind her back, she said it's the opposite. We said "ohhh, a "special friend", as to show acceptance and not make it a big deal. During the walk she said the friend is her girlfriend and we reacted normally. The same way if a straight girl said "my boyfriend", which is the best way to treat those issues in my opinion.
Her new school is much better, she likes her class and the class teacher. But I'm kinda worried about her still. She had difficult experiences, her self esteem is low, she seems to be lonely and is a bit weird. Her parents are loving but demanding, she feels she's worse than her incredibly intelligent brother who is studying medicine, and she has had low grades. She also dresses in a masculine way, for one formal event she wore a suit, I've seen her in a skirt maybe once. Her clothes are very oversized. Her character is more of a tomboy. I don't mean that she has to wear high heels and have her hair done for math class, but a vulnerable, kind of depressed young girl could be receptive for a trans narrative. Our huge family is very traditional and religious (but loving), while she is either bisexual or lesbian. There are not many trans people here, I haven't seen one irl ever, there are LGB but they're everywhere. They are online though, she uses social media. We know how algorithms work. She could come across crazy things, like "if you don't like dresses, dislike your periods and have masculine hobbies you are a boy actually".
My question would be, what to look for in terms of possible trans thoughts in a case of young girl struggling mentally? She's very intelligent, but social media can make a mush of anybody's brain. I'm very happy she opened up and felt safe, I told her to text or call me anytime. I want to be a good example for her.