random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Lovecraft's Cat]

Round 2: The tentacles are coming out.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

You're supposed to run over glowies, not shoot them.

"Did you draw your pistol intending to use it?"

my inner gun sperg wants to fucking kill this guy for using the wrong terminology.

"I should have put more bullets in him"

Did he see the memes? I hope he saw the memes.

Here we go, I came here to see an ass fucking, I want my ass fucking.

This is a good ass fuckin.

"mr. grosswigger are you a redditor"

Lex Luther please stop, the 13th amendment makes it illegal to own niggas like this

"YOU CAN GO HOME YOU FUCKING STOOGE!!"

rape rape

rape rape

RAPE RAPE ON THE VERY FIRST DATE

 

[Meat Target]

Remember the Dedicated Hamas KFC Tunnel(TM)

 

[NyQuilninja]

How do the copious amounts of rape and murder play into this? Inquiring minds want to know about the rape and murder.

Obesity doesnt share anything. Least of all its Extra Large Loaded Nachos.

He has the haircut equivalent of a Hitler stache

My vagina dried up, turned to dust, and blew off in the breeze looking at this fucking abomination.

It never occurred to me that these Nazi incels would know so much about Nigeria. I’m not sure why they do, but I’m impressed, Nazi incels, this is super interesting.

Everyone hates the establishment when it's their necks being trampled on. The true test is where you step when it's your foot wearing the boot.

Trump hating, dead baby obsessing faggots all need to experience a massive, collective swirlie down a high school toilet.

That tweet raped me and made me keep its baby to term

The people who write these articles are probably those same atrocious people who microwave fish at work.

I'm drawn to these BPD chicks like white on rice. I can't help myself. I'm a masochist. I hate my dick.

Is it just me, or does that hippo look a little Downy?

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

i cant believe jump kick man is the legally acceptable name

This doesn't even make sense any more.

You see, I only happened to lie in a way that was very convenient to me on accident because pain meds. Total coincidence man.

THIS IDIOT WAS TWEETING ABOUT THE CASE WHILE IT WAS IN COURT?!??!?!?!??!?!

NO REGERTS

Physical wounds can heal. Spiritual wounds take far longer.

Keep posting nonsense guys this guy is clearly reading the thread

Please for the love of God resist arrest, that would be even more hilarious

If they drag this guy to the stand in handcuffs I will shit and piss and cum

Thank you, God, for making these people stupid.

Desire to say nigger in court intensifies

KKKyle Rittenhouse xtremely large caliber firearm that can shoot through tanks and/or elementary schools.

JUMP KICK MAN

"Is this species of rifle native to the area, or would it have migrated from across state lines?"

"then i took the meanie poopoo rifle and found that it was officially a meanie poopoo rifle used by meanie poopoo racist murderers"

OY VEY ITS ANUDA SHOAH

Lime green and army green are completely fucking opposite shades of fucking green you fucking retards

 

[Lovecraft's Cat]

┏━━┓┏━━┓┏━━┓┏━━┓
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┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃┏━┛┃┏━┛┃
gonna get fucked in my remade vag
┃┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃┏━┛┃┏━┛
┃┗━┓┃┗┛┃┃┗━┓┃┗━┓
┗━━┛┗━━┛┗━━┛┗━━┛

 

[SCSI]

Man this means that if I kill big bird and fry him up I can't claim it is non GMO food

 

[PhoBingas]

Virgin Odinists vs Chad Servants of Crom

 

[Blackhole]

The creation of Funko Pops in a third world factory uses way less energy than a NFT!

His car COULD NOT PERFORM, could not FUCKING PERFORM, on the road, because he was just busy STREET RACING, so now the piece of shit car is CRASHED, because it's made by bullshit plastic from CHINKS and now LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT.

Ralph totaled his shart, now comes the cart!

A washed up and talentless cunt
yet again evades death with this stunt.
between the lines he was snorting
he chimes "no aborting!"
this wreck of a man -nay, a gunt

Because KF documents and studies retards, and the future is exceptional.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

That's autism for you.

I really wish they would continue their facial recognition program so it could be repurposed for drone strikes. That would be kind of neat.

Reads headline: "On no!"
Reads sub-title: "Hooray!"

Yo dude, if you shake your woman and she squirts... Either you got one kinky lady, or that's not squirt. That's piss. Stop assaulting your lady just because you're horny.

TIL: consequences = rape.

If a woman is squirting out red stuff, then she has a problem.

If your immediate thoughts after reading the instructions on a ketchup bottle are sexual, you need actual, serious help.

Is this faggot speech? Not sure how you give a full-throated bear hug unless we are talking about a different kind of "bear".

I misread that tweet as saying autistic freak pervert at first and now I'm disappointed that's not what it actually says.

Straight men don’t suck dick.

Gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.

Imagine being a mass shooter who killed less people than a crowd excited to see Drake.

Women are the niggers of gender.

 

[Hitman One]

Truly inspirational. I feel like his gravestone should have a QR code that links to his Twitter account

his eyes would glaze over and he'd start thinking about tranny sex when the doctor starts lecturing him about needing to maintain his mangina.

 

[Cats]

 

[Tard Police]

Take a look at that schnozz!
He's one of (((them)))

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

You tell him: poop in the toilet like a real man or you're going to leave. Then do it. File for divorce.

 

[Blackhole]

We gotta fuck up the economy to undo the systematic racism of roads.

It's like roadside Jerry Springer without the bouncer around to stop the trash from killing each other.

"i heard her bash the fuck out of my computer all because I think Roblox is better than her"

"they vill complement mine pretty white drees...and my white lace stockeens..."

 

[Ken Barlow]

If you can’t handle me at my violent manic outburst worst, you don’t deserve me at my greasy methwhore best~

 

[MediocreMilt]

this will be my final post on kiwifarms. i must do this, not only for her but for me. end of the day, i am too gifted and short on time to waste on things like this. time isnt on my side and my health is suffering in a specific way that will be taking me in 2022 if the oracle is to be trusted.

 

[Haffhart]

Focusing on fucking ahegao lions of all things is absolutely bizarre. It's stupid, and pointless, but so are video games...

That's two quotes I've found so far bitching about vidya. What did vidya ever do to you?

 

[Penis Drager]

nobody is stopping you from putting a school uniform on a 20 year old 4 foot 4 Macedonian prostitute

 

[Blackhole]

damn niggas is really outt here performing esoteric luciferian magiks walkin into tha Maw of tha Void hellmouth niggas