random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[KiwiFuzz]

I hope we get more, but at the same time I hope that we don't.

Remember when Goatse was the most horrifying image on the internet? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

Kiwi Farms : Autistic Faggots you can Trust.

 

[Meat Target]

buffalo headdress guy walks up to the white house

WOLOLOLO

our democracy (tm) has fallen

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

I always stick up for myself. Like when I kicked that eighth grader in the crotch.

 

[Autistic Joe]

Do you think rooms lined with in-box Funko Pops have a good R-value?

They certainly have good R-tard value

 

[PhoBingas]

I hope Barb gets taken in by Aunt Harriet and tries to fuck Tom again.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I now have the horrible image of lola bunny getting gang raped by Alex Delarge and his friends in my head.

 

[Ebony Way]

Mild powerlevel, but I’m willing to bet my uncle buying hookers led to both my cousins becoming rapists.

Just so I'm clear, we've just spent 12 hours and ~250 posts ranging from "What is that green shit on her knee" to "That's a fake Rolex" to "Look at these posts her dad made a decade ago" to "Look at this fucking pixel on her fake ID" about some insignificant wannabe BritThot and the Farm's conclusion is, that she's too autistic to be allowed on the internet.

I came here to laugh to a fat troon. I didn't come to get here a existential crisis.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

@GargoyleGorl how dare you post something so intriguing and not source

Him trying to sell her her own burger is so weird that the story would make more sense if the author made it up and forgot that she's not actually both characters at the same time.

it was me
i am responsible for slavery

I assume the picture is of her, she doesn't look fat.

The first mars mission is gonna explore this, and when they get back one of the astronauts is gonna reveal that they were replaced by The Thing as they gnaw on some dudes face and grows legs from their head.

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

@GargoyleGorl how dare you post something so intriguing and not source

Sowwy.

It's from an old one of Chantal's epic meltdowns where she was "defending" herself against charges of racism. The same one where she said this:

I'll run you over with my 5XL walker so fast, you won't know what hit you. I exercise when I have to, bitch.

(I was looking for one of her videos for unrelated reasons and was reminded of this. Thought it was worth posting.)

Original deleted, archived copy here.

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

"too bad, you old fart *throws my uterus in his face*" -Stephanie Cianfriglia, to the Pope

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Jesus fucking Christ, I'm away from the farms for two days and Thomas starts naming his Schizophrenia-caused imaginary friends.

 

[Rise]

dude I once like sucked the poop back in and out and when I finally stopped teasing it I kept cutting it off as it left me so it stayed in me longer

Courtesy of a TikTok comment section.

 

[NigKid]

He's worse than a tranny he is, may allah forgive me for what I'm about to say. A journo.

 

[Law]

Well, the devil is one thing, but the long arm of the law? It has the devil beat by miles! The devil has nothing on the police!

 

[Meat Target]

So it'll be just like Second Life and you'll be "terrorized" with flying rayciss penises.

 

[Local Fed]

I do not like Charlie Kirk. His smug aura on Twitter mocks me.

Tommy Tooter's mom died. He sperged out playing a song for her on his recorder, then proceded to have a coughing fit for 5 min. In his eulogy video he talks about space jews.

I'll never forget when Tim had Steve Rene on Beanie IRL. Steve was talking about how he witnessed his friends dying and seeing people getting blown in half by RPGs and then Tim bragged about how he's traumatized by LiveLeak videos for several minutes.

I mean there's wanting to exaggerate your ancestral trauma for pity points and then there's buck breaking, I feel like there's a line somewhere.

Ignore the schizoposters at your peril.

How humiliating is it to send a girl a picture of your penis only to receive the response “Latino pp”?

My favorite of the fat people ornaments: just a whole stick of butter.

Yesterday's hate filled conspiracy is today's "and this is why that's a good thing."

This is a certified 冰淇淋 moment

You have no idea the suffering you have unleashed on people stupid enough to follow internet politics.

I used to be joking, but now I seriously believe "fat acceptance" is a USDA conspiracy.

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

Holy shit dude. Just rope.

 

[thisighuf]

Another quote by Sinseer to live by, 2004-2006 era

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

THAT MAN HAS A FLASHBANG UNDER HIS BEANIE, OPEN FIRE!

Oh sure, but when I try to name my business "No Niggers Allowed Ranch" suddenly there's a problem.