random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[BlueSpark]

This is the kind of content I've been missing and I hope it gets worse.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

Maybe. Found the story to see for myself. The elves also become Scandinavian Mormons or something.

Here are the elves. We need to build a wall, close all of their churches and ban all of their Christmas trees.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

Elves are invading Poland right as we speak. This is horrifying. The Poles have never been this upset before. They were going to go to a meeting in Warsaw, but they had to cancel because of the elves. There have been no elves in Poland for over a hundred years. Not since the Great Elf War, a conflict that ended with the elves retreating to an alternate dimension where they live in peace. It is said that the elves do not even remember the war and only talk about it with sadness. The humans are worried that if the elves do return, it will mean the end of civilization. But what does it mean for the elves? I am going to go to Poland to find out!

Well, they didn’t end up leaving. In fact, the elves took over much of the country.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

He's upset that I came on here to say that his penis is just big enough that it doesn't qualify as a micropenis.

 

[JustSomeDong]

I saved some Kiwis' avatars so I can edit them into an autistic love dodechahedron.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Oh FBI I remember when we were young and you would spin me such elaborate psyops. Now you just phone it in and roll over to sleep and I have to finish gaslighting myself in the bathroom

“Every time, the Montana GOP chooses the most hateful action available … taking up benches”

I'm sorry friend, it's pissjugs all the way down.

Honestly fascinating and a tribute to the importance of pissmastery

SUICIDE PREVENTED!

Yeah but who doesn't enjoy some good, uncut druflgs?

 

[Aunt Carol]

A Beretta 92fs. The gun itself is reliable, cool, & iconic. But the primary driving force that lead to the purchase was to have it for St. Patrick's Day when I get pretty drunk & watch The Boondock Saints.

 

[Poonocchio]

Did you know Shane Nokes pays me to suck his dick and he's fat? Also I'm fat. Not sure if you noticed.

 

[Positron]

I Cum Blood.

My best guess is a mummified penis

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

White knights ain't what they used to be.

I'm sure he'll end up cutting his dick off on stage with his moomoo to praise Satan

That's not the kind of thing you'd want to be detailing in the open, even as a theoretical; especially here.

Would you want to have sex if AO3 smut was your introduction to sex? I wouldn't.

Sometimes I wonder why I put effort into making real art when I would make more cash by slapping some Cricut stickers onto 50 cent aliexpress trash.

 

[Billy Stinkwater]

I chronicles the life and fatness of on Rick S Thomas like my father, and his father before him to exhibit at the great Kiwi library of Nullexandria so that for all time humanity will know that this guy was really fucking fat. The most noble of endeavors.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

It's 2023 - you really think being misogynistic is tough?

 

[Dr. Butt]

Finnish bum chum

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

This is like watching a bum fight between a crack ho and a meth head. Whoever wins is still going to shit in my yard and possibly try to knife me, so fuck it. Maybe both sides will be severely injured.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Not to be a complete bitch but can we not keep the rape videos out of this thread?

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

I need you to tongue my ass deep until you get every drop, then spit your dirty creampie in my mouth.

source

 

[Blackhole]

"Ya ever notice how lazy and unproductive them robots are? I mean look at 'em, sitting around, doing meaningless tasks over and over again. Speaking the crazy beep bop boopity computer speak."

”Grifters exist so clearly right-wingers are no better than the party that wants little boys to chop their penises off and arrest anyone who dissents to that, including the very website I’m posting on, something something muh pedo priests”. -the enlightened centrist intellectual

if you are a grown adult and think two fictional child characters are lesbians you should kill yourself now before you start beating it to boku no pico

 

[Pee Cola]

Autism is not a resource you spend at will. It spends itself.

We have truly gazed into the lolcow abyss and now it gazes back at us.

I just want to note that rape has existed in high interest rate environments too.

If Chris is Homer Simpson we are Frank Grimes watching him in disbelief.

 

[AMHOLIO]

"i have a dream every black child will be chemically castrated. if they are not, i will kill myself"

 

[Gentlebastard]

Its not often you get to see a Bifurcated Gunt in its early stages, but this is it.
Quite a find.

Niggers. I knew it.

Shame it's the treasure of a nation invading us illegally, but, still, I'm radically pro-tamale.

I like how every time Stonetoss does a goofy non political comic about games or anime or whatever there's all these reddit threads with 1000+ replies of baffled redditors trying to find the hidden Nazi symbolism in the phrase "Asuka is best girl."

These people have had their brains so throughly rotted by progressive politics they genuinely cannot conceive of something not being political.

Does this grotesque, ghoulish faggot ever have any exposure to the sun? Would he just die if he were exposed to sunlight?

He is literally the "mayonnaise ghoul" the Negroes complain about all the time.

We grew up just fine*.

* I'm here, so that's debatable

Sex isn't a binary, everyone produces sperm and eggs in varying amounts depending on the pronouns they're using that day. That's why when I look at my wife I don't see a beautiful woman, I see an attractive set of randomly distributed male and female traits whose exact placement on the sex spectrum can only be determined by statistical methods employed by a biologist (preferably with a reddit account)

Imagine getting dunked on by the guy who played the devil on a fujobait tv show that lasted way too long.

Like, what if you want to publicly say nigger (with the hard r) and do that thing where you clap your hands between every word? You totally can if you identify as gender and race fluid. Then you can be a white man again when the cops show up.

I'm telling you, it's a golden opportunity.

'You don't understand Dad! The epic memer Twitter uwu femboy art of a sonic rip off character from the 90s inspired me! It is always a good idea to destroy my body and mind because of twitter art. And if you don't like that, you are a bigot and dead to me.'

Fucking hell

"Also I'm not dead."
Soon you will be, the tranny prophecy must fulfill

Ah yes, the masculine urge to fuck men, why has it never occurred to me

Serial rapist in Oklahoma is arrested and multiple skeletons are found buried on his property. R/SexOffenderSupport reacts:

Serial rapist in Oklahoma is arrested and multiple skeletons are found buried on his property. R/SexOffenderSupport reacts: "I bet he didn't even do it and they're just pinning it on him because he's a sex offender.. It could have been somebody else who did the murders"