random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Betonhaus]

I am not dumb remove the dumb reactions immediately

double nomination

 

[Catboy Ranch Dressing]

As far as I'm concerned, the DSP subforum died last night, and Null killed it.

 

[Sawamura Simp]

I have been stockpiling memes and negative reactions in my basement in case of brutal Kiwi Civil War.

This is the type of investigative autism I love to see.

Agree with you but are you really that allergic to saying Israel

another one, I found it while trying to find the gangnam style cover of "Bomb Tel Aviv"

As you can see from figure 2, acting like a fat faggot with bitch tits online poses a greater threat to your heart than being an obese diabetic nigger does.

 

[Doxmatix]

"Your ass is more important than my whole family. Your ass better than my family."
"I worship your ass. I worship your ass. I worship your ass. I worship your ass. I worship your ass. I worship your ass."
"Wait where is ur ass. I must lick it now. Before I poop on u"
"I will rape you and ur bible"
"It's holy ass. Holy Christian ass. White ass"
Woof woof

- Salah Al-Refae, Foodie Beauty's husband, in texts he sent to a fan

 

[Gentlebastard]

You will not eat the pugs.

Here at the Church of Pat we accept stalker children from all walks of life, regardless if you are a well known author or a first name bunch of numbers. Partake in communion with us as we create cracker sandwiches in Pat's honor.

This Walmart brand Ritz cracker represents our earthly bonds, fragile and salty, which we break as he broke his own bonds.
This homemade pepperoni represents his flesh, ample and sweet, which we eat to honor those sacrificed for Pat.
This Wisconsin cheddar represents his fat, buttery and mild, which we eat so we may be fat like him.

Wipe your mouth with the sacramental Scott paper towel and take this red Solo cup filled with Pabst because it was on sale. Please open up your Bibbles to Book 1 of Children of a Dead Earth, turn to chapter 7 and may we all enjoy prison this Sunday morning.

When the nigger/zombie/whatever apocalypse happens, you can be sure that the survivors will be carrying an SKS and they will be worth their weight in gold.

Alpacaust II: Electric Boogaloo is about to begin.

I woke up in a cold sweat and upset from a nightmare this morning.

Now I can go back to bed with a smile on my face looking forward to a different kind of nightmare, albeit this one more entertaining.

Jack knows only three vegetables: salsa, pizza, and tortilla chips.

Choose better friends, you sedative requiring jetpack junkie.

Troll or retardation? You decide.

 

[World Famous Quasi Payer]

“You cannot expect black women to be perfect and save the world,” Willis said. “We need to be allowed to stumble. We need grace.”

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

Not to get too deep into the golden age of preversion, but I remember when there was a wholeass movie theater for pron near me, where if you wanted to see film of people fucking, you actually had to go and buy a ticket and sit there in a theater with a bunch of other fapping men.

They tore it down and built a Whole Foods.

Very sad cultural loss.

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

I have never been put in the position of operating an implanted erectile device for recreational purposes, but there is no way my internal monologue could be anything but "EEEEEErecting a dispenser *clang* *clang* *clang*" with every pump.

I would still try my best to appear erotically involved, for etiquette's sake.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

out hole mass crp his bird squawking ass save him some journalist in lavi, ruond up. under house AREST. silence fad black to silence death or keep squaking figer he live longer. say stuff. he dead man walking anyway. what confirm the body or funny business may happin in all.

 

[Rotollo 2]

we get it, you really like your yaoi rape.

 

[Chickenpolar]

"Prepare your mind for dilation to be your new religion where you pray with your legs spread and your bottom elevated three or four times a day."

 

[Positron]

In the meantime, prepare your mind for dilation to be your new religion where you pray with your legs spread and bottom elevated three or four times a day.

☪​

 

[Hitman One]

We have descended ass first into the Clown Dimension

 

[Dr. Butt]

you are a woman so ill excuse you for not understanding. the secret is that the tunnel is never finished.

Those dastardly thins. Out here wiping their own butts. The audacity

 

[Magicat]

Patrick Sean Tomlinson said:

Rent free, child.

 

[GunCar Gary]

REEEEE!! MEN PUT SCORPIONS IN MY VAGINA!!!!!

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

You know if you can't attain your goals, you can always lower the bar so that you've already attained them.

 

[RACISM]

When KF goes down, I am going to become a huge lolcow and no one will be able to stop me, because KF will finally be gone. I am going to get so fucking fat and retarded and obnoxious.

 

[Asian tech support]

"The rape slider was a lot of work, for little reward. Since our metrics found that everyone who downloads a werewolf rape mod sets the slider to Ultra-Rape as soon as the game boots".

 

[Gentlebastard]

he sabotages himself yet again with eating whole chickens in one sitting

Either one day he's gonna "child" the wrong nigga or his liver will succumb to the alcohol.

This is obscene. I've seen porn that didn't make me as uncomfortable as this does.

Two beeps means MOAR, one beep means GUD.

I do not want to know how you have acquired such intimate knowledge of negroid mouth flavors.

He is white, lives in the ghetto, and still manages to bring down property values.

too dumb to even be a proper sportsball fan

I was hoping this one had died of sepsis.

Basically, this dude finally realized there's more to sexual pleasure than just destroying their dick and balls but thinks it's a female thing instead of a human thing.

>only you know what's best for you

Ah yes, the heroin addict's charter.

I don't know what sapphic means, but if it's a synonym for closeted bricklayer then yeah he's nailing it.

"Your browser is not able to display this video."

The best thing I've seen come out of tim pool's shows in the past few years.

"Go to hell you stubborn fuck" is a stronger message than "God helps those that help themselves."

I’m glad I’m not the only one who immediately read “Skyrim bestiality rape mod” and thought “troon.”

Please rate me autistic for my awful sense of humor.