random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Aunt Carol]

well you already talk like a fag so you may as well go ahead and start gargling balls.

Wait are you genuinely arguing for the anime harem trope to replace the nuclear family?

 

[Coelacanth]

Ug! Me rape white children? Me get hands cut off back home for this, but me treated as hero here for rape

 

[Tablet County]

I learned something from this thread. Apparently eating Jewish arse is incredibly high in calories and makes you a massively fat fuck.

It's written in academic-speak. They've developed their own bizarre pidgin to avoid having to speak real English like the rest of us.

REAL FASCISTS
PUNCH NAZIS​

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

We are dealing with people who think that writing TRUMP on their own underwear in magic marker, and then shitting in them, makes Trump look bad for having his name smeared in shit, instead of they, who just voluntarily crapped in their pants.......

 

[Aunt Carol]

The winds of change continue to blow a favourable refreshing breeze through Null's feathered bangs.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

I can't believe people are actually answering OP's question.

As if Duolingo would be a bottom with the way it dominates your notifications commanding you to do your lessons. Duolingo bird is 100% a true and honest top.

I usually don't pay attention to this shit but the bird has a dog dick and it's pissing me off.

This guy doesn't even know what bird dick looks like. What a fag.

most birds don't have dicks, and I'm pretty sure none have scrotums
ducks have penises though, because they rape any birds that are vaguely duck-shaped.

I know these things from years of farming.

I guess I never really thought about birds having or not having penises before, but now I've gained this knowledge. Thanks. Thanks for that.

I distinctly remember as a child seeing an episode of dirty jobs where they covered men jerking off turkeys. How is that possible with bird dick?

Talked with a falconry/bird rehab specialist who trained them that his wide-brimmed hat was in fact what they (endangered birds they have for breeding) should fuck. So they'd get it on with his head and just scoop the results out of the brim.

That's the price of knowlege. Now make a willpower save to not loose sanity points.

Can we go back to talking about bird dicks? That was less terrifying.

 

[CansOfCant]

My day today started with a video where a guy was shitting on a diner plate and my day is ending with a video where a guy is eating bunny shit. Thanks Kiwi Farms.

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

Only reason I went there was to find out what people stuck up their butt.

 

[Tablet County]

What is it with Mormons and their love of Facebook? Did ol' Joe Smith write about it in Reformed Egyptian or something?

HOLY SHIT, A GUILLOTINE JUST FLEW OVER MY HOUSE!

SAM HYDE IS FLYING A GUILLOTINE TO HASAN PIKER'S HOUSE

make up a story about your windows PC dying. If they boast about their apple product they're gay. if they suggest a linux distro they're trans.

Gaddafi was a OG.

That man hired around 400 whores just to try and convert them to Islam.

I'm shocked the NHS managed to save this child's life and not decapitate it instead.

So, you guys really don't have botulism over there? Weird, I'll have to send over a load of duck shit to fix that.

 

[RACISM]

"Would be nice if you weren't able to hide behind the anonymity of the kiwifarms and I could just break your jaw to shut you up".

Classic "@Ed Weed".

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

The fact that Null hates to admit, is that Q&A is the backbone of this site. It is the lynchpin holding this whole operation together. Without it, the rest of the forum would surely fall into chaos and disarray. We are Kiwifarms. Every thread, every post, just serves to further reinforce that fact of explicit superiority that Q&A so firmly holds over the rest of the Farms.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

My suspension of disbelief can only go so far when I'm reading my Sonic fapfics.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

If we got the leaders of Israel and Palestine to start Patposting, there might actually be a ceasefire because they’d be too busy calling him a fat pig to bomb each other.

 

[Poonocchio]

Bryan "From the River to the Sea, all troon dicks shall be in me" Dunn

 

[Meat Target]

I just read your username and now fear for my anus.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Is it true that the Nazis would of won WWII if Joseph Goebbels made more Little Dark Age edits?

Yes, if they'd made more edits and produced more fashwave they would have connected with the American youth of the time and forged a transatlantic Aryan Alliance. Historians call this blunder the "cock goebbel" of 42'.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Like jacking off to shotacon torture should probably mean you're not a moral authority on people especially while wildly accusing them of stupid shit.

It's been obvious from the getgo that the majority of Sonic fans are creepy, insane tards

 

[Gentlebastard]

he rapidly devolved into the perpetually oinking homosexual lard golem we know and love

The cognitive dissonance of finding her repulsive because she's a tranny is crashing full speed into his preconception that trannies are perfect beautiful angels, and she's watching his lizard brain suplex his cognition in real time.

Instead of a good old fashioned sword fight, dude shadow boxes the faux schlong. If this isn't bait, it deserves a limited series on AMC.

You can have my milk when you pry the jug from my cold dead fingers

I'm guarding my milk and cheese with FULLY AUTOMATIC 12 GUAGE SHOTGUNS STRAPPED TO MY CATS.

I like my doctors to be made out of meat

Cow milk is garbage anyway and indegistible by humans. What you want is cheese, particularly mold ones.

(This post was sponsored by the Kiwifarms Society of Anticheddarism)

It's all kinky until someone pesters you for sex at the sex party.

I'm using the "Feels" sticker on your post. Please understand this as a digital assualt.

This is the exact kind of person I'd figure would live in an orgy house.

HIV cannot out-evolve PreP fast enough.

I can clock a tranny without even seeing a photo. Once those poorly manicured man paws hit the keyboard, we all know who we're dealing with.

The winds of change continue to blow a favourable refreshing breeze through Null's feathered bangs.

He looks like he's trying out for a hair metal band, and forgot the hair at home.

Forget the hairline, what's wrong with his skull?

Sex club drama is a lot like boardgaming group drama, just with penetration. When you look at the kind of people involved, it's easy to understand why.

On this weeks episode of 'Wypipo don't season dey...' we've got... caprese salad.

they'll never understand how it feels to get your kiwifarms post rated dumb or autistic. That's the true microagression

Your kid sounds based. When is he going to make a KiwiFarms account?

"Water IS wet, but you can't take Hitler's word for it."

The Hog has such a way of turning milquetoaste mild mannered off center left normoids into vigilant patposters it’s borderline supernatural. It’s like if Professor X telepathically condescended you constantly.

 

[Breadbear]

Obviously shes a real man, shes got a stiffie at a 10 year olds party.

 

[Hillary Clinton's Ass]

Man this place has fried me so much I thought the title was a vore reference, fucks sake.