random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

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@Pissmaster context?

Tax:
I saw @Bargain Bin Laden at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

@SiccDicc
How... how big is your belly button?
@Shrekking Crew
got that megabutton
 
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these people have been doxxing people's address, just so you know.
From her profile:
Harass me further on my profile. go for it. the thread lock doesn't mean further contact you know. :|

this is proof you go after me. continue to give me proof, I'm not even posting and you continue harassing me.

I finally have proof of this.
LEAVE ME ALONE!
this PROVES you go after me. what part of I NOW HAVE PROOF OF THIS MATTER DO YOU NOT GET?

I have reported you to staff. leave me the fuck alone.
 
Harry Potter is just British Naruto.

Thank you. This is useful intel.
I will use it to be a more effective bigot.

my rule of thumb is if its a negative thing black people are overrepresented in it

Ketanji Brown Jackson sounds like the kind of name that Chris would makeup when he decides that he wants to include a black woman in Sonichu lore.

Whenever I go on a date I shove a jackfruit down my pants to instill a sense of both wonder and fear.

I fucking hate everyone involved in this but I really fucking hate niggers.

Wypipo don't season their brains.

That's a racial slur I'd never heard before. Kiwi Farms is, as always, a truly educational experience.

I like to make up my own news in my head. It's better that way.

I can't abide by troons. That is all.
 
We're another lifetime or two away from a chip that can force you to click fire hydrants before you can order a McRib.

Of course we should indulge the fantasies of literal schizophrenics. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh my God this German dude is talking in another thread about cloning his dick, and later trying to bend his dick into his new vagina while shoving the clone up his ass. So pornsick he wants to literally fuck himself. You can't make this shit up.

Would you look at that, the journalists lied again. Please try to act shocked.

Dear Lord, please give me the strength not to Fedpost because of how MATI I am right now.

What I would give to find out it was actually an Original Hitler...

i suppose a fellow poster calling me a faggot when i asked "imagine AOC and blaire white tacked on top of one another with their legs behind their ears" is the hate crime of kiwifarms

as a Canadian I'm probably weeks away from being able to be jailed for life for calling someone a Nigger on the Kiwi Farms

The statement wasn't nuanced. It was just retarded.

Too lazy even to microwave a ready meal?

Why should the wider we, as in society at large, give a fuck about their feelings?

It'd be nice if it didn't take societal collapse for people to realize they were being ridiculous.

At least on Kiwi Farms you call me a faggot and we can both move on but over there you can just tell the Predditor has nothing going on for him apart from his bag of cheetos and smarmy fuck-ass updoots.
 
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