random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Black Man Underwear]

I'm very white, and it actually pisses me off a little cus I love brown girls and I think they're pretty

>they don't know about consensual rape

You don't smell like no cigars baby. You smell like piss, shiet, ass and funk.

 

[Skitarii]

You have to put one in each hand though because if you just do one, Detective Colombo is going to be like: "Oh just one more thing, it's interesting that she came at you with a knife in her right hand, when she was left handed."

She looks like she supports Ukraine.

I imagine Josh would love this king of cheese since it's not sourced from America.

Lidl was a BBL sock and Null banned him because he got catfished

 

[Alex Hogendorp]

I am going to DOXX Null for how he's been "behaving" recently. That's right. On his very own site. It doesn't break the rules, so he can't delete it.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

And anyone who uses "lolcow" unironically is a sociopath who should be institutionalized for the safety of everyone around them.

 

[Blindeye]

these "smart" people are legit one of the most retarded people i have ever seen

 

[Click reply to view]

All it takes is one stupid gang member holding an AK-47 for one thing to go wrong

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

"its not true its bullshit i did not hit her i did not! oh hi United States of America!"

ALWAY
REST
YOUR
MEAT

Look, we should not rush to judge UNRWA over this. It could happen to literally anyone. Why, just the other day I discovered an ISIS cell operating out of my spare bedroom. I only found them out because they kept setting my Netflix subtitles to Arabic.

HE THOUGHT IT WAS A GOBLIN!

Hey dipshit, Hope is doing that because she wants you to play with her, or do anything else than being a fat blob that sits and watches Blue's clues all day.

Nah, throw that out the window for a virtue signal about being LGBTQBBQ in the post apocalypse.

How much morphine are they pumping into this prune?

Why does this gay Turkish half-bong-abomination get to escape the perils of a Romanian prison to effortlessly grift off of low-IQ mutts while Coach Red Pill dies of pneumonia in a filthy Ukranian pig sty listening to a glowie troon as he jerks off to his dying gasps? We truly live in the cursed timeline.

The third world isn’t brilliant academics kept down by magical soil genies tied to the land

 

[Coelacanth]

Are you lowkey starting a personal army for trolling the Amish?

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

I'm almost afraid to ask, but how would one know if a cock belongs to Charizard specifically or some other dragon creature? Does Nintendo or some fanboy keep a chart of how various Pokemon cocks canonically look like?

So, today I learned that there is an official design for Bowser's cock, according to Nintendo. Boy, Animal Control sure is a magical place.

 

[Haffhart]

Did lightning strike you in the anus?

Jews, no seriously its unironically Jews.

The darker the people, the darker the prospects.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

His prior attempt at propagating a meme was "grabbing anus cheeks"

 

[Gentlebastard]

"Your honor I would like to bring up Exhibit A, a dogs penis."

“Copyright infringing animal penis” is probably a sentence I never thought I would type, but here we are

Some of his buildings are butt ugly but what can I say, I like a good stained glass window.

I agree, if Jesus was here in 2024 he would have a Kiwifarms account yelling NIGGER.

>Oh boy, my first jury duty! I hope it's a murder! Or a serial killer case! I can't wait to dole out some justice!
> Please direct your attention to this sculpted depiction of a horsecock

The power of autistic obsession was never meant to be given to attractive women.

you need to remember these people are the spiritual successors to hippies. Into nature, drugs, sex, as an excuse to shoot up H on a blanket under a tree.

I only ever saw people bring up Lolita as an excuse to their own stuff - "if that is art, then my Harry Potter raped by Snape is!".

 

[The Pulverizer]

my asscrack is sunburned! but not really
BUT MAYBE REALLY

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Did you know that Varka, the owner of Bad Dragon, e621 and Dragonfruit, a furry online advertisement company, has an alternative Twitter account where he shoves gigantic dildos up his ass?

Fuck that, I want the Supreme Court to rule on this. I want Clarence Thomas to look at the dog dildos and make US case law on what is and isn't a proper rubber dog dick

So this reddit user gets a rando pregnant and fucks up his life royally.

It is a funny read

 

[assigned Karen at birth]

when I get SIX HUNDRED COMMENTS calling me a man I want to swing my fists and I want to cry and I want to curl into a ball and I want to scream and I want to end my own miserable existence.

 

[grenouille crétine]

What kind of nigga names himself Lindwyrm?

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

This weird ass dude wearing a furry Kangol sitting alone in a corner with a sketchbook drawing dudes as they're breakdancing... save some pussy for the rest of us, Eddie.

 

[Tablet County]

I have reached the "bitch eating crackers" phase with Rekieta where at this point just seeing his smug, stupid, drunken, manorexic face makes me mildly MATI.

 

[Terffals]

(and honestly there's only so much Harry Potter mpreg fanart I'm willing to scroll through)

 

[CEO of Gay]

I don't know any queer people (myself included) who wouldn't willingly choose rainbow satan as their mascot.