random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Norbert the Tiger]

I'm the contrarian schizoposter in that sentence you ESL gobshite.

Your eurotrash illiteracy has been a thorn in my fucking side since day one.

Many seemingly plausible and yet totally incorrect thoughts can be generated by a brain soaked with NMDA receptor antagonists.

 

[obsdj]

"Kiwi Farms, a webiste"

[sic]

 

[Black Man Underwear]

@Tsar Nicky

I'm reporting you for terrorist threats, you fucking diabolic shit demon

 

[Laburnum]

"i know things are looking bad right now bud, but let me ask you something, have you ever heard of sonichu? Here watch this short documentary before you do anything rash."

*sends link to GenoSamuel's channel*

 

[NyQuilninja]

HELP THERE'S PISS IN THE AIR AND IT'S CHOKING ME

 

[doodoocaca]

Never underestimate the power of tard armor. Moronic woman judges love sob stories.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

You mother fuckers are the shitty green film that builds up in public toilets.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Reddit: Come for the cats, stay for the most excruciatingly dull men on the planet

Don't have anything substantive to say on a post? Comment anyway! It's open mic night in the adult center and everyone in the audience is retarded too.

 

[Skitarii]

11. all the good Scots left for the New World, leaving behind the dumbs
12. Ireland tricked their dumbs into immigrating to the New World (where they were forced into the Union Army lmao)

if cow tipping is against the rules, giving 20 dollars to JOSHUA CONNOR MOON is a bannable offense, since he is the biggest lolcow on the farms

 

[assigned Karen at birth]

“We don’t want the medical profession to interfere with your wish to be dead,”

 

[Tablet County]

I just popped another two Adderall and snorted a third one, so I'm tweaking hard. I look like a drowned rat and I'm hallucinating ceiling cats.

I use messenger pigeons, they fly between the gaps in Shane's teeth to reach you

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

*the ball turns into a chuzzle and makes chuzzle grunting noises every time the ball is kicked*

Is this one of the famous Kiwifarms ERP chains I keep hearing about?

 

[Johnny Clyde Cash]

I'm trying to achieve greatness in the katana. Is this not allowed in the United States?

Taken from bodycam footage of two cops showing up to a weeb swinging a sword around. Dude later pulls out the katana and charges the cops only to get fatally shot. Will be a great addition to Surviving Edged Weapons Part 2.



Full video available here.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I do like the idea of the dead woman’s womb revolting against its host, clawing its way down and escaping, leaving the troon weeping as he bleeds to death, yet euphoric over having the biggest period known to man. That’ll show those cis bitches.

What’s the point of being non-binary if you don’t bully people over pronouns?

Bonus stinky pooner just to ruin your day:

This is how we get multi drug resistant gonorrhoea.

I understand retconning fictional characters, but retconning your life is just fucking bizarre.

He'll grow up to be either an incel misogynist or a porno connoisseur pervert.

I love this post so much I would gay marry it.

I can hold a grudge, but I can't imagine having such seething hatred over anything for even a a full week let alone nine years.

Jack is no longer watching Will Smith movies after the shocking revelation that he's a gay nigger.

The more educated among us know that redditors aren't actually people, they're hungry ghosts cursed to roam the world in search of fake internet points.

To boomers, the Television is a primary sensory organ.

Slight power level here, but homeless shelters have no obligation to house sex offenders and most of them will reject such applicants outright.

So where did you end up sleeping?

Pretty girls who are really obviously into nerdy shit and work with the public have to put up with more autism than anyone should ever have to endure.

Oh boy another balding Belle Delphine knock-off.

Nothing better than a one-armed retard complaining about other people being "short handed".

What a great country getting arrested for saying mean things on online. Nigger Faggot Retard Kike. USA USA USA.

Why the fuck would you admit that you met your wife during a one night stand?

I know this is disturbing to learn but you have my word that this is 100% confirmed.

 

[Overly Serious]

Systemd advocates should be hunted for sport

 

[Aunt Carol]

If you spend five minutes here and don’t see the ‘tism then I’m sorry but you’re not autistic.

You don’t have to like what an autist does with their ‘tism to see what drives Kiwi Farms.

 

[vomitusdeux]

What would the Hitler particle be? Would it be a boson too? A quark? Some kind of mutant photon? Perhaps a zyklon.

Those people at the Large Hardon Collider should get to work on this.

Why hasn't anyone invited me to a Kiwi murder squad yet?

stop yelling

That is a perfectly normal, aryan behavior

Fun fact- Rawling lives in the White House

10 years later and the only difference between Alex and Chris is that Alex drank his cum without a chaser.

I come from Gypsy heritage and I’m definitely cursing a lot of you.

"So today I'm gonna talk to you about a video game. Escape from T-AAAACK!"

Eggman777 wants someone that looks like eggman taken down? Who writes this shit?

im having some trouble figuring out how some idiot who has a youtube meme account and a bunch of porn accounts crossed swords with a polish guy who thinks the world is ending soon

why does a skeleton have tits

Your tranny cope is very entertaining. Does your dilator still come out covered in shit?

And as he REEs at MLP, he is claiming to be the "reincarnation" of Christ: a guy with vastly more wisdom, and more concern with the salvation of mankind than cartoon ponies.

Toothpaste is cheaper than hrt.

If you live in Canada you should look into applying for the MAiD program.

I asked my black friends on the “BNWO”, I explained to them what it was

There's nothing more wholesome than 2 old men feuding over hentai.

Despite being only 13% of the population, niggers commit 50% of violent crimes.

You're obviously no stranger to eating butt.

They get rid of themselves 41% of the time, all you gotta do is wait.

Needs more huge tits and racism. 3/10

I'm going to go to his house in real life and press my naked bum cheeks against his window until he agrees to make all my ships canon
Checkmate.

*grabs eighth burger, takes bite, burps, and farts*

Is this some new fangled slang for "a furry character that has a shitton of smut of it made"?

Nope. It's exactly what it sounds like: a game where you are a furry anthropomorphic pornstar fucking other anthropomorphic pornstars, camera and all

It starts with Africans who has sex with apes, because they cannot tell them apartheid from their wives

Return to monke (pox)

I wish I could unread a sentence.

ME WANT THE PUNANI SEE FOR MAKE ME NICE

Imagine just being a cat and having an entire bounty put on you with a hit-squad coming after your home just because they think it'd be cool to kill you. But then you get adopted and you're now living your absolute best life.

I think there's better ways to lose weight than getting injections that can make your genitals rot off.

lol leave it to the progressives to hear the word monkey and run screaming nigger. Be kind, indeed.

It’s a fed larping as a Chinese spy.

Love Windows.
Love me Powershell.
Hate Microsoft, simple as.

I like bitches n hos, I just sometimes have that casual sex with anotha brotha fo dominance reasons n shiet. I ain't no fag tho

the bible belt fundies took muh lesbian abortion!

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Taken from bodycam footage of two cops showing up to a weeb swinging a sword around. Dude later pulls out the katana and charges the cops only to get fatally shot. Will be a great addition to Surviving Edged Weapons Part 2.

Should have sliced the bullets in half and then used a flash step to get behind them. Amateur.

 

[Brain Power]

What the fuck even is this shit, my dick just crawled entirely into my body and now I'm a troon. Thanks a lot, asshole.

 

[Positron]

Her feminine energy to help us fly north.