random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

She seems like the type who would be pissed that she can't take nude-belly maternity photos without everyone wondering why her bellybutton is right above her mons pubis.

 

[Jewthulhu]

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Ghostly figures gathering around showing you insane visions and threatening to drag you away with them to some nameless plane of torment. I use to have this problem until I started sleeping with a lumbar support. No shit.

I literally just have a small throw pillow that I tuck under the left side of the small of my back when I sleep. Demonic visions, in my case, seem to be directly tied to my lower back issues.

I love that we have an explicit rule against having threads on politicians but for some reason it's acceptable because we have have somewhere to put our TDs affected liberal posters which the only person I still recognize and when I joined it's Hulk Hogan but you'll never leave because he's an outdated 1990s liberal just like Donald Trump but he's the opposite end where he's convinced all Republicans are literally Hitler even though trump has a track record of being a Ross Perot supporter because that's what he ran on Obama's the biggest criminal who's ever sat in the White House and he should be in jail along with Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush Jeb because he's a dirty block merchant

 

[doodoocaca]

Great idea. Hope he makes a million medallions. Then shoves them up his own ass.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

@zyclonPD

The true not gay power move it to cut the cock off. You can't touch what's not there

 

[vomitusdeux]

Depressing, might as well just make TJ’s story actually Kyle Rittenhouse’s to spare the theme of killing all your friends.

girlcock, not even once.

I hope Josh Moon gets arrested and has his server raided

Jin vapes weed, celebrates pride month with a diaper selfie, talks about his sweaty ass crack, and stuffs his face with pizza and cheese curds.

Probably not smart to admit you have cravings for "Lady" Rackets' used up hole. It's had bottles, ballsacks and God knows what else up it. Hell, after you pull out, your dick might be liable to get arrested for possession.

Edit: just seen the the stinkditch photos, pretend the balls are Joe's

Must suck being a slave to your penis.

If only we'd killed all the birds or made them wear N95s.

Imagine the humiliation of dying in-game to a tranny bullet.

"Dear Reddit, do I pay for troonshine or pride-colored CoD bullets?"

Hey, saw this song called Mountain Dew my hand butterknife

Lady Rackets looks like she's about to call me a fucking Smoothskin with a gravellay voice, and April is a dime a dozen street corner whore

Instagram is horrifically ugly. Sometimes I think, if I were a sleb making big bux, I'd stay away from Instagram because it looks dirty and infected like an unwashed tattooed pooner, and poasting my hypothetical content or products on there would be damaging to "the brand".

"Its a sexual orientation like any other" ma'am I believe "white women fuck dogs" is just supposed to be a meme

Someone light a candle. It smells like bottom surgery in here.

Need I remind everyone, this is the art Homeless Penis draws of herself.

"Lewd Image?" Holy cope, I still have video of Elaine pissing herself and pics of her carving Josh Moon on her goddamn legs and she calls THIS lewd?

Would we even have compatible parts? I don't know if Asians have some kind of mandible arrangement or what....

Okey which somali fucked the swedish wildlife?

Those are made up places. I’m pretty sure a girl I dated in high school had Bulilima.

Damn, it looks like he told his surgeon to make it look like he still had a dick.

No stalker child, I WILL moralfag and there's nothing you can do about it.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

If you're a societal deadweight you should be mocked, ridiculed, and ultimately culled

You're most likely a societal dead weight yourself considering the site you're using.

---

please pay me back 20 reddit karma for tricking me to read this shit.

 

[Doxmatix]

Radiologists are like vampires in the medical field. You don’t know if they actually exist, but if you see one as a patient, you might be fucked.

I'm sure that people pay Gordon Ramsay so he can sit his ass at home answering if he ever punch a bee for the 40th in a row.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

She looks like a fortune-telling pedophile.

 

[PandaChai]

I hardly watch porn these days and haven't in years, my personal morals (and anti-semitism) are not compatible with it anymore.

 

[Tablet County]

Anime slaps, coke and speed.

He looks like a pencil eraser and a pedophile in this image.

And here's a paraphrase of Harmful Opinions regarding that faggot who made that hit-piece on Wendigoon.

You're just a wankoff who knows the right words to say but your thoughts aren't connected to those words correctly. The same way a pigeon can learn to press a button to get a treat, you've learned the right words to say in the right order to get treats, you're not actually a person.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Today I can download any first-run movie within a few weeks of them being in theaters and I can watch them at home in better quality than the shit theaters in my area. I can also pause the movie to smoke a cigarette or get food that I made myself or bang the girl I invited over. You couldn't even get a handy in the theater without some faggy little usher shining his gay little flashlight at you. Fuck theaters.

 

[Gentlebastard]

BREAKING: Free Palestine protesters block Philly Pride Parade

This sounds like the start of a Monty Python sketch.

How is this person allegedly an adult and still writing "ur"?

She should have her head shaved in the public square for that alone.

It's retards all the way down

Guys, I don't smell of leather and aftershave. Am I even a real man?

It's truly a tribute to our capitalistic society that we're so filthy rich we can overfeed whatever this thing is, and just let it live. It's like the "america worships niggers until they receive massive medical care" meme or something.

Oh come on, Australia's got far more tranny-fucking footballers than any other country in Eurovision.

gee retard i can only wonder why a bunch of dudes with porn addictions are all into the same thing you, a dude with porn addiction, are into

He goes from looking autistic, to looking autistic and retarded.

he was unhinged and everything he said was like something out of a comedy skit about a serial killer

Seeing a loving father being protective of his daughter enraged the pig and his first thought was “I hope my daughter gets fucked real good by as many dicks as she wants, chud!”

Harl Hortler my fellow yahtzees

This looks like the coolest thing ever.

A younger version of myself would sperg endlessly about this.

I hardly watch porn these days and haven't in years, my personal morals (and anti-semitism) are not compatible with it anymore.

What biology class did you fail? Humans lose all gender when naked. That’s why babies have to be assigned male or female at birth - until someone puts a pink or blue outfit on them, it’s anyone’s guess what they are, and even then it isn’t always right. Observe yourself the next time you have a shower. If you’re lucky the dysphoria will crash over you, your egg will crack and maybe you won’t be so transphobic and ignorant, girlfriend.

Niggers, Mr Harada. It's because of niggers.

Waffle House will stay open for all but the worst natural disasters, or in the case of a city near me, the after bar crowd on the weekends.

Call me old fashioned, but if you (male) enjoy getting rammed in the ass by a phallic object, you're probably big gay.

If you were around during Encyclopedia Dramatica's heyday, you might remember lolcows who wrote fanfics like "Harry Potter gets raped to insanity by a pedophile werewolf but is miraculously cured by Draco Malfoy's cock" (back then, those were notable lolcows, now it's Tuesday)

 

[The Un-Clit]

I just need everyone to know how much fucking anatomically correct semen filled horse vagina, anatomically correct horse buttholes, engorged nipples on pregnant mares, and the like that I had to go through to get a lot of the content that I did. I suffered to help make the thread quality.

 

[Pissmaster]

Music is overrated. 5-10 minutes of it once a month is more than enough.

 

[Drip Torch]

DA J0000ZE STOLE MAH 4SKINZ!

 

[Diesel Boogaloo]

People say that God doesn't punishes people twice, but in your case he did it four times. You're a faggot, a nigger, a retard and British. Probably fat too.

 

[Harm]

A montage of female news anchors, wearing pastel-toned jackets, utter the word "Balldo" approvingly in chorus.

Kyle from Nickelodeon orders 100,000 Balldos in the colours of the trans flag, for Gay Pride Month.

From her prison cell, Lara Croft accuses him of culturally appropriating the Balldo from the Mayans.

 

[Aunt Carol]

sorry can't hear you losers over the sound of my big beefy jade plant and its shiny ass leaves.

The community cannot be trusted to make decent hats, I would never trust them with the source code.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

By the way, has American Vito Gesualdi commented on Spanish Vito Gesualdi getting smacked around like a pleading mackerel?