random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[KiwiFuzz2]

*Turd polishing noises intensify*

anyone who can write this is not a real person and should be eaten like vegetables

Jazz's (man)boobs are a separate entity with their own set of physics rules. I stopped asking questions about them long ago.

(This is going to random_txt, isn't?)

 

[DoNotFeedTheSneed]

You disingenuous, primitive, acephalous, troglodyte BASTARD.

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

I’d like to have the rabbi who sniffed my formerly hasidish friend’s underwear at the end of each month in order to make sure “her period was over” to explain the Talmudic background behind that practice.

I never thought I could potentially live to see a hot war between the diarrhea siblings though.

Imagine getting doxed on the Farms because you sperged about your battlestation in a designated ****ting thread and didn't hide your pony sextoys plushies.

And no this isn't a racial thing, I've seen random Haitian women with better facial structure. She looks like a trans Dora the Explorer.

If a swastika boy poos his pants in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

> Who is Aaron and why am I looking at him in bed giving me sexy eyes?

were you born an adult or

He probably got pulled over because the TSA thought his disproportionately small head meant he was hiding bombs in his coat.

Apologies if I'm late and gay but I've searched the forum and perused like 12 pages now, and have not seen it mentioned.

Joe Biden may have butt cancer.

Tough luck, Bollywood Sammy Sosa.

Why did 86 afraid of 7 when you 86 in the cold food of 7 hot eat the food?

"I hope they have makeup wipes in prison."

 

[Admiral Throbnelius]

Nice projection, centrist, but you are the eunuch queer here.

 

[Mister Baranavichy]

I fear the user was fully redeemed.

 

[CaddestSlown]

MMMM MUZZIE CUM.

Psych meds calcify your pinal gland and your pet would tell you to kill the globalists unless the Clintons got to it first

 

[DoNotFeedTheSneed]

Y-you're not a retard... no.... you're better than that!

 

[Gentlebastard]

you already look like a bitch, do you want this to confirm it even more?

I can't think of another group of people so debased and disgusting with such a constant, unwavering pride that is so totally repudiated by simple observation.

And another thing, they're ugly.

Whats on your mind? Is it dicks? Its dicks isnt it

Sources report that Henry Kissinger's last words before God ripped his spirit from his body were "Please just let me bomb Cambodia one more time"

The meltdown would be incredible. Please god, let it happen. It would be SO GOOD.

I like you guys. You better not come to the world tomorrow.

"This alcohol is contaminated with water at approximately 60% by volume"

Is this Presley guy retarded or something? I only ask so I can know if I can call him a tard without feeling guilty.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's never discount the horniness of the jeets.

Ah, back in the day he was narcissistic, constantly throwing himself pity parties and totally lacking in self-awareness. Look how far he hasn't come...

I forgot this whole shitshow was over SEVEN to ELEVEN likes holy fuck

I get more likes than that on shits I leave for the poopsmith to find

"Here's your chicken sandwich. Have you ever considered being a prostitute?"

We're happier than a nigger with a freshly stolen bicycle.

"This recipe looks horrible and gross... Better make two gallons worth"

 

[legtard respecter]

he went around and literally picked up a ton of trash in inner cities. Good solid dude (other than being gay) from all i've seen from the dude. He might be a total scumbag that fucks kids, but I have never really heard anything remotely bad about the guy.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Hitler's Birthday Joint would be a good username

did i seriously cream my panties because i talked about transformers for 3 hours?

Spoiler: source

View attachment 7347574

 

[Tablet County]

Sorry, I don't see anything autistic about Peter Gabriel dressed as a sunflower?

Science experts have discovered why people hate obnoxious know-it-alls: because we're just so wonderful!

It's not always top down multi ethnic jewish globalist elite psyop propaganda from niggerhell.

 

[Space Police]

Zeta flagellants who like jerking off with astromech droids.

 

[Guns of the Gaytriots]

Pathetic first worlder.

 

[Tablet County]

Marie Kanker and Plank are a more popular ship than I would have guessed

For some reason The Raped laughing so hard at that retarded subway sandwich video makes me mad.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

did they puke on their poop before they ate it?

 

[Aunt Carol]

The logistical challenge of carrying all this hate requires a superfreighter and brother I don't have enough crew to run the ship.

They both look like they were sentenced to wear those skirts by a creative Judge, after they were convicted of burning down a fancy dress boutique.

 

[Eadred]

Marrying third and fourth cousins has been scientifically proven to produce healthier children

 

[Pee Cola]

From a PowerPoint presentation given by Russell Greer to Winnemucca City Council on 6 May 2025 as part of his campaigning to expand legalized prostitution in Nevada:

Spoiler: Context

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Real life is not like the disgusting babyfur porn he jerks off to, there are actual consequences to this kind of disgusting behavior.

 

[Tablet County]

Everybody's like "the zoloft made him a zombie" bitch zoloft is the pussy shit. It's the shit they give to white girls and neets for "mild anxiety." It's the Glass Joe of SSRIs.

Nigga bouta turn into Plank from Ed Edd 'n Eddy

Imagine lying crumpled on asphalt, bleeding out, trying and failing to look down because you don't realize your neck is broken, and the last thing you hear as the sting of blood forces you to shut your eyes forever is WHOOOOAAAA BUDDY *dingalingalingaling*

HE'S DENTED! HE'S T-BONED! HE'S FUCKING DEAD!

Sara Potter / Cooking with Simply Sara (Cause of death: FAT)