random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Crex Crex]

>V-tuber watching femboy autistic fedposting Neo-Nazi

I'm 62, disabled with heart failure and COPD and bad knees and a limp and a gunshot wound and I got a bumb eye and there's a crick in my neck and my asshole itches and my back is doing that twitching thing that kinda tickles and my wife got prostate cancer and my dog runaway with my tractor and I got a tear in my whiteclaw

Starts a war in the middle east, then flees back to the land of maple syrup. Such a Cutie move.

Money like this should only go to true &/or honest racists

This country is so fucking gay holy fucking shit

Indian man tries to be black > Proceeds to act like a gay retarded nigger who loves HIV+

My profile picture is Warwick Davis about to be sent to a death camp.

 

[Random Internet Person]

I fear we may never be free from the hell that is people obsessing over the cats.

 

[Dr. Butt]

You never want to be in the black waters of the ocean's midnight zone. If you are, though, it's probably good to be a gonate squid.

 

[Glory To Arztotska]

Why does throwing your bottled piss and shit at the spoopy ghosts kill them again?

 

[Delany's Donkey]

voting for right to repair means you want women getting raped.

 

[CallmeCicada]

@The Devil going to be phoneposting a lot

 

[Gentlebastard]

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Come for the sensible takes, stay for the virulent racism.

I've met my best friends, the most wonderful romantic partners and the guy I got my cat from, because when I was a teenager I teased a retarded man while wearing a pickle suit.

I am only a Schizo because the world has gone so insane that every time I make a joke about something being a secret insane conspiracy it turns out to be true.

I can believe it's not AI, I really do think he really does look that fucking horrible.

No one will believe us when we say 7/11 food used to be edible.

Imagine if he put that much effort and attention into being a productive member of society.

This case is so awful I kinda hope it's all a lie and this is just a troll, but sadly, it's probably real...

If I talked like that with my friends I'd be thrown in a looney bin.

Bees are our friends. Anyone who hates bees is no friend of humanity and needs to be put down like a mad dog. Or put in a Wicker Man cage and have a swarm of Africanized bees unleashed on him.

the type of guy that prostitutes would pay to go away

The neurons in his brain that govern personal integrity, consistency and reasoning are permanently dead, if they ever existed at all, and all he's left with are whatever specific rage or glee he's feeling right this nanosecond with no thought as to if it conflicts with any other thought he's ever had, then it vanishes like a piece of cotton candy in a swimming pool.

2S: Two spirit, fake Indian(feather, not dot) gender shit.
T: Tranny
BG: Big Guy (for you)
N: Nigger
C: Cuck
+: Disney+

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I say nigger on instinct when I get shot in a video game. Women get on my level.

You're a gorilla monkey on a typewriter

I'm probably going to get my postmarking privileges revoked because I wanna highlight every clip @Breadbassket shares of wetbacks getting run over and gassed.

HE HAS EATEN

Jews and blacks make a more eloquent argument for physiognomy being real than I ever could

do not be deceived by the big booty spicy latinx, they last about twelve seconds before turning into la goblina

Pizza bites are not gonna do it. I need some actual pizza for these lukewarm riots streams.

Yeah, I bet Trump started this, wearing a sombrero and a fake mustache being like “Eyyy essey. We need to like, make America Mexico again and bring back good things like Santana and that chica who sang the sweetest taboo. Let’s get some modelos and start to like, burn things, hombres!” To distract America from the thing they already knew about years ago.

That’s shit straight from Sun Tsus art of war.

Of course a Bongistani peasant would love Mexican food, it's basically beans on flat toast.

I am pretty sure Mr. Beast is the originator and when he finds himself at the gates of hell I hope Satan says, "It is because of the thumbnails not the child rape."

EDIT: Actually I thought about it for another minute and take that back. Fuck Mexicans.

I like to imagine the Founding Fathers gazing down from Heaven, frowning slightly, as they realize the final result of democracy and liberalism was a morbidly-obese brown woman squawking about public issues she's entirely incapable of understanding, all in the public square while jewish-owned soldiers watch on.

seriously, FUCKING dinosaur FUCKING costume FUCKING bitch has totally sold me on the joestream

You would never give a lecture to the 19th century Royal Society on Pajeet Lolcows, but you could give one on the Taxonomy of the Subcontinentals.

"I don't just eat shit because it is there, but sometimes I do have to consoume it."

I'm usually not the best at seeing through troon disguised but I'm pretty sure that's Ozzy Ozbourne

Communists and anarchists are getting the shit kicked out of them live and you want to get into a slapfight about Jews? Get your shit together.

A minor but culturally impactful thing to mention about WW1: a stray bullet could have taken Tolkien from us. Who knows how much never came into this world from the death of someone who never had their opportunity to breathe creation into their life's work.

This crowd should all die though. They are not capable of creating works that will be remembered for centuries.

Make me mayor. I'll do it:

"You goddamn beaners need to knock it off. Don't think I didn't notice not a single one of you motherfuckers was flying the American or even the Californian flag.
So here's what we're going to do now. I am using my executive mayor powers to create what I'm going to call 'Chavez's speedrun'. For every illegal you turn in and successfully deport, we're going to issue special California greencards to the family member of your choice.
No, you can't stack them.
No, you can't use them to get a deported person back in.
Yes, citizen's arrests are allowed.
Yes, Indians count but only as half a wetback. They're gonna be two-for-one."

And now we are at the part of the featured thread where the thread becomes stupid.

I'm tired friends. I don't want to be dead anymore.

Someone please explain this in football terms

What compels someone who looks like this to ever take a picture of xeirself?

 

[UnFuNnYmEmE]

yup Americans are stupid epically shoes on kf

 

[Dr. Butt]

i am brutal in ways i do not intend to be

 

[Preacher ✝]

I HAVE A PENIS THINK ABOUT MY PENIS IN YOUR MIND

 

[Dr. Butt]

I'd expect to pull my schlong out and have it looking like parasitic maggots are infesting it or some shit. Go to an African veterinarian to get treated for mango worms because no US doctor has the required experience. Have 'em miss one and wake up in the middle of the night to a wriggling sensation in my pecker as a 2-inch fly comes bursting out. Get identified as Patient Zero for the biggest joint CDC-USDA investigation this side of bird flu. Die and have men in full hazmat gear haul my body off to a crematory capable of rendering prion diseases inert.

 

[vomitusdeux]

you had to sell your house bud the BO and tonsil stones are the least of your worries

I wake up every day praying I don't have a pink triangle next to my name or that I don't have my 3DS friend code phonebooked on the farms. Ya'll niggas are ruthless.

Really, we wonder what could drive the devil to kill himself and it will be when they start dying and going to hell.

i DONT. FUCK. HORSES

When did neo-Nazis become so inclusive. Satanist nazis, troon nazis, black nazis...we need a complete shutdown of National Socialism until we figure out what the hell is going on.

How the fuck can you be a nazi and a femboy at the same time? Like pick a side bro. Ain't no hybrid classing here.

Looks like his ideology was Anarcho-Nazi Goonerism

"Like Daddy used to say, the only good Nazi is a deatrans Nazi!"

Who actually creates a fucking LinkedIn for their 7-11 cashier job

There's literally an image of him shitting, the chastity cage is the least of your worries.

Can you even begin to understand how hard it is to be visibly Jewish in New York City?

Try to at least PRETEND to be neurotypical.

I was absolutely convinced that EmoBoyFucker69 fucked horses before today, but now, thanks to testimony from @applehearts I now know that that was a vile, slanderous lie. I STAND WITH EMOBOYFUCKER69, they are a TRUE & HONEST non-horse-fucking individual! FUJOS RISE UP!!!!

This was great, I didn't have to see any of the pony porn Colton would retweet.

how do they even collect the tard dog spooge?

Yeah whyteboi, we finna scientifically methodologize all up in dis bitch nigga

Let's make our kids grow up to be neurotic busybody wrecks because some chick with a diploma said so.

This analogy is so forced it's pressing rape charges.

Am I looking at a man or a woman here? Fuck, it's so hard to tell with niggers.

 

[EllenDrawsRapeOfHerHaters]

I should not have lit myself on fire as it's not going to solve anything.

Zachthephoenix on TikTok

 

[Gog & Magog]

Apparently anti-pickle moralists are part of the reason why we currently have school lunches.
The pickle part seems anti-Jewish, but the pork immediately contradicts it.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Smh you don't need to goon to every scantily clad anime girl.

I dunno, the idea of Uran as someone's wife sounds disturbing. Not because she's got the body of a child, but because she's known to break stuff.

Yeah well call yourself "James" all you like, my cock is still going up your vagina and I'm still calling you a slutty little fuck whore while I fuck you in your pussy and rape you and totally misgender you just to add to the fun.

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

I've paid my dues, so fuck the Jews.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

It's penis inspection month.

I think the Jews are OK. I know everyone on the farms hate them, but no Jew ever called me a nigger retard...

Unless they did and I didn't hear it. Or they had their golems do it. Although, one did take my foreskin, and I'm pretty upset because while I like the look, my showers are pretty boring, and I feel like cleaning the foreskin would be a very zen thing.

The black kids kept sagging. Every time sagging comes up, I always wonder why they continued to sag. I guess there are many, many better questions that remain unanswered.

You cannot fathom the reason for the things they do, because they also don't know.

If the crackhouse isn't within walking distance of a Whole Foods, keep driving.

art museums are the last bastion of whiteness left in the world.

they're all fucking unprotected as shit, there's nothing stopping you from just walking up and rubbing your dick on 90% of famous artwork on display

the museums like it that way, they fucking HATE having to even put up little velvet ropes (it's so... gauche) and encasing something in lexan or glass is, well, nigger-tier

Chicken wing chicken wing hot dog and bologna
Chicken & macaroni, killing all the homies

Silence, pink triangle!

Ever heard the saying, "Does a bear shit in the woods?"

A bear is a man who will shit on your wood. (Your penis is the wood)

Was it safe to release that snake? Now that he has a taste for penis he may attack again

That and the power of child sewer gangbangs.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I might be biased because I’m A) attracted to women and B) attracted strictly to the living, but none of that seems appealing.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Laughing about being a domestic abuser.
I suppose that is pirate behavior.