random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Aunt Carol]

China created the worst possible dating market in history.

you don't fucking run from this shit.
it follows your ass and gives you a reach around when you're trying to sleep at night.
There is no running Bitch, you've opened pandora's shitbox and it's filled with manmade horrors.
Maximum Eternal Suffering.

what kind of prostitute brings a whole ASS melon to fuck someone?
unless that fucking thing is going up someone's ass, that's a Love melon
WATERMELON IS LOVE IN CHINK CULTURE. YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT

This shit SCREAMS:
"I'm just some lonely chink bug man that's about to fuck a dude in a dress, here's a fucking melon"

FUCK EVERYTHING (NOT IN A GAY WAY)

Has she come to terms with the fact she's retarded yet?

I thought he said he was dying 2 weeks ago
what in the diabetes is this

I am not 100% sure what a cat looks like I was drawing from memory

The devious idea I had was what if a new model was trained on Cats' works? Perhaps that would open a wormhole to the cat dimension?

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

y'all lowkey sleeping on Roblox porn

 

[Jhonson the Two]

Niggers, you dont GET to develop a sense of humor when its convenient.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

One thing that pissed me off was all of the furry dickriding.

 

[Spectate]

The house always wins.

 

[Speedrunner]

Those teeth are so yellow not only do they make lemonade, they could make an entire fucking lemonade stand

 

[Glory To Arztotska]

So then the rapist can chimp out and beat you to death for catching his dick in a yuuzhan vong marital aid, smart.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

"I swear to fuck, this is the last time you scratch a company car! We're sending you to Guangzhou!"

if you don't watch your mandatory 100 hours of gay Chinese sex I'll be forced to get a mod

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

OK so obviously as a follower of this thread I love dunking on these people. But I have never known any personally. Its one of those things I only ever really experience vicariously through the internet like pooners and reply guy anime profile schizophrenics.

But today it became real.

Two thing I want to say on that.

First, I pray for your safety. Have the good lord by your side during your darkest days. Second, holy shit the mental image of reading this in Zorak’s voice from Space Ghost is now forever engrained in my mind. I cannot unsee this as an actual skit from the show.

Are they doing meth while there? Sounds like quality family time

Wouldn't it be morbidly horrifically funny if Anakin Sky Walker grew up to be a school shooter?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=lBbQg8r8tdc

So a few hundred alpacas starved to death - big whoop! At least these lovely ladies didn't get misgendered, that's what's important here <3

I am shamed to admit that I know a genuine Disney adult. His kids know mine; so we have that “parent of the children” type Of relationship.

Do you know how uncomfortable it is sitting in his lounge as he starts to talk about it? I’d rather sit on the Iranian Border at night wearing a neon suit with “fuck allah” around a blinking aiming cross than be in that lounge room.

As I am addressed he points to his prized Lego construction with all seriousness - he is a little perplexed that I am not utterly aware of its significance and that I must be living under a rock.

Really, we wonder what could drive the devil to kill himself and it will be when they start dying and going to hell.

View attachment 7516989

When did neo-Nazis become so inclusive. Satanist nazis, troon nazis, black nazis...we need a complete shutdown of National Socialism until we figure out what the hell is going on.

Say what you will about the French (like them being french)

Getting featured for what? Surviving an encounter with a Demilich? Looks like a wax figure that get left out in the sun a little too long.

What a cute goblin. I hope she doesn't follow either of her parents footsteps.

Not in war. I will bury my blood enemies in deluxe mattresses and feral, semitic crows.

His reddit avatar alone makes me want to use his skin as a coat, like the ancient norwegians did!

HE'S CUCKED
HE'S RAPED
SHE'S A WHORE
IT'S FUCKING DEAD

Guns are useful. Funko Pops are not.

Everyone here feels like a Josh Moon today.

No good deed goes unpunished

>Tranny
>Makes themselves the center of attention for no fucking reason

Wow no way

 

[neger psykolog]

DarksydePhil doesn't exist. He never existed. You are experiencing a schizoid embolism. He has always been a figment of your imagination. You need to wake up.

 

[Overly Serious]

Not having a dictionary doesn't prove that Ukrainian isn't a real language, it just as well proves that its speakers are illiterate.

 

[TheArtilleryman]

so now I have a golfbag glock.

 

[Oliver Onions]

I love that you're afraid of a KF user moving to the fuckin Congo specifically to steal your get rich quick scheme

Those omelets sell themselves but don’t you fucking try it buddy.

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

I often wish I could work out naked and gaze upon the sweaty, sculpted bodies of other men.

I met my wife during a golden age where I would basically just say racist things and she would assume I was being sarcastic/ironic.

 

[Crex Crex]

Gay pedo beansmile trash.

I like rape.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I never would have guessed that the Kiwifarms meme thread's civil war would begin over muscle mommies, but I sure as hell am not complaining.

Her parents were cousins and their parents were also. Her children will have 4 legs and 6 toes and a room temp IQ.

The iPad and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race

You can only say "stop being a retard in public" so many times. Though it is fun.

Like I get lying on the internet. I do it all the time. Usually to cover my tracks and to avoid getting profiled and doxxed but that's besides the point. But at the very least try to keep your lies straight or lie for a good reason.

My favorite is when they say "I've survived multiple suicide attempts". The only reason why they aren't killing themselves right now is because they haven't found a way to farm updoots from the afterlife.

 

[IrishGuy088]

The Sims Online is probably a sex pest iceberg.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

If we don't have a nice juicy triple murder every now and then the public would riot.

I see the work of my fellow graduates from the Maxis Institute of Engineering and Infrastructure

Seems like this is something where AI could help. Just give him unlimited AI women to harass and talk about feet to and jerk off too.

Soon AI will replace even sexual harassment victims. A sad state of modern affairs. Uncle Ted right again.

I've also heard complaints that feet bros are extremely demanding and arrogant, even in non-fetish related matters, and are in general just a pain in the ass to interact with no matter the situation.

Why do it? Because there is no orgasm like an anal orgasm from getting pegged with a huge strap-on dildo.

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

This nigga lookin' ZESTY, this nigga lookin' MOIST, he's got sugar in his tank, he's light on his feet, he's a Ill bit fruity, he plays for the other team, he dances at the other end of the ballroom, this nigga theatrical, this nigga good with colors, this nigga gonna coordinate yo curtains wit you cushions and that shit gonna look good! This nigga lifts shirts, this nigga on the down low, this nigga be a tollet trader, this nigga gardens uphill, this nigga packs fudge, he's a friend of Dorothy, he feels the love that dare not speak Its name, he loves to dance, he's of the Uranian brotherhood, he indulges in the French vice, he has an antipathic sexual Instinct, he's fluent in Polari, he's a refugee from Sodom, he's on the wrong bus, he bats for the other team, he's temperamental, he's 'one of if you catch my drift.

 

[Law]

Dumbass that's the wrong leg, the one with the broken toes. Shows us the other one, the baloon one