random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Markass the Worst]

obsessed, also literally what is the issue with showing your cock to someone on the internet?

 

[Rapesputin]

The secret to rape is mindfulness. Don't think too much about who and where and when you will rape. Just embrace the here and now and wait patiently for the rapee to come to you. Be like the elegant mantis perched on the majestic orchid blossom. Sit in quiet meditation and strike when the moment feels right.

 

[Ericson]

"Maybe if they let me bring my weed pen and my hi-fi music setup to the psych ward then I would go willingly."

https://old.reddit.com/r/evilautism/comments/1m21ta9/i_wish_there_were_autism_friendly_psych_wards/

Spoiler: The Post:

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

Crazy chick attacks crazy chick over cock flattening, many such cases.

 

[Spectate]

Great, this faggot wants to rape gorillas too.

 

[Aunt Carol]

we all hate men but some of us hate niggers too

NEWS FLASH: SAUCE IS FREE RETARD.

Come to think of it, the Bible doesn't say anything about proofreading.

 

[Haloperidol]

I speak English to men, French to women, and gibberish to my cats.

Have a nice day at the gay porn factory or whatever.

you hanes wearing broke bitch

A manry tamago has been released into her duderus

 

[Vibralldo]

"It wasn't UP my ass." – Nicholas Rekieta, 2025.

 

[Tablet County]

Europeans horrified, foaming at the mouth, pissing, shitting, weeping and gnashing teeth as American does literally anything.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

There's probably a story to be told about the rot in the publishing industry, but I don't think it revolves around whether "Femoid" will be published at Calamari Archive or McBussy Publishing.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Pooners do not scare me. I have the power of God and anime on my side!

She'd never share the limelight with an asian man, she's a leader! A prophet! An educator! A loonie!

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I have a friend who also reads KF and he and I talk about Chris and Rekieta like normies talk about the Kardashians. I should tell his wife that he is not a straight man.

8/10 schizo post, you need to blame the gangster computer god.

Now the last time I touched a pair of tits was back in 2018 at a strip club so it's been awhile, but even still, I don't remember them having the same level of "bounce" as Gmod props

It's just Cookie Clicker but ass.

What did you feed your wife while she was pregnant?

Some of the worst tans I’ve gotten were on cloudy days.

Do you have babies? I have seen my own very sweaty babies.

I have enough kids to know a sweaty two month old when I'm holding one.

IM FAT, I LIKE CHEESE rant aside

I think a judge might be OK with the futanari incest.

 

[Tablet County]

He had a bottle between his cheeks.

He had a bottle IN HIS ASS.

There was a bottle and it was IN HIS AAAAASSSSSSSS!

 

[Xev]

I raped that cat so hard, he was sent to the 9th dimension.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

She has massive tits. This might be relevant later.

Looks retarded and cringe. I'll probably try it.

Watch Sex Junk and tell me with a straight face that a just and fair God exists.

i have spent thousands of dollars on harddrives specifically so people can upload shit.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I personally am normal as fuck.

With or without husbands, the future is cat.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

"I'm FEELING UNREQUITED LOVE in this scene"

Eh, I'm kinda on team chicken here, but I'm willing to change if the counter-argument is funny enough.

 

[Drip Torch]

Oh well my iq is Actually only 90 but thats noot my fault since i am mentally 13 and i do age regress omseimes which is kinda happening now

 

[Aunt Carol]

Like anything truly American, he is fat and retarded.

Some days I yearn to hang out in dark fields under the veil of stars in the hopes that aliens mistake me for a cow and take me away from this stupid planet.

 

[Lurkey Turkey]

I really fucking hate how they use cute UWU anime girls for everything they make btw. Like no Bob you don't look like that, you never will look like that, you are an OBESE BALDING MIDDLE AGED MAN!!!!!!!!