random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Kill a Troon for Pikamee]

It’s everything. Everything demonstrates retardation.

 

[Antipathy]

Furries are very cool people who are passionate about their lives, fantasies and just want to be at peace.

 

[Chapstick4Lyfe]

"did you know my life is such a trainwreck that groups of strangers document it for entertainment purposes" seems like a more reasonable way to pose the question.

 

[NyQuilninja]

I like the browse the internet like I have sex - without protection.

Hey stop that! Pig is haram

Can a cop sneed?
This is a metaphysical question

 

[Tingle]

(...) the artist who made this piece specializes in Family Guy hentai, while the person who commissioned it has an interest in diapers and age-regression art.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

God doesn't want me to tell you this but if he puts it up your pooper you don't go to heaven

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

I can tell by the amount of money this was a Nigerian or pajeet. It was probably butt stuff. Teens always kill themselves over butt stuff.

That’s why I always CC my friends and my family whenever I send butthole pics.

 

[Shitty User Stole a Good Name]

Oh look, it's a single webpage that says niggerfaggot.

Whatever you want to call it. I always destroy the crapper the following morning.

i aaaam a stealeeeer
i steaaaaaal furniture
when i steaaaaal the furnitureeee
i dont give it baaaaaack.

from a certain PM chain

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

from a certain PM chain

If this is the PM chain that gets HHH incredibly MATI, can I join?

 

[Shitty User Stole a Good Name]

If this is the PM chain that gets HHH incredibly MATI, can I join?

i'll invite you

 

[KiwiFuzz]

COMBOVER VIAGRA DOCTOR
COMBOVER VIAGRA DOCTOR
COMBOVER VIAGRA DOCTOR
COMBOVER VIAGRA DOCTOR
COMBOVER VIAGRA DOCTOR

 

[kazuhiro]

I'm much more interested in the legal/financial/social aspects of this dude's ass than the ass itself.

I really wish I hadn't seen that butthole. But I only have myself to blame.

 

[MediocreMilt]

section

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Super lesbians best lesbians

 

[NyQuilninja]

“How can I be a pedo when I’m mentally three years old? It’s natural and beautiful.”

"Make sure the tiger has six arms and eight boobs, okay Mom?"

I remember my grand-dad once described someone as too dumb to dig a post-hole. I thought wow, that's really, really dumb. Is anyone actually that dumb?

Apparently, yes.

Maybe if he got rid of that yee yee ass haircut he'd get some bitches on his dick.

"You're all biased and blinded by hate and I am a bastion of virtue."

Draw a webcomic about how virtuous and correct you are and stick it up your asshole.

It's terrible when racist cops arrest black people committing crimes solely because they're black, instead of just letting them commit crimes.

"If someone is alert and making sense, how can they be intoxicated?"

"They can't, sir."

Sir, the existence of KiwiFarms proves you wrong.

I admit I should care but I lost the actual ability to care years ago. Now I just want fire and burning and getting to watch it. Yes, this makes me a bad person. I'll have to live with that, I suppose.

I'm worse; I hold state employees to a standard above "drooling violent retards".

The man the myth the legend said it himself on that tragic day "I CAENT SNEEEEED!"

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Everyone who plays ponyfuck Uno loses.

 

[Antipathy]

That tattoo will be a great conversation piece:
“Oh that’s a beautiful flower why’d you get it?”
“It was my brother’s favorite flower, I got it in memory of him”
“Oh im so sorry. How did he pass?”
“Eating himself to death for a fetish.”
“Oh...”

Lol, of course it's a fat chick who loves abortion

Gluttony, lust, sloth, greed, etc...dude was a sin unto himself.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

The female version of the random text "there are sticky lint like objects..." courtesy of @Spermatozoa

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

gosh i think i might

They'll get my pronouns when they pry them out of my cold dead fist.

Good to know, my kosher friend. Wouldn't want a useful initiative like this be drowned out by Chinese greed.

This is so tiresome.

I think my autism just mutated from this exchange.

Waiting on line for Chinese food because it's between two slices of bread is some Bill Dauterive shit.

Lovequest-era Sonichu medallion.

Who is bigger? Do they take turns?

I hope it does, fuck feds, fuck informants and fuck the Proud Boys. Everybody there is a brightly glowing nigger.

 

[NyQuilninja]

"please give me money so I can hire a priest to banish the ghosts in our pipes!"

Now I want a YouTube video of George Washington with an AR-15 and wearing a plate carrier over his Continental uniform calling people cucks for not owning one as Alexander Hamilton fires off a machinegun in the background as he yells at Jefferson about how this is the benefit of industrialization. Franklin, of course, is hitting on at least two range bunnies.

This is very exciting news. They should get a webcam set up livestreaming to the website so we can watch the alpacas starve to death in real time!

I'm more interested in what science is saying about gay buttrape during a struggle.

Are we sure these are troons and not just doughy cat ladies?

Imagine paying $19.99 a month for weekly uploads of potato quality selfies of a girl in a thong with a retarded Snapchat filter of bear ears over her face.

Thank you. This retard now understands that pics of golden retrievers are to be NSFW spoilered.

Who will be the first Oprah of porn?

I didn't realize it was even possible to be this retarded.

>coomer's paradise
As I click through the OnlyFans of some girl named Beth
I take a look at my life, and realize there's nothin' left
'Cause I've been jerkin' the gherkin so long
That even my momma thinks that my mind is gone

OnlyFans is one Hateful Conduct and Harassment policy away from becoming an actual, digital pimp. When's Jeff Bezos starting a competitor?