random_text.txt

[DickMain]

I have added you all to my block list. I'm not going to continue to shit up the site by arguing with retarded niggers.

 

[The Hoh Rainforest]

she has nowhere to cry except while shitting in a Taco Bell bathroom

 

[BirdUp]

A gaming subreddit I frequent had a post titled "Piglet's Big Game sees massive increase in price." And I'm so Pat poisoned I thought 'Pat hasn't made a video game, what's going on?' I completely forgot about the Winnie the Pooh character.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Psychologically, why are women less interested in video games?

The same reason men will pick up any random object and almost immediately evaluate it's quality as a melee weapon.

 

[ForTheHoard]

Life in the crystal prison isn't so bad. You can still have fun.

 

[Dr. Butt]

* Computer sounds *

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

He's only 19 and has raped 3 people. Jesus.

 

[Dr. Butt]

is that the goblin who would follow people around in Second Life and bother them while they were trying to have virtual sex?

 

[Sawamura Simp]

James Rolfe is being blamed for Trump being re-elected

Also Rekieta is a jew, so he's basically cheating. Source: trust me bro

Let this be a reminder to everyone: never kill a squirrel right before an election

This is great. This is so funny. I'm so happy. Can things be nice and funny all the time? I love this so much.

I have been suspended from the forum for my love of Tulsi. And I will be again.

You can try to stop me but five will take my place.

Spoiler: Bonus

I will NOT stop calling Tulsi Surfer Mommy.

 

[Finger Pistols]

I want to eat that Irish chick's sweaty butthole out of pure respect. That was a fuck of a brawl.

Sweaty butthole, huh?

 

[The Un-Clit]

Sweaty butthole, huh?

I was taking bets in my head if this was going to end up here.

And yeah, pretty sure it was sweaty after going 10 rounds toe-to-toe with that sore loser dago bitch.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Great points by Emma Cumslutress.

Your butt poos.

 

[George Lucas]

Snow Brown and the Ethnically and Medically Diverse People of Height.

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

must be hard to breathe sniffing your farts all day and getting cucked by your sister-wife thing. He’s literally had the same black party city wig since the early 2000s, bless his heart.

"Hello my fellow corn-fed yokels. I'm coming to you again today from my ranch and with my cowboy hat because I was fishing this morning while singing gospel songs and a thought occurred to me. When you really think about how the frontier was won, how our ancestors fought and died for this land, and the spirit of America, it's pretty clear that 8 year olds should get neovaginas. I mean, when we set aside all the partisan bickering and just get down to brass tacks (my grandma Bessy made her log cabin with brass tacks), can't we all just agree that kindergarteners need to learn about butt plugs?"

I know they would just fly him to Minnesota from California, but a big part of me wants Ralph and the two misfit beat cops sent to get him, have a wacky cross country road trip adventure culminating in a passionate courtroom speech where they all tell the judge what they learned about each other and life.

You have a navy seal that's out to violently rape you, and won't stop until you're part of his concubine.

You'd be afraid too.

He uses way too much Botox and it spooks all the Boomers who also get Botox.

Man, people just need to accept they're gonna get old. If I was famous, I'd rather have those dumb, "This person was young and handsome in 2004*, but 20 years later, they look....like THIS!?!?!? What HAPPENED??!?!?" articles written about me than those "See how this guy has come to look like a plastic horror goblin" articles.

* hypothetically speaking

holy fuck adderall crispy crackarooski crystal meth and adrenochrome is a hell of a mix to shoot into your eyeballs right before filming starts, john

The Netflix adaptation of Hamtaro.

I would rather die like an American than live like a European. Load me up on slim jims, Jesus, I'm coming home!

Apologies for the lateness, I was hit by a sudden, unintentional, case of bulimia, combined with a surprise explosive colon cleanse.

 

[Something Awful]

"how can Louis Rossman be pro right to repair, and yet believe that human bodies can't have user modifiable gender? context: he's had an active kiwifarms account for about the past year"



(courtesy of @Markass the Worst)

 

[WTBOnlineFather]

"I've been a crinklebottom diaper wearer since the 80's little boo cake"

 

[Oliver Onions]

I used to think a good ass-beating would straighten anybody out and give them a wake up call. Then Ralph went to Portugal.

Twice.

 

[Kiwi & Cow]

"how can Louis Rossman be pro right to repair, and yet believe that human bodies can't have user modifiable gender? context: he's had an active kiwifarms account for about the past year"

View attachment 6651660

(courtesy of @Markass the Worst)

Post the link to the thread. I want to see it.

 

[Something Awful]

Post the link to the thread. I want to see it.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/escape-from-new-york-louis-rossman-edition.124966/post-19857158

 

[Edict of Expulsion]

Any updates on that poor dog?

It's found Kayla comatose on her bed and started eating her from the feet upwards. Nick's too busy hitting his slampig in the second home to stop it. In a few hours nothing of Kayla will remain and the pug will, at long last, be king of the Rekieta household. It'll change the locks, invite the children back into the home and begin the long process of healing their trauma. The second house will soon be sold to an anonymous buyer who wants only to be known as "Null", with the proceeds going to Montegraph. With Nick homeless and hungry, the pug will generously allow him back into the home if he agrees to be confined to the bathroom and fed dog food at 2am every morning. He agrees, but after enduring weeks of humiliation at the hands of the pug, sneaks out into the garage and eats a bullet.
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