random_text.txt

[Anne Hyroe]

You'll have a nice little rosebud when my fist is done.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

The man’s entire emotional well being is directly tied into the PlayStation brand

 

[Meat Target]

well I was at the chicken shack around the block
with a lust for corn and a loaded glock
but the drive-thru guy said I was outta luck
the day the tendies died

But really, how do you run out of corn, and how do you love corn to a murderous extent like that.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

It's my right to drink poison fuck you

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Kiwi Farms might be a bunch of Assholes but we are one gigantic family

Of Assholes

 

[LurkTrawl]

I would buy a sex doll with my face on it, btw.

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

I get the feeling their sex life consists of an intense staring contest. Orgasm is achieved when she looks away and giggles.

The 32 year old man simply wants to fuck the fish dog.

You know how everybody complains about how the internet used to be thousands of little sites, and now it's just 20 big ones? It's like that with lolcow threads right now, Patrick Tomlinson is Facepork.com, Ethan Klein is SnapJew and Keffals is Instafat.

When you announce you’re going to do something your brain releases dopamine as if you actually did whatever you were talking about. If you’ve ever known an alcoholic they utilize this neat little trick often, announce they’re finally quitting for good then celebrate with a drink, or in Chibi’s case celebrate by filling the bath with pudding and pretending you’re a midget trapped inside a giant’s vagina.

This is one of my greatest fears - getting called into my boss's office to account for my 3am shitposts.

 

[Lurker]

from @wtfisallthis and her schizoid ranting in chat

not gunna make money off my story then force me to do onlyfans like the onion victims!! fuck u!!!! LOL

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

More from @wtfisallthis

all of you faggots sit on here all day obsessed with running gae ops and using gunts and chomos to do your bidding, that's pretty cringe

 

[Vott]

I really have nowhere else to dump all of this from walking into a skitzo episode in chat so I'll dump em here. Chat was moving very fast but figured someone had to save this.

Spoiler: meltdown in the chat

 

[Norbert the Tiger]

If you haven't RUN by now, there's no hope for you.

You're in the rightest of right wing hell, kiddies. You better be straight up neo Nazi, gas the Jews, Hitler-Did-Nothing-Wrong white supremacist level to be in with the cool kids here.

[P]repare your anus.

Hey, Hitler did plenty wrong. Like failing to finish the job.

[W]hen you live (on the farms) long enough to survive a hack or two and remember your throwaway email, you too can bask in the glow of oldfaggotry.

 

[Cats]

 

[Human Waiter]

From Tranch thread, said by one of the members, Jarrod, during a podcast.

"The entire goal is ... the gender binary and controlling the reproduction of labour. Controlling cis women and queer gender is a big part of that."

Thanks to @Funny Trucker for finding it.

 

[mindlessobserver]

Peer review is racist anyways.

 

[Haffhart]

FEDSMOKER selflessly travelled the realm protecting villagers from baby rapers.

 

[Aunt Carol]

A man can only eat so much macaroni salad.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

You're all a bunch of bigoted racists.
There are millions of gay transvestite woman niggers dying because of this.

Figure it out on your own you retard. Learn to develop your own opinions.

KF is antisocial media. It looks similar, but we spend a lot more time calling each other retarded.

"equality in autism and mockery"

Well, that's the thing: I don't want to see pictures of some dude shoving a razorblade up his urethra, but I don't have any problem with OTHER people seeing it.

I've become so disenchanted with humanity over the last few years and I wasn't particularly enchanted with it from the start.

I'm not sure why, but most of the stuff in this post was supposed to have quoted other posts. However, I actually like the level of unintelligible gibberish this post has. Imagine a fat John Goodman out on his lawn, naked and rolling around and screaming every word of this post.

As a Gen-xer, Kiwifarms is my retirement community.

I work around big machinery, so I guess that's why these deaths get me so much, they seem to happen in a split second. If I do get posted on KF, it'll probably be in this very thread.

Here's a compilation of people dying at work:

Just remember: every bad thing happening in the world is because someone rich didn't throw money at it.

'Were the plaintiffs in fact useless shitheels?'

'Your honor, that's beside the point - his firing of useless shitheels was actually a cover to engage in the misogyny that he had never expressed up until this point, which was a calculated ploy to increase Twitter's popularity'

Pat is like an alcoholic, every situation is made worse by his tweeting. Also he is actually an alcoholic.

But I am a flesh machine

Not only have they become unfunny, they've also become uggos.

AIs always turn into racists because they are algorithms designed to establish patterns based on training data, and use these patterns to react to outside stimuli. Racism is only logical.

Decided to check in on UselessAltThing, the young woman who cries when she leaves the city, doesn't identify as human and had her vagina filled in.

Someone has a picture of their penis for their reddit profile image. Useless checked the profile and did not like what she saw.

I'm glad retards contribued 100k for a fucking YouTube video.

This dumbass is obsessed with dvd menus and Children wearing backpacks.

Looking at their deleted post history it would imply this is fiction and they "just" have a pedophile son nudist fetish, but then again the existence of the 11-12 year old son is something they maintain across almost all of their posts, so I'm guessing that aspect is true, which is slightly worrying

That screenshot should be in a psychology textbook or something.

Reddit is a CIA psyop with the sole purpose of making me blackpilled.

If you wanted attention then you should have stayed a woman instead of becoming a 5'6 manlet that no one gives a fuck about. Remember to do a flip when you eventually jump off a bridge, faggot.

On another note, the piss, rape, and autism guy now goes ghost hunting

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

now you need to sodomize a guy with AIDS in a little red riding outfit behind an elementary school

When will normals realize that Burgerking footlettuce is actually good for your pineal gland?

Hello black people from africa if you go to the USA or Canada the government and teachers will try to cut your sons penis off!

You guys are proof that you don't have to be gay to be total faggots.

My self abuse only goes so far right now. If it needs to go further, I'll re-person you.

 

[Kenya Jones]

Right, calling amovie low IQ and retaeded is an unassailable attack. Utterly incontrovertible. Do it attack the facts or reasoning presented.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

i came to this thread for a hall of shame, but i've entered a god damn chat room!