Here at the Church of Pat we accept stalker children from all walks of life, regardless if you are a well known author or a first name bunch of numbers. Partake in communion with us as we create cracker sandwiches in Pat's honor.
This Walmart brand Ritz cracker represents our earthly bonds, fragile and salty, which we break as he broke his own bonds.
This homemade pepperoni represents his flesh, ample and sweet, which we eat to honor those sacrificed for Pat.
This Wisconsin cheddar represents his fat, buttery and mild, which we eat so we may be fat like him.
Wipe your mouth with the sacramental Scott paper towel and take this red Solo cup filled with Pabst because it was on sale. Please open up your Bibbles to Book 1 of Children of a Dead Earth, turn to chapter 7 and may we all enjoy prison this Sunday morning.