- Joined
- Feb 1, 2015
He truly has a child's palate
Cooking with Kat (and DSP) thread
- Thread starter neger psykolog
- Start date
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2016
We're talking about a man who still takes gummy vitamins and wears "Sonic the Hedgehog" t-shirts at the age of 39. I feel reasonably confident the Asian steak was for show and he was more interested in the Yoohoo.
It's pronounced puhLETTE you nudnik! #Debunked
EDIT: We have a photo of Phil's birthday edition pig slop:
Just from looking at it I can tell you it's very low quality - a good cake should be very porous, that isn't and must have been incredibly dense and heavy. The latticework and uniform thin frosting makes me think Kat bought it from Fred Meyer's: my dad baked a lot when I was a kid and getting a thin, uniform layer of frosting is harder than it sounds especially at the edges of the cake.
Happy 39th birthday Philip! Your present is diabetes!
Based on the video he indirectly admitted it was terrible and probably dry as well:
And our resident tard wrangler is right as usual:
I posted about it way upthread but I feel confident saying he's destroyed the enamel in his teeth and even soft, extremely shitty cake is painful because it's impacting the dentin (sensitive portion of the teeth). Thank God Phil's too retarded to go to a dentist because it will only accelerate the Dentures Saga.
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- Joined
- Mar 11, 2016
Before anyone gets mad it's not a double post when the thread hasn't been updated in over a week.
Phil seems to be increasingly unhappy with Kat's pig slop:
First, he can't even pretend to like herFred Meyer premade homemade authentic cake; there is still some left over but he just wants it gone and wants less concentrated diabetes next year:
Archive: https://archive.md/nOXeu
She's making things wrong a lot because she can't follow recipes (you'd think someone with a touch of the 'tism would be really good at following instructions verbatim but whatever):
Archive: https://archive.md/B7ujQ
And even something as minor as fresh parsley blows his mind:
Archive: https://archive.md/wsYoo
I still can't believe this isn't performance art sometimes.
Phil seems to be increasingly unhappy with Kat's pig slop:
First, he can't even pretend to like her
Archive: https://archive.md/nOXeu
She's making things wrong a lot because she can't follow recipes (you'd think someone with a touch of the 'tism would be really good at following instructions verbatim but whatever):
Archive: https://archive.md/B7ujQ
And even something as minor as fresh parsley blows his mind:
Archive: https://archive.md/wsYoo
I still can't believe this isn't performance art sometimes.
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2019
Like all DSP stories about him interacting with IRL people, this sounded retarded so I thought I'd take a look.
He said that they went to some place called the "African Cafe" at the airport, quick google search showed that there’s a place called the "Africa Lounge" so pretty sure this was what he was referring to.
Kat apparently had an "Italian Chicken Sandwich", and on the menu there's a "Grilled Italian Chicken" sandwich, so it was probably this.
Now in the video, DSP describes the menu as …
"a flame grilled delectable, marinated chicken breast, with provolone cheese, and some kind of vegetables, and a delicious aioli sauce on a ciabatta bread with your choice of sides"
But... as you can see the menu reads…
“Marinated chicken breast grilled & topped with provolone & roasted peppers, served on a roll with lettuce & tomato” with sides of “potato chips and a pickle spear”
Ok… so quite a bit of an exaggeration there Dave… Also liked how he glossed over all the vegetables even though that was half of the description, lol.
DSP meanwhile, had a turkey sandwich which he described as…
“slow smoked chicken breast with delicious cheddar cheese and a hand mixed garlic aioli mayo on a delicious hoagie roll, choice of either chips or fries” ‘
But once again, heres what the menu said…
“smoked turkey breast served on a French roll with choice of Swiss or cheddar cheese, mayo, lettuce, onions & tomato” with the same side options as Kat’s chicken sandwich.
So just a couple of things off again. First thing, left out all the veggies again, c’mon Dave…
Second thing is, what’s with him trying to shoehorn in aioli into everything? Was it because he was visiting his parents, so he thought he had to “Italian” the story up?
And finally, this dude complained that the chips he bought from an airport restaurant were not homemade but were instead bagged chips… lol this dude.
This brings me back to what always fasincated me about the pig, which is why he tells these stupid pointless lies. Like it was a stream about your wedding, why make this pointless shit up and waste 5 mins talking about how retarded you were to be ripped off by an airport restaurant?
So the theories I have are as follows:
1. He wanted to prolong the overall story to attract more tips
2. He felt retarded for paying $15 for shitty airport food and wanted to make himself feel better by making up this story about how it wasnt his fault.
3. He had to make the story up to cover up why he was paying $15 for a single meal when he was supposed to be broke
4. There is so little going on in his life that he has to embelish the tiniest things in his life just so he doesn't come off as a loser to his chat
5. His pig brain was actually so famished that he actually replaced the menu with his own deluded universe and was then shocked that reality did not bend to his will
Anyways, thanks for coming to my Autism Talks
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- Aug 10, 2019
That would be an even more neggertive review if he did it today.
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2013
My only question is why would you order an Italian chicken sandwich from a place called the African Lounge and think it was going to be any good?
And I guess Philbert doesn't understand marketing and how restaurant menus are designed to appeal to your appetite.
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2018
This one never fucking gets old.
- Joined
- May 6, 2020
I wouldn’t feed that shit to Guantanamo bay prisoners. No thanks, I’d rather be waterboarded
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2018
Congratulations, he used enough Miracle Whip that you could be waterboarded with it.
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2013
When he said "a half cup of mayo for every 6 ounces of tuna" you know he's an idiot. That's way too much mayo. Unless your name is Jack Scalfani who eats that stuff with a spoon.
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- Nov 22, 2020
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- Mar 22, 2017
When he talks about his weekly 'Turkey Dogs' meal he always says they eat them with 'beans' what does that mean? Has anyone ever asked what he means by beans? There are about 35 thousand types of beans and possibly more ways to prepare them. My first thought was baked beans from a can but maybe he means frozen green beans? What a weirdo
- Joined
- May 5, 2020
I assume he means canned chili beans or baked beans, because this is Phil, and those are probably the only kinds he knows of. Motherfucker doesn't understand what puns are, so...
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2013
I'd wager it's baked beans from a can. It's semi-traditional in a lot of places in the US that hot dogs are served with baked beans.
Never ate it myself and it's considered to be a kid's meal to the point where it's often referred to as "Beanie Weenies".
WolverineGuy22
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2020
Beenie-Weenies are cheap dollar store franks those. These were healthy, custom style turkey hot dogs that Kat uses a variety of herbs and spices to give it a unique flavor
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- Joined
- Oct 25, 2017
Knowing Khet's culinary acumen, it would probably look more like cigar butts in gallstone sauce.
- Joined
- May 5, 2020
You know those moments in The Simpsons where Homer's brain has had enough of his shit and goes on a vacation?
I like to imagine that's what would happen if Phil's brain didn't have such endless patience with him, after about the millionth time he uses the word "custom" when talking about food. It's seriously the only thing he says that comes anywhere near to being as irksome to me as "Jasper Kitty".
It's a dish, Phil, not a fucking car you put together in Need For Speed. Fucking weirdo idiot...
I like to imagine that's what would happen if Phil's brain didn't have such endless patience with him, after about the millionth time he uses the word "custom" when talking about food. It's seriously the only thing he says that comes anywhere near to being as irksome to me as "Jasper Kitty".
It's a dish, Phil, not a fucking car you put together in Need For Speed. Fucking weirdo idiot...
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2013
But she loves to cook and clean and do all kinds of things like that. Philbert said so. It's not like he'd lie or anything when he's the most real and honest guy on the internet. I mean he's always saying, "and I'm going to be honest with you" before launching into whatever spiel he has. Would a liar ever utter the phrase, "I'm going to be honest with you"? No of course not because they're not honest. That's how you can truly separate the honest guys from the liars. The ones that tell you they're honest are the honest ones.
Honestly. I'm not lying.
Muppetmode
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2019
Don’t forget how he thinks condiments is synonymous with vegetables
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2013
In that place that's the only vegetables they get.
His horse only cooks meat and potatoes and sometimes she'll throw a couple peas into her macaroni salad but just for color.