random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Aunt Carol]

The only major difference, apart from the physical swap of roles, is that Jane and Mr Rochester don’t eventually die from fermented botulism.

"Super AIDs du sagst? Ja, das ist nicht gut."

Awww, even the Mormons let you get tats now.

The Greeks would have considered him straight.

 

[EllenDrawsRapeOfHerHaters]

Threatening Uber's office with suicide is a new one for me.

 

[Tablet County]

all characters look either like troon versions of Kathryn Hahn or JD vance edits.

This gets a feature but the pope being assassinated by jd vance doesn't?

 

[Mister Mint]

meta commentary on random_text.txt itself.

being reminded for the hundredth time that somebody out there's fine with wearing a pair of crapped-in panties if the offender is cute enough is...unnecessary, let's say.

 

[Laquisha Guntermensch]

I wonder if I can get the junkie faggot to mail me a 3D printer.

 

[Tablet County]

If Todd Howard programmed my doctor I'm giving birth at home.

 

[Bzk]

the Catholic thing to do is to.... photoshop my hand into BBC porn?

 

[Tablet County]

I’m going to go on Etsy.com and put in an order for a crate full of pajeets right to your hometown

Anyways seeing all of this mod stuff reminded me of that mod that turned Cyrodiil into Ram Ranch and one of the cowboys at the Ranch was Gavin Newsom.

 

[Rudolf's Friend]

When will we be holding the secret military tribunals?

well im NEVER calling anyone a faggot or telling them to kill themselves again. it is insanely terrible optics and i honestly am a fucking retard for doing it.

 

[CaddestSlown]

Hypothesis: You are a gay nigger.
Experiment: Read your posts. Only a gay nigger could have wrote this.
Conclusion: You ARE a gay nigge.r

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

That is the most aggressive double chin I have ever seen.

Only a few more steps away from a nonpracticing liver and then a nonpracticing mortal if he keeps up his habits.

"Look, I'd have written a better eulogy, but I had to drive my goddamn kid to his 11pm underwater theremin lessons. I'm just too busy!'

Lucky for him he learned the forbidden technique of not opening the door to people he feels threatened by and instead calling the police.

Ah kern county...such a based place with people like Mccarthy and EDP.

I want someone in a nice outfit explaining their policies and how that'll positively affect me, not some thot on the couch doing parasocial "lying about my obvious abortion" ASMR.

Nick has been naughty this year, and in a slight twist, Santa has filled his stomach with activated charcoal.

India Superpooer 2025 Saar. Redeemed

calling somebody a fag online isn't about the cock in their asshole, it's about the cock in their heart

If I were there I'd probably start screaming every unmonetizable word possible at the guy.

Mr. Rogers said to look for the helpers, not the dudes recording for the Gram.

"Da brain spatta', fam!"

I recently read Harry's book, Waaagh, and I don't think he's going to survive the divorce. He's the incarnation of that "When A Man Loves A Woman" song.

You're just jealous of my future ice farm.

I don’t want anyone to die. I’m just crossing my fingers hoping Dax’s Barbie Dream Mansion gets hit.

Maybe I want Hollywood execs to die, but only a little.

I feel connected to this fire in LA. I have an uncontrollable fire burning through my guts and ass atm (Norovirus), I have tried dousing it with water and jello and Alka Seltzer, and it has done nothing. Pray for me boys, I can't imagine what I'm going through is any better than what's happening in LA.

Now this is the story all about how a bunch of lives will be turned upside down

As a gay black transsexual on the LAFD, I had to call in because of mental health. I’m just tired and Trump won. So tired, y’all.

To refresh, I need to reddit 24/7 and eat out my bisexual polycule partners ass. Maybe speedrun some video games.

I’ll be good in a month or so to fight the fires after my depression and fibromyalgia goes away.

Nick can’t get over Null’s soft eyes. Before there was Aaron, there was sweet, sweet Josh. His lunacy is caused by one thing only - the unrequited love of a Moon.

They could have been eating Subway holding hands, Nick and Josh. Exploring all the many cheeses that aren’t cheddar. Farming banana peppers, and saving the capital I Internet together. What kind of roads will never be traveled now?

These are the most lesbian-looking lesbians to ever lesbian.

It’s because Becky is “non-binary” now so she’s not a female or male.

She’s a they/them now, possessed by 4 demons that are also fat and can’t drive

If some Mexican kids were bullying my kid, I would just go over to the mom's house, get her super drunk on tequila and Modelos, and proceed to have sex with her. Then, I would film it and send it to the kid, saying that if he doesn't quit picking on my bald little nigga kid, I'm going to become his new stepdad and beat the ever-loving shit out of him every single day. I don't care how fat that bitch is or how glorious her husband's mustache is - That's the road to revenge, and it must be done.

There was a photo in the PRN article I posted upthread:
View attachment 6874490
It's like a line of dominos, although one of the things I've noticed about dominos is they don't usually explode into an unquenchable inferno of toxic turbo-death.

Sleeper Cell Activation Code:
Ronald McDonald

I dont remember Skylanders telling me to shoot up my school.

The prices of eggs will go down once god emperor Trump presses the egg switch which is solely responsible for the price of eggs in America
View attachment 6896038

Ah yes, "the deport your Mexican classmate challenge", an Aryan classic.

"Gaylord Hotel"? What, was the Faggot Inn all booked up for the night?

Home school helicopter lessons just aren't good enough.

Hooooo boy! Rug jockeys gonna be beating their wives tonight!

The real fourth reich are the friends we made along the way.

You don't want a military uniform for an 8 year old, matching tuxedo shoes, and some sharpened rocks to circumcise your daughter with?

Man, everyone thinks I'm a nazi just because I tattooed hitlers face on my face and got a kick-*** eagle holding up the buddist luck symbol on my chest. I swear, people are so judgmental!

Mr. Johma looks like he's a UFO cult convert from the 70s, except instead of waiting for Hale-Bopp he's going to bat for pedophile-worshipping sand people in the Middle East because the ugliest woman on planet Earth managed to get him to talk to a therapist.

 

[Skitarii]

Wow, the Catholics are posting porn to totally own me, how will I recover?

So if your excuses for flooding my nation with criminals and depressing my wages doesn't work, the Catholic thing to do is to.... photoshop my hand into BBC porn?

 

[Aunt Carol]

I’m glad I was a teenager back in the days before groomcord, when the pedos would just try to straight up rape you.

 

[Amelia Troonheart]

I like porn. I play roblox. I don't talk about porn around roblox players.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

The Chinese can't go ten feet without getting hunted by their natural predators[;] motor vehicles, industrial lathes, and construction equipment.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

begim masturbatio

Kill yourself trannysimp.

Dogs fucking would mess up the pace of the film.

 

[stupid frog]

As cool as it is, if you are expecting a full set NES collection with the boxes to get you laid then it will, but you better be willing to be with a dude. I've never seen a woman get horny over someone's retro video game collection.

Anisa learned all about Israeli oppression when the IDF blew her childhood house up in Edmonton

The government doesn't want you to know this, but the people in wheelchairs at the park are free. You can just take them home. I have 456 paraplegics in my garage.

METOKUR MASOCHIST FOR
TWO
HUMAN
SKUUUUUUUUULLLLLS!
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

[AspieNextDoor]

Can't quote sadly

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

The battle for the human mind will be fought in the internet arena: the Autistic Thunderdome. The computer screen is the retina of the mind's eye. Therefore, the computer screen is part of the physical structure of the brain. Therefore, whatever appears on the computer screen emerges as raw experience for those who scroll it. Therefore, Kiwi Farms is reality, and reality is less than the Kiwi Farms.

 

[Tablet County]

It's like sex with horses. Once you do it the first time, there's no going back to dogs.

Violence is not inherently degenerate, skooma addicts are portrayed sufficiently negatively, the guy who wrote the lust argonian maid is a in universe fop

Yeah, and game's ESRB M rating is absolutely unjustified