random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[KiwiFuzz]

Hitler was right about social media.

literally just use a fucking pot or pan or whatever goes on your ovens you fucking autists
i swear only on kf will people start arguments over how to properly boil water at home

 

[NyQuilninja]

You don't need a leader. Just stop paying your parking tickets.

There's something I've always wanted to ask one of these witches. You know that thing you do where you cast a spell on something and absolutely fuck all happens? How many times do you have to go through that before you realise it's all a pile of shit?

I was talking about your mom. She's sad her dead-end marriage produced nothing but a retard son with crippling autism

The fedposting in this thread is starting to rival the lights of Vegas at midnight.

If you're not happy in your relationship just have an affair. If he works fulltime it's not like he's going to find out.

The cardiologist WHITE

The pulmonologist WHITE

The orthopedist, WHITE

Even the god damn janitor, WHITE

I went to my cities sub and discord when someone invited me, surprise surprise it was filled with unbearable faggotry

Wearing a mask reduces your ability to quickly swallow your stash of drugs, tho.

Masks are racist.

COVID is the last thing you should worry about catching at burning man.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

World is a fuck, my man. World is a fuck.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

"The day my vagina fell apart was the worst day of my life."

 

[NyQuilninja]

He jacked off while thinking of Drachenlord. And also underage cartoon ducks, but mostly Drachenlord.

My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus did a little dance while stealing a banana, then started screaming "I CAN'T BREATHE!"

Being a Republican is literally a hate crime.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

I'm not Harvey. In the NAME of JESUS, YOU WILL REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

 

[Pee Cola]

Ukrainian chicks are hot, you just gotta remember to replace them every 5 to 10 years. They age like Mexicans.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

BIX NOOD EYE KAN'T FUK DIS, WHYTEBICH 2 OLD MUH DICK WE WUZ KANGS

 

[kazuhiro]

Where are the disabled, queer, poor, gender diverse, dogs of colour and single-parent dog families

source

 

[NyQuilninja]

I seriously feel nothing when I see the CNN employee get hurt. Not mirth or disgust or anger or anything.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

How come people against capitalism want to capitalize so much stuff?

People who get two scoops of baby Hitler in their raisin bran every morning.

 

[mr.moon1488]

I don't have the balls (literally since my transition) to set a psychiatrist's office on fire. How am I supposed to compete with the based Soda Schizo?

 

[Piss Bear]

(source)

 

[Antipathy]

I hate niggers and I want to hit them with my car.

I wouldn't take anything Reddit says seriously when it comes to race relations. Most of these fat chunky white dudes never interact with black people and the majority of them are obese shut-ins who think women online are impressed when you post about how not racist you are.

 

[Jack Awful]

Ultimately, the expression took root in that great incubator of creativity: Black Twitter.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

My system is flawed, but accurate in its own way.

This thread will be in deathfats soon enough.

Imagine being a 16 year old and getting pegged in the booty by some Mexican dude with a wonky eye. One eye is on you, and the other eye is on a 15 inch black dildo. All of a sudden, he gives you a dirty sanchez and then punches you.

 

[Local Fed]

"Shot in the vagina."

i thought you were in a concentration camp.

Open a dictionary you stupid bitch.

 

[NyQuilninja]

If you're wondering if the person you're with is 'the one' ask them to lick your ass next time you're intimate. If they say no they aren't 'the one.' If they say yes then they might be 'the one' and even if they're not, you can always hold over them that they licked your ass.
-modified advice from Mick Foley

Niggers wearing formal clothes will never not be funny.

just imagine what a trial by reddit would be like

they didn't let him on because he wanted to scream "YES HE DESERVED TO DIE AND I HOPE HE SNEEDS IN HELL"

He's outside sucking on car exhausts to prove carbon monoxide has no effect.

Mmmmm, forbidden evidence

well /pol/ is mostly american white nationalists, and as well all know, american white nationalists are all mexican

Somebody think of the fucking hamburgers!

A guy I know from high school actually pays 1800 a month for a studio apartment in Chicago. Imagine being an urban bugman who pays a premium to live in the middle of nigger riots and pseudo Marxism.

are you fucking shitting me.

You fucking retards got this kid killed. YOU set those wheels in motion, you shameless pieces of shit. Don't you act like this is some kind of fucking heinous murder by an officer, you unbelievable shitstains.

the child youre defending would kill and rob you without thinking twice.

Monster.

The dump truck would be impounded and the bugmen of downtown LA would be deprived of disposing of their Kombucha bottles and amazon packaging containing their funko pops.

Wait, my apologies ...

 

[LurkTrawl]

Playing Russian roulette assuming the revolver has an average number of chambers is literally safer than fucking a troon. Holy fuck.

 

[Antipathy]

Niggers tongue my anus and so does the creator of steven universe

If simply being a fucking retard rated you a thread here, we'd all have one.

Poopdick in open wound causes infections? Wtf is science nigga? ~ troons probably.

Fine, sicker than your average nigger killer
Twist niggers' heads off
Niggers fucking stink niggers and gayers