random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Hitman One]

feigning outrage over his insane ex-boyfriend getting kicked out of a furry convention for being a ketamine addicted diaper fetishist that is so fucking insane and zonked out on ketamine that they get kicked out of a diaper fetishist pornographic photography group, Lying.

 

[Mr Bunny]

Watching someone jack your corpse off would be the ultimate state of cuckoldry.

 

[stuffandthings]

now you're walking around with millions or potentially BILLIONS in your head. In your fucking head. You can cross state borders and boundaries WITH MONEY IN YOUR GODDAMN HEAD.

 

[MediocreMilt]

that said, i got a pair of her panties, shitstains included, that anyone might wish to buy can purchase in a bidding war which begins at 250 bones, it ends nov 20th, before caroline burt gets in town. i want this tramp's stank undies outta my life and biz before then or they go in the trash. but if someone wants to buy em....bidding starts in dm's with me at 250.

 

[Cats]

just put the finishing touches on my fourth Boglin pocket pussy

 

[Be patient I have lurkism]

 

[Meat Target]

If at least a portion of his new viewers stick around, they'll eventually be exposed to Chris-Chan and the Vic Mignogna/Weeb Wars shit in the near future. And that's horrifying.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I guess we can put this under "Mother Nature Being A Based Bitch" though.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Such is the life of the terminally hideous.

 

[SCSI]

I just found a commie necrophilic fanfic, so really its not all that dissimilar from reddit.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Where we're going, we won't need genitals to coom.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

When will we see a cartoon in which AOC is triple-penetrated by elephants?

 

[Cryonic Haunted Bullets]

They can gaze upon their gasping, rotund, balding Sleeping Beauty one last time before unplugging her CPAP machine and watching her delicately gasp and fart her way into Nashville Chicken Heaven.

She's a flesh jalopy held together with baling wire. One good fall, one hard sneeze, one gut punch from Romeo and it's over.

I hope [COVID-19] mutates and gets spread by farts. They'll be sucking each other's asses with fervor.

Okay, my vagina IS broken! But it can be FIXED! I WILL HAVE A NORMAL VAGINA IN 2022!

Man got shaken awake and woke up punching. That happens, it's just an accident.

One of his adopted tribe, who has travelled to the west, mastered Far Cry 3's crafting system and returned to the jungle with this knowledge, could make him a small man-bag from leaves or tapir hide.

There's got to be a bariatric potty chair somewhere in that house.

The [Twin] Towers only had 3 staircases each, which didn't meet any city building codes and constituted a huge flaw in their emergency preparedness... now imagine they're all dumbfuck college students and half of them are drunk.

 

[HullDown]

I know it goes without saying, but driving a car doesn’t affect how someone’s semen tastes.

 

[Kromer Merchant]

Nobody was even talking about you till you schizoblasted us with your shitty panty proposition.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

There is no person on earth so beautiful that it transcends fatness. I think Angela White is pretty but she's so disgustingly obese that the mere thought of her fat girl feet makes me slightly nauseous. Looks like she's wearing two Christmas hams as shoes.

A solution to the jew problem was proposed, but nobody fucking liked it. Make up your minds.

Become one with the rats. Obey the giant rat that makes all of the rules.

This map just proves that Albertans are a bunch of liars.

Herro ferrow white people

Does this extend to other languages? As I'd really like a reason to tell my Year 8 French teacher to go fuck herself.

Why would Santa need to be vaccinated? He's magic.

Look at Mel Gibson in braveheart, he's the prototranny.

If Santa can pull his pants down for the man's pickle, why don't you?

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Judging people based on attributes like race and gender is prejudiced and wrong. In fact these things don't even really exist, they're just social constructs!

Why yes, I do believe people's personalities can be determined by their zodiac sign, why did you ask?

Whatever burger flipping job you failed to get wasn't because they they were mad you were a gemini, it's because you don't shower.

 

[Tard Police]

LMAO those are going straight into the soon-to-be-clogged shitter.

If they were real men, they would duck quickly into the women's bathroom to get what they really needed.

 

[Haramburger]

That's something that's been upsetting me recently. One of Lowtax's daughters had to say goodbye in the Youtube comments of a video of her recently departed father shoving sausage in his mouth for nickels.

 

[Tard Police]

beating his nub dick to Lazy town and blowing his load in the old people oat meal they serve and slurping it down while cutting in line in front of a blind old lady in his rest home with his Tiny Tim accent "please Sir may I have some more?"

I once went swimming in a pool and got AIDS.

What you want to do with your dick, and how you feel about that, are the only suitable subjects for poetry.

I don't know what's wrong with doctors in Ireland, but that is fucking not at all how a post-childbirth vagina is supposed to look.