random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[KiwiFuzz]

Calvin and Hobbes is a great comic, by the way.

It's like finding the baby in a Mardi Gras King Cake

You could probably crush the skull with your teeth and it's been Kentucky fried which is good enough for me.

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

no i do not care. stop tagging me.

yes, i just got home and checked the internet. things like that happen

not sure how that occured but well, you orbit a man with a 2" cock so that speaks for itself

STINKY REINKE.

 

[cuddle striker]

Haha. You want the youth pumped full of vaccines that are dangerous for them, and I want to pump the youth who are old enough full of cock. Who's the bad guy here?

 

[Kromer Merchant]

idk I, for one, am excited for Anisa's edition of Mein Kampf

 

[SCSI]

You got the ‘tism

This guy got the ‘tism

That guy got the ‘tism and so do you.

It's Kiwifarms, that's a given.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

I instantly regret clicking on that. I got to the woman advertising her vagina smells like taco meat and decided it was time to be done.

 

[Haffhart]

he has the face of a schoolshooter

 

[Blackhole]

Roleplaying is an art. It's just that like regular art, for every serious and competent artist, there are ten thousand jabbering chimpanzees convinced that they're the next Earnest Hemingway and determined to prove it to you in the most obnoxious way possible.

you're sounding a bit like the self-proclaimed historian on Deviantart who couldn't feel sympathy for a photo of rounded-up Jews until someone photoshopped Raindow Dash into it

"As someone who's struggling to not look at Shotacon, it triggered my guily conscience.”

This Troper was experiencing a chronic case of Heroic BSOD when America officially crossed the Moral Event Horizon by electing Donald Trump, a Big Bad with Karma Houdini tendencies, president. This caused me to suffer a Despair Event Horizon and I came close to being Driven To Suicide, until I watched an episode of My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic where Pinkypie baked cupcakes for all her friends in a Crowning Moment Of Heartwarming.

"She maek sad faec it maek me cri"

Only humans wearing the blessed garment will be spared from Todd Howard's infinite wrath during the Day of Judgment. $276 of temporal wealth is a pittance to absolve yourself in the eyes of Him.

I have lost a lot of respect for Lord Buckethead.

When people spell "cuckold" like "cuckhold," I picture a medieval fortress full of soyboys in armor.

"If it doesn't make dollars, it doesn't make cents."

Two jabs? I think you mean three. And by three I mean four, if four means five, which actually equals six because the situation changed.

“My kids turned into eunuchs to appease pedophiles, my neighborhoods turned into war zones with drugs to avoid appearing racist, and my country into pyramid scheme meant to enrich the wealthy, that’s all fine. But not my heckin’ politicians being attacked. You are treasonous, despite me being the one that supports everything that undermines your nation.” - modern American Military leaders

“Autists? On my kiwi farms?”

It’s more likely than you think.

The wrong Ford Brother Died

Apparently only rich paedophiles can enjoy quality banking nowadays.

I knew a kid at school that used to snort Axe/Lynx deodorant. He liked the chocolate flavour

Local automaton seeks out people she vehemently disagrees with to simply reinforce her own cognitive dissonance. More at 11:00.

Britbong police when migrant gangs rape children:
Britbong police when you make fun of somebody online:

I love how almost all of these "democrat poll alarms" really just boil down to "guys we gotta get the darkies and browns back on the plantation, stat!"

 

[MediocreMilt]

I stay baked or i can't function at all.

go study the law, fool. touching a well developed teenager does not constitute pedophilia.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Dragons are OK. Starbucks coffee cups are not.

Luckily the internet has a never-ending supply of freaks just like Paul (many documented on the farms), so although this specific supply of entertainment will end for the four to six weeks he can stand to stay away from Twitter, we won’t need to leave our basements to find entertainment elsewhere.

Lol fucking seriously.
I read this shit when I'm taking a shit.
You're on my shitting time.
Get a job you fucking louse.

If you can't drunkpost here at at least three times the BAC where it's illegal for you to drive, give it up, bitch.

 

[Law]

As their adoptive internet parent, I give up. These children are failures and ne’er do wells. They can eff right off and get a third family.

 

[Monolith]

I've long been convinced that JK R has seen one too many shit, sad, badly executed harry potter themed wedding, read one too many fan fiction crossover where snape fucks the tellytubbies and just decided to nuke the whole thing and spoil it for the offenders.

 

[Flour]

I like to think of e zje as a character in a greek tragedy with the name Notesticles.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

To be fair, I don't know why they need to touch your dick cause there is a coin in your back pocket.
I told the TSA agent, "Can I not just take the coin out and walk though again", but no, he got his way and he touched my dick.

It occupies the space of madness, duh, <or..takes presence of?
Either way, how dare you <3

 

[Aunt Carol]

I knew an asian kid in Jr. High who said his dad would go out at night in search of roadkilled animals to steal their bones. He would assemble the bones in the family bathtub and make chimeric terror-creatures out of various different animals.

 

[Mal0]

Imagine being misgendered and raped by Albert Einstein.

Have a snickers and we’ll see you back to normal tomorrow when you post more fat dogs weirdo.

 

[LurkTrawl]

My afro is literally insulted by these Fake Tims.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

You know what we also needed to defeat the Nazis? Bomber planes with nose art of scantily clad women with big ol' tits.

 

[Blackhole]

honestly the image of Hila Klein gunning down hundreds of sand niggers rambo-style is funny, and i'm tired of pretending it's not

The Weeb is immunized against all dangers: one may call him an incel, coomer, neckbeard, v-tuber simp, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him a Pedophile and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: “I’ve been found out.”

I have no opinion on this subject, for I am merely an alcoholic beverage.

Very misogynistic to assume she's a man only because she's a pedophile. Women can be pedophiles too.

"I'll be the intellectual fucking centre of the movement that destroys this country! That destroys this way of life! It's fucking evil and I wanna see it burn and I wanna set the fire!"

 

[Useful_Mistake]

I'm starting to think that Hitler fella wasn't such a jerk after all...

Maybe the great reset is actually turning everyone normal into hitler because fuck this guy, put him on the trains