random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point

 

[Aunt Carol]

Dildo logistics sound kind of difficult.

 

[JustSomeDong]

did you expect someone who designs captchas not to be autistic? Just be glad it isn't cartoon hedgehogs or ponies.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

Kiwis I'm retarded

Some days we all are. It's the human condition.

 

[Law]

He's built his tolerance now, who knows how many eggs he can truly handle.

 

[MediocreMilt]

ephebophile shit, which is basically a pedophile with a thesaurus.

 

[Meat Target]

Nope, but I can identify as vaccine and "jab" you in the ass UwU

 

[Autistic Joe]

why have consistent lore when you can have big boobies

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

Reminder that you eat your vegetables. Not elect them president.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I may not have been DTF but I was certainly DTQuiche for them any time

The "theme" of the wedding is "John and Sue are getting married." It's got a theme already. No need to get ridiculous. The Dr. Who wedding looks like some bad middle school plays I've been to.

I like minority ethnic weddings because they're more likely to have lots of food and open bars.

Bridezillas is such a good trashy reality tv show. I miss it.

Have you ever seen a middle eastern wedding? they sling bullets like they're throwing rice.

So basically what you're saying is that we've solved the Ship of Theseus paradox, at least when it comes to group internet video content.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Both of these groups of individuals are typically lean, thin individuals, the complete opposite of buttergoblins and invading their 'safe' pools and their 'safe' bikes.

Don't try to play. You're a receiver of jabs, not a giver. Now put the cage on your "needle," and bend over so we can see your prolapsed "vaccination area."

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

It's an invasive surgical procedure. It's not like you can put a bowl of Similac or Enfamil by a woman's crotch and wait for the eggs to shoot out.

It's the Wild West without Cowboys & guns but with scalpels & genitals.

Evolution into a potato complete

She’s proud of some fat girl shaving her head on livestream? How low is this bar!?

In today’s world if a teacher says they don’t work for the parents then that is a dog whistle that means that the teacher is trying to cut the students penis off

More valid proof that nigger is a mindset and not a skin color has never existed.

really trying to get that 100 babies challenge done irl when she shouldve just played the sims like fr smh

 

[Aunt Carol]

When I was a teenager we used to love setting assorted dumpsters and what not on fire. There just wasn't a lot to do back then.

 

[Lifeguard Hermit]

I'll stab into your brain like an icepick, and you fucking know it, that's why you try and dismiss me as a liar

 

[Fannyscum]

The hate fuels me and always has. I look at the broken and mostly untalented people coming after me and know for a fact that I'm better. It's not close. To a man, they are cowards, as well.

 

[L50LasPak]

"No, DO NOT ask me out, thats a 1950's larp. You MUST roleplay as Hitlers secretary instead." I just dont think any heterosexual man would react like this to a girl asking them out.

 

[Anne Hyroe]

"It is YOU who wants to be the sissy pansy!"

 

[Zero Day Defense]

Quoting a post does not re-ping the pingee.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I’d just been through 100 pages of death I was mentally preparing for another one!

Astro.com has the birth charts of sEveral serial killers, so supposedly good witches very learned in chart reading and astrology can um, predict, or something, future killer, um, idk it's garbage but pretty funny.

It feels like "cool ideas; average product; retarded PR" is just the standard for the entire industry these days.

bro I'm too operator to bother but if I wasn't I'd pay you 100,000 to fight me irl

Is his brain that lesbian-riddled and horny that he can't comprehend what words mean?

 

[Blackhole]

ALL MY FUCJING HATERS SCARED THEY AINT WANTING TO COME DOWN TO MY HOOD MOTHERFUCKER AND THEY NEVER DO ALWAYS HAPPY TO SAY SHIT ONLUNE AND JERK IT TO THEIR FAGGY HENTAI PLAYSTATION TRAP PORN AND FINDING ALL THESE BITCH ASS NIGGAS NEVER WANT TO SHOW UP PULL UP THEY KNOW I COME DOWN BUT THEY AINT WANT TO FIND OUT....

Is it a coincidence that the honorary Serbian, Joshua Conner Moon, the Milwaukee survivalist militia, Red Letter Media, and the ailing arch weeb, Mr Metokur, have all chosen to release YouTube content on the same day, spaced a respectful distance apart, almost as if this programme of online entertainment was planned in advance - perhaps by those inveterate cockblockers at the Bilderberg Group - to distract from the columns of tanks rolling through suburbia.

When midnight is greeted by a chorus of L30A1 guns delivering their payloads of aerosolised vaccine via 120mm depleted uranium shells, it will be too late to run.

"There is something about discord which inherently makes everything fucking gay." -Null 57:32

"Whatever. I'll eat people. I'm hungry."

don't care, didn't ask, plus you're chinese and female

Designated Shitting Operating Systems.

When was the last time a president nearly started a world war by simply being too retarded to speak properly?

This is a level beyond rent free. At this point I should charge for my presence.

Don't try to play. You're a receiver of jabs, not a giver. Now put the cage on your "needle," and bend over so we can see your prolapsed "vaccination area."

YASS ALZHEIMER SLAY

Cat is never gross. Cat is cat and does as she pleases.

WE ARE SUFFOCATING. WE ARE DYING. *continues to tweet* WE ARE BEING GENOCIDED *heats up a bucket of chicken wings for lunch and returns to computer screen* LITERALLY DYING RIGHT NOW *closes browser window to watch some anime* YOUR INACTION COSTS LIVES *falls asleep in computer chair*

R.I.P. Joe Biden News Megathread
May 4th 2020 - January 24th,2022