random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Return of the Freaker]

This is why you never go public with your company, as you'll lose control and be made to suck BBC on the BBC.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I hate when my personal mockery gets discounted as a soviet conspiracy

Are you preparing for a break-dance battle?

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

The dude in that picture with the flat cap looks like a 50 year old London Cabbie.

You can grift maybe $1000 a day from a family of 6, and they are going be be price conscious (and thus low margin) about fucking everything, OR you can sell weird outlandish larp shit to non reproductive DINK couples for $6000 a day and as long as they can stuff their faces and get shitfaced while experiencing something novel, they are legitimately happy.

It's the easiest business decision anyone has ever made.

The Wiccans aren't doing a good job, they're hurting me spiritually through the astral plane by being so dumb.

They've since been cleared as "Not a cult, just very Asian"

Bro it's clearly a different gym to the one that the redditor posted. I can't believe no one bothered to check before they started spouting this shit.

But the image of some wholesome 100 trooper trying to bribe Russians with their funko pop collection does seem very plausable.

"Redditor unintentionally gives us the real reason why nobody wants to procreate with them."

If you're over the age of 12 and paying even $5.00 for all-you-can-drink blue and green milk then you're legitimately retarded.

Proof, you say? "There were a lot of meat and veggies." Go figure.

 

[Ken Barlow]

Pathetic lol.

 

[Blackhole]

Lolifags belong in body bags

He is worse than an autist. He is, and may Allah forgive me for uttering this word, a Brazilian.

Hairy poossy and the goblet of cheap wine.

Listen here cum-slut, I bet you 5 million dollars that you don’t talk to minors. But guess what? I own 7.

"YOU LOVE THE ROTTING SMELL OF MY TURDS COMING OUT OF YOUR ASASHOLE"

When the milk is running dry on your favorite cow(s), something is always going on in Articles & Happenings.

What's the DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL with CatParty?

 

[Open Window Maniac]

So based on your username, is it fair to assume that you're .01% Clarence Thomas's black dick?

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Especially if you shave them and use foundation and blush.

 

[feral cat #6385]

I have never seen anyone in my life more worthy of being called a faggot.

 

[Mr Bunny]

When nuclear war hits the Amish will reclaim the Earth.

 

[AnOminous]

Now please, kill yourself, retard nigger.

 

[Plaintiff is fat]

"that is not how oopsie doodles works, stalker."

 

[Open Window Maniac]

@Sage In All Fields becuase I can't quote you directly

But what's scarier than women? Black people

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I guarantee you every 4chan tranny has a Discord account, and is a member of at least five different "trans-positive" discord servers.

If this war doesn't end in at least 2 pages of redditors bleeding out this war was for nothing

Sesame Street would have hit different with this as a musical segment about Tuesday.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

*take out emergency cup*
Null needs to spend more on an office like Newgrounds instead of making those hooligans stop sending child porn.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Holy shit, NO, go ride a bike without a seat.

I'd like to see a magic school show, only its depicted more realistic in a reasonable way. Not realistic like "Oh, this is serious, so the MC's gonna get raped in the 1st episode",

 

[Big Scumfuck]

John promised me sheep monsters covered in eyes. Where are my sheep monsters, John?

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Opiate/opioids are notorious for having constipation as a side effect.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

I had to start hiding my powerlevel because my mom caught me being racist against Italians when I was on the phone with my friend.

Please go take a cold shower

Wedding nights in the Islamic world must be like the worst craps game ever.

 

[SCSI]

If society had this idea that I was too stupid to know better, you bet your ass I'd be saying controversial, borderline insane shit on camera all the time and then going "teehee I didn't know what I was saying teehee". It'd be hilarious. That's why I'm cultivating a reputation as the village retard. Once I'm in, I've got it made.

 

[Plague Flea]

“Oh wow you didn’t do chores today because you were injured. Good job.”

From the Kindness thread, here:

View attachment 3046457
https://twitter.com/KindKinkster/status/1500226407158276098 (archive)

Throwing in the capitalism bit at the end made me laugh.