random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

You’re starting to look more and more like a serial killer in a Hollywood movie

My spirit elf was raped in the spirit-world after KF doxed me. Everyday when I’m not fighting Hitler or fucking a dog in the astral world, I weep at the internet bullies who caused my anus to be flooded with semen.

I liked that Toyota Tacoma guy.

Amazeballs, fellow Millenials. Amazeballs.

Daddy issues are one hell of a drug.

Every time I read someone's Twitter bio, I feel like I'm staring into the abyss.

because it is a fun, victimless crime and easy to do.

I've never called him bald.

 

[I am vomit]

I smell like cigarettes and pee... what else do you want

Indians legitimately think they're the only people to ever wear a damn feather on their head.

Maybe Heilberg has a bucket list of crimes he's defended and he hadn't checked off "retard screws his mom" yet.

I'll do one better. I can list the states where it's legal to fuck your mom.

Stop spending your gas money on weed, you fucking fat cuntrocket.

"Keep me healthy!" cried the obese man shoving carcinogenic hormone pills down his throat.

there's no way she thinks that that giant sea hag Punky Brewster is her son now.

Strangling each other is the number one way that woman establish dominance.

Tim embrace inner woman. Tim no like dead name. Dead name make Tim mad. Tim mad, Tim no control actions. Tim smash!

Occult flew out to fuck some sketchy single dad she met over the internet so she could get knocked up and abort the baby.

Listening to this person for more then 5 seconds gives me anxiety. Or cancer. Or both. Not sure yet.

It'll be like that episode of Rugrats where Angelica faked breaking her leg and made Tommy's parents her slaves until they discovered that the doctors accidentally switched her X rays with some athlete's. I can absolutely see Josh making Polissa chocolate pudding at four in the morning because he has lost control of his life.

Did that guy take a fucking line of coke before filming?

I'll tell you exactly what trannies and Zelensky have in common. It's their ability to take people who might otherwise be sympathetic to their cause and somehow make them so disgusted that they want nothing to do with you.

How Chris came up with the idea that he was qualified to be an air quality control chemist is beyond me.

You almost died because you didn't have a colouring book like Polissa

Null told me my feet were the cleanest and prettiest he'd ever seen. He demanded to know what soap I use and guessed correctly, that yes I do moisturize. He complimented my evenly trimmed, perfectly curved toenails. He smiled from ear to ear with delight and said the length was just right. He told me he'd framed the picture and put it on the ceiling above his bed so every night as he drifts off to sleep after a glass of warm milk and chocolate chip cookies, he can fall asleep to the sight of what he himself called, my heavenly feet.

 

[SuperShibuyaFighter]

Joe Biden is better at being Donald Trump than Donald Trump.

 

[Mr Bunny]

Drag queens are doing war crimes now? Well, Story Hour sure did escalate quickly.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

I don't care, I want to be racist

 

[Skitarii]

I will turn a convertible into a nigger

I'm still not entirely sure how on Earth my kid brother got away with watching this with my tradCath parents sitting next to him.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

"slam your daddy dick in my mommy pussy"

 

[Dork Of Ages]

https://twitter.com/julie_neuhouser/status/1554162041736138752 (archive.md)
https://twitter.com/julie_neuhouser/status/1554162165103284224 (archive.md)

"I really don't understand the mentality of treating Kiwi Farms as an existential evil that no one should have anything to do with but not Lockheed Martin, they *both* only exist for people to die"
"all the people that Kiwi Farms has driven to suicide? That's like less than one Pakistani wedding party for Lockheed"
https://twitter.com/EmeAquiFlores/status/1554162591106306048 (archive.md)

"What if the guy who does the coding at KF needs health insurance?"

 

[Stormer_1]

Please please please cameo a kiwi farmer who misgenders the fish and goes on an incel tirade or something then gets his shoes roasted by team alphabet for spreading hate and vitriol instead of aids.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

I just wanted to say that I'm on the verge of passing out and I thought this was about the Virginia Tech shooter.

 

[Meat Target]

Everyone in this thread is a fed, including me!

 

[veeeeeeeee]

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/hyojin-choi-squizxy-squizzy.126169/post-12604412

You're actually fucking disgusting I've had enough Ed I've fucking had enough im so sick of seeing your wrinkly balls it's so gross I can just remember the smell like it was yesterday do you have any fucking idea how bad your balls smell because it smells like you don't wash the cheese off of them christ it was such torture whenever I'd do the bit of sniffing your balls for a funny because it would genuinely fill my nostrils and be one of the most unpleasant experiences of my entire life it was like sniffing a corpse it's fucking rancid Ed I've had enough your bals go from one ball to stretchy asymmetrical like what's up with that you fucking freak do you have any clue how disgusting balls are and you constantly parade them in my face
fuck you pal

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Finally, we have reached the end.. Stores are nigger-proofing Spam..

Having a Kentuckian laugh at you like you’re a rube has to be a wake up call, right?

You should never mistake herpes for confidence. Porn stars do that all the time.

(this should be the sign over this section of the forum)

A Virgin No More (but with rage all the same)

Reality has a racist bias.

Yes, it is inexplicable that comic books written for children do not feature graphic depictions of anal fisting and horse cock dildos.

Can we please stop with the barely coherent capeshit fanwank articles?

Treating processed pork like video games is not something I had on my 2022 bingo.

Also lol at Aussies for welfare hookers.

Okay you got me I'm a petrol huffing abbo who drinks Foster's and has sex with kangaroos whenever the village elders aren't looking.

If she's right wing, get him into religion to teach him that sex is a sin. If she's left wing, convince him he's a transgender and get him to chemically or physically castrate himself.

A day in the simulacra of life of a souless automaton trapped in an existential void inside an sterile corporate glass cage

Would be funnier if the genders were reversed.

Cringe furry says pagan rights

If you’re not willing to wake up at (or stay up till) 6AM to get your fix, are you really an addict? Maybe you just identify as one.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

Brains does the autism thing and remember about the herpes.

 

[Judgment Boy]

Yeah manually DDOS the UN that will help

 

[Brain Power]

Her pussy was so bad it killed crypto.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

ew gross he jerks off to dead people

 

[WolfeTone]

Kappacoin Rule #711: Reject the incel ideology in all its forms. People are like silver coins: beautiful alone, but better when clinked together to create harmonious music.

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

View attachment 3545989

Help. I feel sick to my stomach after reading about Kelly’s “crotch folds”.

Specifically, I nominate the following choice lines:

I can soap one up, hold two diagonal edges, step over it, and floss my crotch folds for cleaning".

At night I wear them under my boobs folded up for sweat prevention and tuck one under my belly apron and into my crotch creases for the same thing.

 

[Dork Of Ages]

https://twitter.com/TheDreadfiend/status/1554229134619860993 (archive.md)

>"Just stay off the internet" is literally the same as "just don't go to whites only restaurants".