random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Snusmumriken]

I dressed up like a spooky ghost, and now everyone's calling me racist (I am).

it's exactly those three things which keep me fascinated, disgusted and coming back for more. it's like some kind of pink car crash of sadness and depravity I can't look away from.

girl, you've gotta be stinkin' by this point, you should have a death certificate. here's a link to a blank one x

 

[Gentlebastard]

It's made funnier because he's fat.

“No Child” is not a good strategy in a court of law

His detestable testicles has been in the same water that I drink.

Canada is a dystopian death cult

Oh, so when Hitler does it it's bad, but when Canada does it it's totally fine?

I am torn. On one side this is a dick move to do to a random stranger, but on the other hand, it IS pretty funny.

The bride's penis was the reals star of the wedding.

unironically introducing kids to anime should be a death sentence.

It used to be fun to joke about the collapse of society and the West but I'm now convinced we're going to see it in our lifetime.

I've said it before but i think he has a bright, albeit short, future as a mukbanger.

If I had a nickel for every time a porn slag cosplayed as Chris Chan I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice.

So how far from God are we currently?

For all people think this is some evil website, I only wish our philosophy of “if you touch that fecal matter , you’re a retard with poo fingers” would spread more widely tbh.

Oh yea the whole fun is ovendodging the jannies via overt sarcasm

Woah woah woah. I need a minute to process this. Did anyone else know about reddit left wing leanings?

The greatest benefit to scamming the elderly is that they rarely live long enough to hold an effective grudge. Assuming they remember you at all of course.

I have just come to the realization that Hitler was the very first Disney Adult.

I hope god smites you for screenshotting and posting this

Rage, fat boy, rage. Pop that last working blood vessel.

If he was smart enough to know that blocking people and ignoring them is the best course of action, then he wouldn't have become a beloved lolcow.

Gwen Stacy has been trans-coded since the 1980s, you can tell because she dies by hanging in the comics

I remember when you were universally mocked if you pulled the Hitler card. Now it's obligatory.

Sorry that you sat through that but you got a funny story to share now

She needs a therapist but she's a tard and chose you.

 

[demicolon]

Burgers are the superpower of anal.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

How hard is it to just kill more babies? It's not like they're optimizing a cutting-edge jew-killing assembly line.

OP really did just make this post so he could have "Dick Spotwood" in the title, didn't he?

 

[AMHOLIO]

Nuclear grade cope believing that Jazz Jennings is fake and is actually a real girl pretending to be trans with her family:

My conclusion is that the program has been created by autogynophiles to sell a reality that is not and has been used by transphobic conservatives as a source of information.

One of two, either Jazz the character ends up getting married or ends up underground. Of course, the girl who plays it will not die. The character will simply disappear from public life. One day you will see a woman with the face of Jazz Jennings, but carrying a baby carriage and a child in her arms and you will say that it cannot be her since the character is Trans.

 

[MrJokerRager]

I have never once given a single shit about what a company thinks about any social issues.

Do lunatics really think there are people out there who go "I hate jews, niggers, and faggots but Coca Cola says they're cool so I guess they're OK"?

 

[Quickfix]

this bitch put pasta on her vision board what the fuck

 

[KiwiFuzz]

YOOOO WANNA-BE-ARRESTED-BROS WHERE WE AT??? SHOW SUPPORT

Look up Rule 34 Trump to learn more.

Hey pal. I don’t know where you’re from, but this is an american legal proceeding, and we’re gonna talk about black penises and there’s nothing you can do to stop us.

And after you've come back up for air, beard looking like a glazed donut, you realize that no inverted penis could ever produce the same musk that you will be huffing for the next 2 hours.

That Corporate Memphis shit is about as clear a sign something's state-affiliated as Socialist Realism.

I am a biological female that likes dick faggot.

If you can't use your power, is it really power?

This person hit bottom, she said, when she woke up on a deflated air mattress spooning with a drag queen who looked like Ted Cruz.

I dont drink but it's for what ya'd call nazi reasons, not hipster ones

it has decreased my dysphoria just because i now know and am comfortable that i have a dick and i love my dick.

Usually, I wouldn't like to speculate about this involving individuals even in a small population size but repeated trials have indicated that all troons are almost exactly the same so my pre-testing Bayesian probabilities are much higher than with normal populations.

I think two wounds to the chest would be more premeditated than two wounds to the ribs. Then again, I have not been involved in too many random hobo stabbings. Lately.

Let he who has never broken into a daycare asking to be lovingly cared for as a tender infant after digging through a used diaper bin cast the second stone.

I call dibs on the first.

 

[Sprate Header]

Whereabouts does the Fart Arc start?

 

[Meat Target]

It looks like he's constantly going, "durrrrrrrrrrr" with his mouth.

 

[thog]

Eric and Dylan: Losers
Adam Lanza: To smart
Isreal Keyes: Degenerate
Lauren Southern: Pathetic
Vaush: Terrorist
Donald J. Trump: Con-mam
Bad cops: Useless garbage
Stockholm, Name: Liam K."

 

[Haramburger]

if you're gay, you're going to the shadow realm.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Is it wrong that the first thing I tried to google about this guy was "early life"?

 

[Meat Target]

I feel that the next person that calls genital mutilation “gender-affirming care” should be given a new asshole and made to shit into a bag. Call it something like excretion-affirming surgery.

He was either going to be a rodeo clown or murder some people.

 

[notafederalagent]

I never thought I'd have to qualify an opinion with "Maybe I don't watch enough porn, but..."

 

[BirdUp]

 

[Meat Target]

Everyone questions their hetereosexuality at some point in their youth

To be fair, KF is probably not an accurate litmus test of normal human development.

 

[thhrang]

"My cringe-ass elderly parents are ignorant to think they can understand my predicament. Do they even know what VTubers or Kiwifarms are?"

 

[3MMA]

You can tell he is a holy creature. His 4 breasts represent the bounty of milk produced. His wiry hair represents the crops sprouting. His hollering represents pigs rutting, bringing forth a new generation of livestock to feed the village.

 

[Spud]

always got these big dog balls flopping around