random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

To be in a book vomited onto paper by one Patrick S Tomlinson. A fate worse than death.

Every single Kiwi should be thought of this way, autists with terrible fetishes. You're included (one of us! one of us!).

THIS IS A FUCKING SHERBET YOU STUPID STROKE BRAINED FAGGOT.

He'll be physically surrounded by the jail, sure, but not for realsies.

This nigga made the trout yogurt from Earthbound

What does he smell like? Please be as specific as you need.

The list of things you can collaterally attack in another court to avoid paying a judgment is short, and "I'm too fat and stupid to understand that I lost" isn't one of them.

Just a simple nigga tryin to post Reddit screen shots to their favorite stalker website while at the fish market.

They should just sentence him to a week. But a week in the electric chair.

He has an amazing talent to make anyone who may be sympathetic to him turn into someone that actively hates him with very little interaction. It borders on being a superpower

If he's smart

Ima stop you right there buddy.

Yeah in hindsight I can see there's likely to be an issue here.

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

Shut your fucking cake hole, nigger. No one wants to hear your retarded bullshit.

 

[MrJokerRager]

و قال الكافرون "اصبحت امراه", فقال النبي "انك لن تكون امراه فل تعلم ان الله و امة المؤمنين يسخرون منك

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

I have no problem with people being racist online, but how fucking dumb do you need to be to use your real name and photos of yourself to do it.
If you are going to be racist at least prove you are smarter than the race you mock you fucking stupid coon.

 

[Jimmy Dean Bowl]

Sorry, in addition to being a munchie, she's a totally unlikeable pretentious fuckstick lodged so deeply in her own vagina that she's wearing her cervix as a hat.

 

[Autistic Joe]

Redditors colonizing SA would be like giving herpes to someone with HIV

 

[Bass_Ackdwars]

We don't talk about the clussy.

 

[Blackhole]

It turned out that Ralph could, in fact, holler over you all day.

The first rule of gun safety is to have fun!

"It feels so invalid to be in a gay dickless relationship"

-sparkles, explosion, and the suspicious scent of baby powder appears-

HIII GUYS, I'm your Nigger Faggot Fairy TransBirthing Person. I've been summoned by three niggers in a post. Who wants my mouth, my front hole, and my back hole?

YOU WON JOSHUA MOON
YOU TRIUMPHED JOSHUA MOON
YOU'RE SMART JOSHUA MOON
YOU'RE THE SMARTEST LITIGANT EVER JOSHUA MOON
YOU'RE A WINNER JOSHUA MOON
HERE'S YOUR $44.40 JOSHUA MOON

 

[MrJokerRager]

Third world means a lot of niggers. Any country with a substantial amount of niggers is by definition third world. The US is the word capital of nigger and nigger worship. The USA is the CEO of niggers

 

[JethroTullamore]

When I was just a little girl, my daddy touched my penis.

 

[Poonocchio]

@777Flux
10:43:18
UNTIL I RUN OUT OF AMMO OR UNTIL I RUN OUT OF BLOOD I WILL FIGHT FOR HOMOSEXUALITY IN BOTSWANA

 

[Positron]

"Compared to ... having a bowel movement during my first anal herpes outbreak, the pain of an orchiectomy is really not that bad."
Story. Dude attempted to yeet his own balls and now he's looking for surgeons to make him a "nullo".

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

Funny how all of this shit happened because one teen was spamming a vid of goonclown jerking off and fingering his asshole with fart-circus music playing.

If the FBI was monitoring my social media, I would do nothing but post goatse.

I mean, at least the child murderers here have better opsec

When Onionfarms get facebook-big the Nigeria subforum will be rightfully seen as a visionary move

 

[RACISM]

Could I delete the first post and all this whole trashfire thread could be undone? can you do that?

 

[Gentlebastard]

So, it was a Barack Obama-Joker hybrid versus a mother.

I still cringe in embarrassment for him that he lowers himself to interacting with Sinseer.

How the fuck do you dox a bakery? Or rather, how does an un-doxed bakery stay in business?

Honestly think that's the biggest forehead I've ever seen. It's actually quite impressive.

now that everyone's trans, personal effort is forbidden. It's all medical procedures and inordinate self-confidence, nothing in-between.

everything has to revolve around sex all the time. No other human aspect is worthy of mention, just sex, Sexuality is the only bar to measure all things

I'm thinking that snacking on a small mole hill of lead paint chips was involved.

Since it's the internet, you can't know for sure that he's not an actual otter behind the keyboard or something.

Titties good. Nigger word bad.

Always assume anything you buy second hand has had shit or worse on it and clean it well.

When i was still very young i got my cellphone stolen and my dad got me a second hand flip phone which still had dick pics on it

the afro disco alien was my friend growing up and I had to fish him out of a dog turd once

"Flip phone dick pics" would be a cromulent username.

I'm browsing Playboy for the articles. I also crank it to loli tentacle rape hentai and do intravenous drugs in public, for some reason I felt compelled to share it here with everyone.

Is there something wrong with this man's mouth and/or teeth that he's trying to hide, or is he just completely incapable of making a normal human facial expression?

Yes.

All the kings horses and all the kings mxn, STILL couldn't put humpty together again and I think people need to start really accepting this.

Oh and God, one other thing, PLEASE let there be video or at least audio so we can all relive the glorious fireworks at our naked leisure.

felony true crime podcasting

A rodeo clown and a guidance counselor make for an odd dynamic in parenting.

Sympathy that lasts as long as it takes for someone to glance at his twitter timeline.

"WHEN WE WRITE ABOUT FUCKING ANIMALS IT'S HIGH ART".

When men watch porn, they're coomers. When women do it, they're intellectuals.

This complete removal of shame, or the idea that some things are wrong, or that you can be trained to find certain stimuli arousing, has been corrosive to society. Make shame great again.

So how long til this is turned into autonomous rape containers?

I'm sorry were you expecting a genuine true and honest hidden cam style picture of two people fucking inside a robotaxi to accompany the article?

I invite the author to go first if it's so important to him. You can do it, I'm sure the good people of Niger won't cut off your hands and tear out your tongue. You're a journalist after all!

If you just want missionary and blowjobs, you're a prude who won't indulge in her fetishes. If you want her to wear a costume of your favorite anime girl while giving you a handjob, you're a sick weirdo who needs to be locked up in a mental institution.

TOTAL
LEAF
DEATH

Spaceballs future? Not on my list of expected, but acceptable.

All things considered, let the world burn. Lord knows we deserve it.

Old McDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
and on that farm he had a thot
E-I-E-I-O

with a thot thot here
and a thot thot there
here a thot
there a thot
everwhere a thot thot

Old McDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I-O

I look forward to these thots in bikinis proving they're strong independent queens who can handle organophosphate exposure.

For some reason, femcels are even more hilarious than male incels.

I can't put my finger on it.

Because its like watching a fish die of dehydration. There's that tang of irony there that makes it funny instead of sad.

I was expecting a tranny thread, and was pleasantly surprised to be wrong.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Jesus even healed a gay man in the bible.

 

[Almighty Space Duck]

The vilification of penises for the idea of a penis-free lesbian life comes from TERF and lesbian separatist rhetoric that has ultimately harmed the lesbian community in general.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I find this shit hard to believe

I don't want to kiss you, I'm firing your dumb ass.

 

[MrJokerRager]

Old McDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
and on that farm he had a thot
E-I-E-I-O

with a thot thot here
and a thot thot there
here a thot
there a thot
everwhere a thot thot

Old McDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I-O

 

[Meat Target]

"Oh, okay, Billy. But don't get attached! We can't afford to bring home another hobo, the backyard shed only has so much space and Patches is very territorial!"