random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Black Man Underwear]

@Ga1v5

you didnt save him from the naked crackhead

total asshole behavior

 

[Skitarii]

Scotland has been gay for like 500 years already. Who cares?

 

[Sprate Header]

Letting a man snort Adderall off your fat rolls is much more dignified than eating ass

 

[Dick Mason]

You either cum in the sink or sink in the cum.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Jesus saw every retarded thing in this fat fuck's life while in Gethsemane, and still willingly died and suffered in hell for all of it. If that's not the very portrait of a loving God, I don't know what is.

I've ruin my rectum and made everyone in my apartment think I'm a degenerate faggot. Checkmate Christian neighbor.

It's exhausting to know that people like this exist.

Those are homemade transgender Peeps; I can tell from the packaging and from seeing quite a few Peeps in my time.

Lmao I wouldn't even pick that if I were trying to insult a Jap. I'd call them a chink instead. Now that would really boil their blood.

It was magical seeing all the confused shills trying to still spam nigger dick fruitlessly, as they failed to process the autism of the rainbow horses talking about why Hitler was right.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

You will learn to like it.
You need this to allow your curiosity to fully flourish.
Please try to enjoy the process.

Free Bleed for Palestine!

I have so many questions and I don't want any of them answered.

I'm sick of various towns in America having the same name. I wanted to come in here and talk about how much I hate Peoria, Illinois but this isn't even that Peoria!

Are we all supposed to just sit here and pretend that Darius Rucker doesn't exist?

Violence etc.

Y'all don't think it be like it is but it do.

This might strike some people as harsh, but I believe everyone involved in this story should die.

Just remember to uh... "vote by mail" just like Uncle Ted.

The UN, WEF, Mossad, Canadian federal government, and tunnel Jews would all send their best squirrel squads to completely and entirely eliminate the evidence and persons involved.

Just noticed I also managed to garble my Jareds.

I reserve the right to terminate this experiment at any time.

 

[Harm]

As a retard, I personally have a heart attack every time someone makes a joke.

 

[Chuck McGill]

get a jewwier bear next time for your example this is fucking unrealistic.

 

[Tablet County]

It pretty much comes down to Deus Vult memes on /pol/ circa 2013 and the image of "Traditional Catholicism" as a fundamentally more enduring and legitimate opposition to $CURRENTYEAR as opposed to say, Pastor Bob's Neo-CalvinoBaptist Snakehandling Church (Est. 2002).

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

mathematicians should be killed.

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

oh sorry

peepeepoopoo niggertroon, dumb butt fart, chrisdumb westdumb dumbler is a julaaayyyy nigger doublenigger niggerfaggot I wuv my kiwi fwens cause nigger videos games poopee movienight buttpat niggunt

 

[Tablet County]

Apparently he's upset rn because his alt account "won't goon" got blocked

 

[Kirk Van Houten]

Urban Dictionary says "pooloo" is either the act of smoking pot or a word moms use for penis.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Cause of death: New York

A chance to see the horror for myself? Not to be passed up. I'd probably want to wrap the cover in something less embarrassing, like Hilda's Household Guide to Horsecocks.

"Im poly, thats not cheating! I cant meet my girlfriends sexual needs" what a flex

Michel Foucault was a horrifying French homosexual (but I repeat myself) but I’d respect Pat a lot more if his favorite work was by that nigga and not by Warner Brothers or Disney.

You’re a fucking lumpenprole aping his intellectual betters. To suggest you’ve ever had a single thought in your life is stolen valor.

the joke is on me for engaging his arguments as if a rational adult made them

someone so fucking fat that thermodynamics gave up and are now sobbing in the corner

Just like in the simulations porn!

How many transwomen does it take to change a lightbulb?
THE LXGHTBULB DOESN’T NEED TO CHANGE, BIGOT, IT IDENTIFIES AS WORKING!!!!

Whatever happened to the lost art of funny and witty porno names? If I ever make a porno, it's going to be about two beautiful lesbian quantum physicists exploring their urges and I'm going to call it "The Double Slit Experiment".

I just wish all these step moms would stop getting stuck. It really seems like an epidemic.

They can't know what you're thinking if you don't.

You can’t decipher my mind because I don’t even know what’s going on in there.

Everybody wants to live the thug life, nobody wants to get facial reconstructive surgery after being struck in the face with a pistol.

I resent the implication we have any mental illness. Sure I post almost daily about wanting to have his ankles chained behind his head so I can forcibly fuck him in the ass while staring him in his piggy eyes Clearfield Pennsylvania style, all while schizo posting about the faTulpa I am trying to manifest in the waking world for esoteric coom purposes, but given the circumstances detailed on this thread its a perfectly sane reaction to him being such a fat faggot (with bitch tits)

I bore witness to this lunacy on my YouTube home page when I was looking for ambient music to put on. Now you must suffer as I have.

View attachment 5870388
I have this set as my alarm clock ring tone.

Hmmm... Needs more elaboration. Can you go into more detail, while being as retarded and condescending as possible?

Kiwifarms is not a river in New Zealand.

Women are fucking weird (dudes are too, but for different reasons.)

There are few types of schadenfreude quite as delectable as knowing you've managed to cause a narcissistic injury to someone that wronged you in the past.

damn his a-logging brother who jerks it to russian women whispering to him

Well shit, guess I'm a white supremacist now. Do they accept yellow-toned Hispanics?

I'm not a Fat Faggot With Bitch Tits dad, look, I have a wife and child!

 

[vomitusdeux]

My bum is in the front
My bum is in the front
Do you like my gunt?
My bum is in the front

A front ass to surpass metal gunt

Fupa balls or GTFO.

Holy fuck she's even got the British Teeth.

Front bum is fat and I wouldn't have sex with her.

She's got a smile like a broken can opener. That is definitely NOT a body to be positive about.

If you can find an animal cracker that has a penis in real life you can make a dildo out of it.

Black Men of America: control your orgasms!

Beauty comes in many forms, but not in the form of front asses.

Obey our yellow sponge.
Obey that pedophile Loud House show sometimes.

I'll bet she's got stretch marks on her like she got run down by a purple tractor.

always reminds me of John Balance, the (superior) gay british musician to fall off a balcony.

That is unfortunate choice of name for someone who fell off a balcony. I'll check him out.

#notallbronies. Not every brony is the sexual deviant freak you think they all are

The obvious follow-up to that would have to be pony-null kicking him in the face.

They cry out in [therapy language] as they [emotional labor] you.

The furries banning a "transwoman" from their deviant ass convention on International Transgender Day of Visibility is pretty funny.

I always love when AR throws out he whole "What if I get pregnant?" line.

"this is the guy posting BNWO" the thread doesn't really go anywhere besides thinking about the psychology of jerking off to interracial porn.

Honestly, if your biggest bragging right in life is that you hang out with Chris-Chan, I think we need a better word than pathetic.

"I may want to have an orgy with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but at least I'm not CHRIS-CHAN."

You have to ask? Have you been in some kind of Rip van Winkle coma?

Somebody remind me, is it more shameful to be banned from a Brony convention? Or to attend a Brony convention?

I can't express how much I adore spadeson for perfectly capturing nigger gooners' physiognomy

It would be really funny to create a weretard.

>chris chan trying to enter BABS
>access denied

I lack boobs and the time.

Also he claims he's bisexual? Looks like he didn't look at that Sailor Moon poster enough.

You will goon in the open, or you will not goon at all

I like how Quiet doesn't like wearing clothes because she's actually a plant which is why she spends all her time in her jail cell with her tits out laying around in centerfold poses. that's the kind of Art you can only get in a Kojima game, friends.

Anything "furry" is nasty. Furry bread, furry milk, furry food..

Some men get off on being kicked in the balls. They are surely the blessed people among us.

Why would you click a link on KF? It's much better to fill in the gaps with your mind.

I knew it once she kept asking me for more Amhole Erotica for wank material.

If you die of AIDS that becomes redundant though.

It's ok if you want to "soul bond" with Chris, bud. I'm not here to judge you.

Good animation and artistic style is a white construct. You're racist to expect anything black to look good.

Of course a male duck would omit the rest of Bully Hunter's post. Corkscrews ain't sexy, Daffy.

What kind of rapists would charge their victims for the privilige? Truly we live in clownworld.

vagina looks like a gap between two uncemented bricks. round anus is much more sexier.

This is the cockroach loving infanticide enthusiast who enjoys cartoon boy rape.

I think a Sagging community thread would be more interesting. After all, what's one wigger sagger?

I'd like to know what the Mario pissing videos are about there and why you took an interest to them

How does one walk like an autist?

 

[eatler]

Do you at least tickle Nulls balls while deepthroating him?

 

[Useful_Mistake]

Edit: I'm gay

 

[Pedophobe]

This story is fake and quite literally gay.

It starts off pretty stupid, then becomes quite breathtakingly stupid, before taking a nosedive into incomprehensible insanity.

As a collective the farms could be considered intelligent, but its not exempt from very stupid people saying very stupid things.

 

[Aunt Carol]

step 1: purchase one (1) bottle of affordable vodka.
Steps 2-6: ????
Step 7: wake up to digital heart stickers.

 

[Tablet County]

Not reading a wall of text that says "cope" by the 3rd sentence.

Thank you for making me read my post again. I have pretty bad dyslexia and forgot my "and seethe".