random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

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I only take a shower if I accidentally shit myself. So like two to five times a day.

“You know who was a big proponent of showers? HITLER!!!”

Next they're going to tell us Yu-Gi-Oh players smell good.

Every day we fail to enact Total Journo Death is a day we stray further from God's light.

Fuck you I am going to keep pretending to be an Alchemist and mix all of the expensive soaps I have when I shower and smell like a floral citrus god.

I swear I could take a steak knife and etch it into their motherfucking foreheads, and they still wouldn't get the hint.

It's weird. It's like I can see what he's trying to say, but he somehow makes it insanely rapey (even if it wasn't).

If only there had been some way to avoid prison, maybe by not raping and murdering a child. or something.

If only...

It's unfortunate he doesn't seem to have a father figure in his life to take him fishing and relentlessly call him a faggot for doing this shit.

Saying "that's cool" doesn't sound nearly as retarded as "Yo dis boffa finna beez neegz on fleek das cray fo' sho"

Its like he was lost in the wilderness and decided to actively fucking gut himself with a rusty knife just so that me may feed the hungry wolves around him his intestines and thus keep them busy long enough for the park rangers to come and shoot them, despite having the option to just stay in a comfy little cabin fully stocked with snacks and beer and free wifi while waiting for the next tour group to pick him up, all while the wolves sulk hungry and bored outside.

Can I play anaesthesiologist?

I don't own a sledgehammer, will have to expense that, but can promise my upper body strength is sufficiently lacking to ensure I don't accidentally cave their head in. I could probably throw in an ice pick lobotomy in for free while I'm at it.

We can cover ourselves legally by stating exactly what will be done in the "informed consent" form they never read anyway. If they do catch on we'll say we wanted to get rid of medical jargon to make it more comprehensible.

I'll even wipe the sledgehammer and ice pick down with alcohol wipes between jobs, it'll be the closest many get to a wash in a while.

I remember page 1488 like it was yesterday. Good times.

last time I tried to round up a bunch of kids in a borrowed bus everyone got mad at me for some reason

Consoooooom, do not clean your house, yourself or anything you own, CONSOOM!!!

I simultaneously feel like I'm about to vomit and be vomited upon.

Who invented the Chimpout? Can a nigger not be given credit?
Cain, you uneducated swine

A loveless marriage with a queer, diseased whore does not constitute a 'Family'.

He used to look like a human being albeit a creepy, untrustworthy one.

Now he is just a disgusting pig monster.

Speaking of tiktok I eagerly await the day when someone comes up with the idea of either washing hardboiled eggs in dish soap or boiling them in nyquil as a cold remedy as a ghetto version of century eggs

It's like he's physically incapable of being likeable, or even just anything besides the most insufferable cunt imaginable.

He shits on people for not providing sources for their statements, then shit on people asking him to provide sources for his claims.

Its easy to see why most people would happily watch this fat faggots head getting crushed like Phil on the Sopranos.

All the fuckwads I see in real life bitching about AI “art” are the same weirdos that poorly draw Pokémon hentai.

May I interest you in NyQuil jello shots

Buying tampons is a mundane activity like buying paper plates or Gatorade. It's not awkward or embarrassing. It's not like buying condoms where I have to ask the manager where the super ultra extreme large ones are and explain that the Magnums are way too small for me. That's actually embarrassing.

Youtube Kids has started to replace "crawling around outdoors digging holes & lighting insects on fire with a Zippo"

Wow, I didn't think he could be more of a retarded faggot than he already is but I was proven wrong again.

"Can you name a single biological trait all men have but no women?"
Gonna guess "Penis" is gonna be too obvious of an answer?
 
What business? He's a cyberbeggar. Larping as Leisure Suit Larry isn't a business.

Yeah, while the eclipse I got was not as neat as the one from 2017, it was still pretty neat. I think Jack's just pissy because his wall eyes make him unable to actually see it. Plus he can't eat it.

Protecting the border gets them shut down faster than a bible club in a San Francisco school.

>when you realize the Battle for Hamburger Hill wasn't what you thought it would be

"Your Honor, I get my news from kiwifarms.com and only kiwifarms.com."

Jack asks us if we can tell if he's excited about this. His confused soy smile already is confirmation that he's at the closest to half chub he's capable of right now.

No Evidence Trump P***ed Gas in Courtroom During Hush-Money Trial
 
Considering you're here mostly for politics you definitely want some girl cock.
He's a fat, greasy, bald, Mexican beaner living in California with a ugly fat goblina wife he hasn't sexually satisfied in fifteen years.
Person above me has a discord account where they have the
"cute"
"i no cute
"ye u r"
"y"
"u just r"
conversation with random trannies, twenty five times a day.
Does it count if you chase them in a Pick Up with a spotlight and a Mossberg?
The person above me has a bumper sticker that says "My other vagina is a penis" definitely gash chasher.
The dude above me does fake fart porn with a whoopie cushion.
The person above me is not a tranny chaser despite having an anime avatar.

It looks like a 90's show and 90's shows were neat.
The guy above me plays as the Smurfs in Warhammer, definitely a trans chaser considering the fact that both trannies and the Ultramarines are on "the right side of history"
Beta male above me was convinced by his pooner wife to become a dickgirl, and now he's on the sex offender registry and is forbidden from seeing his children
I think you have the "really good at STEM autism" and not the "chaser/alphabet person autism".
 
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