random_text.txt

[IamnottheNSA]

He’s not against dead babies, he’s pro Hamas

 

[Kheapathic]

The bible says not to spill your seed on the ground. I think slurping it up from there is implicit.

 

[PetiteFeet]

And if you call yourself "Eris" you may as well put a neon sign on your forehead "Ask me about my penis".

 

[Gentlebastard]

Look, I know dope makes you a horny bastard, but you can't go around fucking kids, it ain't right.

Alright well if he shot a pedophile let's drop the charges, throw him a parade and be done with it.

@Null, if this is where you spent my site donation, I'm 100% ok with it. Mobile farms when?

Just have a truck with a loudspeaker on top screaming "NIGGER" 24/7

This all happened so lightning fast, from 0 to Jewskin Lampshades, just like that.

It is really great to have no horse in this race for once.
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Ain't it just quackin' crazy how everyone who declares Jihad upon the Farms is an unhinged, hypocritical sociopath with skeletons they want to keep in the closet? And yet, we are the bad guys.

Leopards, face, etc.

What the fuck?

This was not the direction i thought this story would go holy shit.

10 am? Lazy retards won't get anywhere starting their drinking that late.

Also come on, you just have to mention a black guy talking about loving monkeys?? You're asking for off-colour jokes to be made, now!

"To go on an obese legal rampage, press 2".

In conclusion: this troon faggot probably fucks dogs.

That dude is a human degenerate pencil with an animal head attatched. Can we please hurry up the apocalypse?

Wearing your husbands comfy hoodie isn’t really the same thing as furtively taking your wife’s leggings to have a wank in though.

After acknowledging her suicide he was a real gentleman and waited a whole month before retweeting tranny porn.

Literally everything about him is disgusting and repulsive.

there's no scenario where a dating sim made by a trans creator depicting an ugly NEET woman who wears hoodies and thigh high socks and clutches a blahaj and lives in a filthy room and has a gaming chair is not trans. The only way it'd be more explicit is if she were waving a trans flag and had whipped her girldick out.

Ackchually, Mew's original Pokedex entry says it was found in the jungles of South America. (I should not know this.)

Dearest Kiwis, I'd like to introduce you to the #tgirl tummy tuesday tag on Troonblr.

Wrong as always, stalker. That is not the conservation of mass. You have been instructed many millions of times to obey the laws of thermodynamics. Continuing not do do so constitutes felony not trusting the science. Enjoy entropy.

I love when the planets align just for the purpose of giving me a sensible chuckle.

How many millions of people have cried themselves to sleep in the knowledge that they will never find a best friend - they will live and die unloved and alone. This one, this utter fucking retard, had the incredible good fortune to find his other half and threw it away like nothing to pretend and coom. Breathtaking.

"Don't deadname me, my real name is my Xbox Live gamertag I came up with when I was 10."

 

[Brain Power]

I'm completely undoxxable.

I use KF in Google browser, incognito tabs, on public McDonald's wi-fi, on the display phones in Apple stores, running homebrew VM software that changes the OS to that of the ZX Spectrum.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

THE PENIS IS EVIL

Someone wants both attention and moral high ground.

If you, following media hype, believed that The Blair Witch Project were found footage, chances are you voted Trump and allowed Hitler to rise in power.

 

[cherrysour]

All lib fems do is dick pander.

very long, dangly, dark roast beef flaps

Then she posted pregnancy lewds. So fuck her. She’s also vegan.

 

[Skitarii]

Leonardo do caprio got his dick zapped by a toaster and it inspired him to paint the Mona Lisa shortly thereafter

 

[Aunt Carol]

Being close to an ex-owner of not one but two whore bars in thailand, I know for a fact that as soon as the ladyboys who work there get the chop, they lose almost all their Johns.

^this one isn't funny but it's a good random fact, like eating a string cheese and the fact on the side tells you something about giraffes.

It works but the aftertaste of raw egg lingers for a while in your throat. I will edit my post to reflect that

Look, I love me some penises -- they're great!

Haha don’t send me any dick pics sillys, I definitely won’t post them anywhere else

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

The ginger genocide is sadder than the Holocaust.

"I got a diaper nigga" is random.txt worthy

All the horrifying pedo shit aside, why the fuck does he have so many $2 bills?

I am treeified to think what will become more normal yet I already know what it will be

Pokeymon autism is a hell of a drug. So is meth.

How many people can say they've sexually assaulted a stuffed animal?

How many people can say they've sexually assaulted a stuffed animal?

I'd be willing to bet a disheartening number of people, unfortunately.

What meth does to a mf

Somehow this is LESS surprising than Chris raping Snorlax.

Now just wait until you read about the man behind that used diaper.

I say the word “nigger” every day of my life and theres nothing anyone can do to stop me.

Rename this thread to "I want to have sex with Miyamoto and Iwata's corpse"

It's part of sex prep for homos who have homo sex with men.

Damn I love being a brown white supremacist then.

Harry Potter And The Dangerous Dildo

Today I learned; Blindness isn't the worst thing to happen to your eyesight.

The real story here is that a mentally ill person brought a pair of testicles into a public ladies room.

My question is-
Did she really have to do it while dressed up as Ash Ketchum?

>nazi cannibals
How can they be cannibals if they're eating things they don't see as human?

I hope everyone in this thread gets armadillo leprosy.

You are on literal kiwifarms

I've never seen moths described as slutty, but it fits

Pokemon in particular is incredibly notorious for getting increasingly more shit over time introducing new features and removing them in the next game. The bright side is most of them suck anyway so you're not missing much.

Do I strike you as a bud light drinker?

What the fuck does Mrs. Doubtfire have to do with raping children?

And FloridaMen raping alligators.

This thread is about men wanting to fuck women and still managed to be one of the gayest things I've ever read.

And on the seventh day God relaxed to black and white softcore porn.

Can we please stop sperging about Richard Simmons?

George Washington would have been raping slave boys just like anyone else and still would call you a nigger faggot.

Airplane seats are so cramped I could touch the people sitting next to me with my dick and this nigga is trying to jack it without anybody noticing.

What a king.

Why did you write this? Did you write this? I hope this is a copypasta

This isn't the human breeding thread.

Some unironically believed in pussy magic.

IIRC the quote was less about being "asexual" reproduction or otherwise and more "he's a fucking kids comedy cartoon character" butI'm too lazy to look up the exact thing right now.

Kaiser, the proud sponsor of the Amhole.

Sir this is a Christian girl Minecraft server.

he's right though. my nipples are hypnotic. i have to cover them with pasties when i get out of the shower so i dont accidentally see them in the mirror. i almost missed an interview once because of these damned things.

I'm sure the War on Masturbation you want to wage will end up as well as the War on Drugs did.

even Amish men have secret phones to watch porn on

VS on life support after losing all those pro-Palestinian lingerie sales

Is this the first time a dead baby race been started online?

You don't get to talk about milking some dead dude and just insult anyone that mentions "hey that's weird" like they are talking about something normal.

ALIVE, YES! You're out here talking about jerking off some dead dude's dick and acting like it's normal.
I'd be mighty careful who you are calling an autistic virgin there bud.

Why do you retards keep talking about jerking off dead cocks? Is this your inner gay coming out? I think this has been repeated like five times now verbatim. Like that's the only relevant thing to you, there is a cock and it's dead and you can't stop thinking about it.

And YES, on some level this is normal. The husband can have the sperm frozen for the future including the future in which he is dead, which people routinely do due to terminal illness. You're chimping out at this like the entire idea is foreign and this is 1890.

 

[Haffhart]

"Why would a series about Dracula have to take place in Romania?" I want to fucking scream.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I've won Star Trek trivia contests against other trekkies.

 

[RACISM]

You literally didn’t read a single thing i wrote did you? You instead go for the most bottom of the barrel ‘lol you shit yourself’ jokes I’ve seen all before. Most predictable fucking response imaginable lol keep seething wagie.

 

[I'm Retarded?]

My pussy drips wet with pleasure thinking about male abuse “victims”.

 

[DiggieSmalls]

You are quite literally fucking retarded if you actually want to film yourself bathing to prove something to people who are saying shit just to make you mad. Where is your tard wrangler? How are you so fucking stupid to not realize that people are saying shit just to make you respond? Take your disability and get off the fucking Internet for your own sake.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Remember to SMASH THAT DISLIKE BUTTON whenever any hint of tranny worship comes up in a video.

 

[Kendall Motor Oil]

"I don't care what a bunch of low-intelligence people think about my innocence," Gariépy told Newsweek.

JF Gariépy
If he's convicted, this would be fun to add to the quote rotation

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

But he'd be digested and shat out. Which is literally what he's worth.

 

[Skitarii]

I'm not a lolcow

Accept your lolcowdom and homosexuality.

I'm not gay, I'm not Greek, I'm not lolcow, I'm not faggot

nobody calls me ''gay, lolcow, faggot, austic', greece'

You are wrong about me Bill, i am not jewish and i am not gay

you're a massive greek faggot for sending dick pics to girls and telling them to kill themselves in the name of Allah

 

[Hitlerswag420]

It's tougher than you'd think to get a decent AI artwork of Shane about to be raped with a butter knife.
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