random_text.txt

[Hamplanet Fitness]

"too bad, you old fart *throws my uterus in his face*" -Stephanie Cianfriglia, to the Pope

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Jesus fucking Christ, I'm away from the farms for two days and Thomas starts naming his Schizophrenia-caused imaginary friends.

 

[Rise]

dude I once like sucked the poop back in and out and when I finally stopped teasing it I kept cutting it off as it left me so it stayed in me longer

Courtesy of a TikTok comment section.

 

[NigKid]

He's worse than a tranny he is, may allah forgive me for what I'm about to say. A journo.

 

[Law]

Well, the devil is one thing, but the long arm of the law? It has the devil beat by miles! The devil has nothing on the police!

 

[Meat Target]

So it'll be just like Second Life and you'll be "terrorized" with flying rayciss penises.

 

[Local Fed]

I do not like Charlie Kirk. His smug aura on Twitter mocks me.

Tommy Tooter's mom died. He sperged out playing a song for her on his recorder, then proceded to have a coughing fit for 5 min. In his eulogy video he talks about space jews.

I'll never forget when Tim had Steve Rene on Beanie IRL. Steve was talking about how he witnessed his friends dying and seeing people getting blown in half by RPGs and then Tim bragged about how he's traumatized by LiveLeak videos for several minutes.

I mean there's wanting to exaggerate your ancestral trauma for pity points and then there's buck breaking, I feel like there's a line somewhere.

Ignore the schizoposters at your peril.

How humiliating is it to send a girl a picture of your penis only to receive the response “Latino pp”?

My favorite of the fat people ornaments: just a whole stick of butter.

Yesterday's hate filled conspiracy is today's "and this is why that's a good thing."

This is a certified 冰淇淋 moment

You have no idea the suffering you have unleashed on people stupid enough to follow internet politics.

I used to be joking, but now I seriously believe "fat acceptance" is a USDA conspiracy.

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

Holy shit dude. Just rope.

 

[thisighuf]

Another quote by Sinseer to live by, 2004-2006 era

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

THAT MAN HAS A FLASHBANG UNDER HIS BEANIE, OPEN FIRE!

Oh sure, but when I try to name my business "No Niggers Allowed Ranch" suddenly there's a problem.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

1) launder money through gofundme
2) purchase pitbull puppies
3) ???
4) Profit!

 

[Tard Police]

I don't understand how someone goes "Is that the doorbell? Maybe my $1000 fart jar has arrived wooo!" Maybe the Nazis were right after all?

It's called "The Internet" and you'll find plenty of degenerates that would buy a jar of old lady farts to sniff while they wear a pony outfit and jerk off into a sock puppet.

Yes, sunglasses somehow obscure your ethnicity.

That's a lot of words just to say, "I'm a faggot."

why not wear one of those cone hats they wear out in the rice paddies? Really shove it in everyone's face how you know the proper pronunciation of the surname "Nguyen" as you suck down your beef noodle soup? Side effects may include being punched in the face by a black man.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I'm also going to autistically add here that I really think things like modern internet culture and technology have contributed to people wanting instant gratification like I guess some of us were old enough can kind of remember a time before this even when the internet was fucking slow and the sounded like a space station before an aircraft launch before you got to fucking log on.

It's like journaling therapy but it actually makes you a worse and more maladaptive person.

After searing my eyes with pics of Wedge's toob moobs, Neck's senpaku eyes, and Kevin's amhole, I like to look at pictures of J.K. Rowling's yacht to cleanse my visual palate.

The Little Mermaid is a metaphor for troons and you can't convince me otherwise.

It's about someone making trying to be something she's not to fuck someone, suffers extremely because of it, still can't fuck the prince and at the end she's so depressed she kills herself. A perfect fable about trooning out.

 

[Blackhole]

>expecting a fair election in a banana republic
Wew Lad

My brother is a top-secret black-hat hacker who hacked into your IP and my cousin is an NSA agent who kept tabs on your browsing history. They both tell me that you have 50,000,000GB of gay porn on your computer.

challenge accepted: try every donut before doing an epic backflip off the empire state building

Jan. 6 House Committee is the biggest nothingburger in the history of nothingburgers. It's going to set a new world record for nothingburgering by the time it's done.

All I want for Christmas is a bureaucratic civil war, is that too much to ask for?

 

[Autistic Joe]

He's such an unattractive and pathetic nonce that even he won't fuck himself.

 

[Tard Police]

Damnit, stop trying to make me think the French are based.

"Hey guys, the military and police are abolished! Now we can fuck fat hobos!"
~ Hot 19 year olds

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I was going through some older parts of threads that I hadn't read before, so forgive me for posting some seven year old quotes.

Does that wolf have tits?

Allow me to try to transcribe the noise I just made:
Hhhhhheeeeeeeeuuwwwggghhhmmrrrrgghuuhh.

This thread makes envy the blind.

I did that and just read through someone's 80+ page "masterpiece" about sonic getting Amy pregnant.

To be fair, that Lapras thing is something I would have totally loved to take in the pool as a kid. Not the fox with boobs though. That one kind of scares me.

BluePussy has a blue, circumcised, dick. I kind of wonder why they thought of that detail, but I'm not sure if I want to know the answer or not.

I need a spaceship to get off this planet.

Then it turns out Wario raped Luigi.

Nothing hotter than a 12 year old hedgehog girl slicing her own feet and salivating to eat them.

Homestuck makes everything worse.

At least Sonic isn't endorsing Nazism.

Knowledge is a virus and it was transmitted to me like it was for you.

I got vertigo looking at the neovaginas
Jesus

Is this man suffering? Though from the outside such a life may appear wretched he knows nothing of what he lacks; this is simply what he is. The branded mindset is not something for therapy to fix, it is not a disorder; it is a mode of being. What is really keeping these people from "a more fulfilling life"? The family still exists —despite the best efforts of state actors, community is now more accessible than ever thanks to telecommunications, and the range of available constructive pastimes and occupations has only grown. Pick up an instrument, a chisel, a brush! What keeps men from these things but a lack of desire?

Can't believe the shrek community is being treated this way..

Every single adult Disney fan I know was sexually abused as a child.

Just stop posting in this thread you fucking nigger.

On the topic of normalization, how many years are we from the Razer Chroma Gaming Catheter? TIRED OF SOILING YOUR $1k GAMING CHAIR? PEE IN RGB!
It'll happen, believe it.

That doesn't matter, what matters is that it's transparent so people can watch while you shove bottles up your ass for below minimum wage
In our modern neoliberal utopia you get to choose your hours and the shape of the bottles WOOOO EMPOWERMENT!

Praying for my nigga, hope he made it to the great train station in the sky o7

At this point Funhaus should be the new name for the Ship of Theseus.

@NoReturn said:

Believe it or not, taking to @PrimoVitorio made me realize something recently: Namely that this new generation of people online are coming from a completely different cultural background than the rest of us.
Internet culture 1 -
"People are reacting negatively to me! Guess what I said wasn't insightful or funny enough."
"My post got deleted! What rule did I break? None? Well fuck you too, Janny."
Internet culture 2 -
"People are reacing negatively to me! What a much of racist/sexist/queerphobic assholes!"
"There are no Jannies. There is only faceless corporation who never interacts with me directly. They only send automated messages. This corporation is basically a god."

 

[Haffhart]

How that person got through life surrounded by Nazis I've no idea - I guess he didn't leave his room or he might catch Fascism from the cat or something.

I once mentioned offhandedly that I thought the free market may be the best solution to an engineering problem [...] and the one-man rapid response autism squad burst into action.

(two separate random.txts from the same post)

 

[Spez]

I was going through some older parts of threads that I hadn't read before, so forgive me for posting some seven year old quotes.






















Believe it or not, taking to @PrimoVitorio made me realize something recently: Namely that this new generation of people online are coming from a completely different cultural background than the rest of us.
Internet culture 1 -
"People are reacting negatively to me! Guess what I said wasn't insightful or funny enough."
"My post got deleted! What rule did I break? None? Well fuck you too, Janny."
Internet culture 2 -
"People are reacing negatively to me! What a much of racist/sexist/queerphobic assholes!"
"There are no Jannies. There is only faceless corporation who never interacts with me directly. They only send automated messages. This corporation is basically a god."

I dont get why i was quoted in this

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I dont get why i was quoted in this

I thought your comment was funny.