random_text.txt

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

no, you.

 

[Piss Bear]

"Rarity Eats Spaghetti - Chapter One, Rarity Boils Water and Gets the Meatballs Ready"

 

[Aunt Carol]

So much in this world is 'assnapkins'.
But, I aint the king. Let them have fun.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

>I somehow still have too much dignity left to do that.
>And yet, here you are.

@RazorBackBacon supplied the second part of this.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

His mangled, lost genitals are indeed undead and wandering the forests of British Columbia, craving the flesh of teenagers in death as in life.

In the darkest part of the night, the lost clit stalks the moor in search of its balls. And when the moon is rising and the wind is just right, you can hear its tortured moan for waxing service.

 

[Mr Bunny]

They pivoted to such degeneracy as the Glory Hole for "safe sex".

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

Straight from the Better Homes & Gardens, Trailer Park edition

OMG BIDEN BAD CHRSITAMS RUINED, something something Nigger Santa.
There now i fit in with the lunatics in this place.

Seems kinda pointless, why would ISIS attack Jack? That'd be like one of us attacking null, then they wouldn't have their tard shepherd giving them a place to rant about Jews online

This is the fetish of an administrator at the school and you can't convince me otherwise.

"That gender non conforming child who just happened to be assigned male at birth is uncomfortable in trousers, let's let them wear a skirt".

"Gendering clothes is sexist and enforces traditional gender roles. All boys should be allowed to wear skirts if they want to".

"Wear the skirt or you're a bigot, boy".

How do you know my pants don't identify as a skirt?

I'm very grateful for that dummy thicc mountain range between me and the West Coast.

 

[Sneed's Feed And Seed]

This site doesn't discriminate based on political beliefs. It discriminates on how retarded you act.

 

[Autistic Joe]

I know that the left makes fun of people who like guns as ammosexual but I don't think they had this in mind.

 

[Hepativore]

"Stop period-shaming me! I demand my right to #freebleed here at the public pool!"

 

[thisighuf]

 

[Pizdec]

I’m not even going to ask questions, I don’t want answers. I just want the mental images to go away.

 

[Law]

His praise of that western piggu hogwash offends me as I literally finished watching Cowboy Bebop today.

This had me rolling. What a gem.

 

[Aunt Carol]

All you need is an infant goat and questionable ethics.

 

[Hitman One]

Seasons are a social construct created by cis, heteronormative, capitalistic chuds as a means to oppress sapphic and valid trans women. The only way to usher in the socialist utopia were trans rights are human rights is to do away with problematic concepts such as the calendar and weather forcecasting

 

[FramerGirl420]

Old but I think it deserves a spot.



“I hate how I jiggle when I jerk off. At one point my page didn’t load and I got a look at myself in the reflection of the computer screen and it was just gross. “

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Cucked by the almighty almond again.

You either die a tranny or live long enough to see yourself become Earl.

In theatres January 2022.

 

[Blackhole]

I guarentee most, if not all of the people making this thing are whiter than a Kenny G concert at Whole Foods.

does that make dum dum bullets a /k/ommando's first sex toy?

"Little Johnny, I know you're confused right now, but you're just fine the way you were born, and you shouldn't try to be someone you're not."
LITERAL TERRORIST PROPAGANDA.

"Breaking News: WHO makes a realization anyone looking at the data figured out a year ago"

that hellhole will keep going as long as they dont ban porn, people will ignore human right violations as long as they get big fat titties on their timeline

Not even the Great Removal or the Global Plague can stop niggers from nigging. Amazing, really. Savages to the end.

Fat fucks commonly have their dicks retract back up into their body never to be seen again.

Chris Chan is to Christianity as Family Guy is to the Simpsons.

What will they do? I don't know, but I bet it'll be hilarious.

trudeau tongues yaniv's anus

 

[UncleTusky]

Juliana "J" Aprileo / ComfyFatTravels has given us some great contenders on her blog:

Have you ever felt personally victimized by your shower?

The thought of having to suffer through showering forever leaves me feeling broken.

Plus one which is hilarious but might be too long for random.txt:

Being cramped in a tiny, slippery space while trying to acrobatically reach each glorious roll has been everywhere from exhausting to dangerous.

 

[Mr Bunny]

It was being caused by the three "H"s

Heroin, homosexuals, and Haitians.