random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Black Man Underwear]

@Feefee81093

Fact is, there's no shortage of retards

@Crocodylus Acutus

I always send it back to the restaurant, so it can breed bigger waffle fries

What's the market like for pics of an autistic lesbian covered in self-harm scars and cockroaches?

 

[Moths]

It's gotten so bad that I stopped watching porn with women in it.

 

[BirdUp]

we could handle the poo plate but none of us were ready for the shitwich

 

[Gentlebastard]

Never let your heroin addiction be an excuse for not eating good, kiwis.

Wait a second, isn't heroin bad for you?

Don't be lied to by Big DEA, heroin is extremely safe and healthy. Smoke some dope every day and you will live forever.

"a cozy evening at home boofing dope, coke and ketamine" is one of the funniest things i've read in a while

I just simply would not do that because I'm not a retard.

That's some sexy abscess fluid there

the cottage cheese really sells the dying tissue element to the horror

Always gatekeep your hobbies, even if it’s doing drugs

Good old fashioned jerking off feels good, but my dick keeps getting in the way.

Accessibility is for the handicapped.

The longer this goes on the less sense this makes.

Narcisism is one helluva drug.

So... what were you doing at a furry convention?

I'm 73% certain this didn't happen and the OP was jacking off while typing it

My mom used to call niggers "porch apes"

I find I have to pause a little between the words to say that clearly. "Porch monkeys" is better, the syllables flow into each other nicely.

Age 27, and talking about being "in trouble" with anyone other than cops/feds. Sharing a bedroom with an adult brother, and sniffs his bedding. Trooning out. It's a miracle this person doesn't have a thread here already

Bitterness, arrogance, twitter and pepperoni making really take a toll on a man.

 

[mrfresh]

scandinavian incel prudes

 

[Haffhart]

...Now I'm wondering if they ever made live-action Anne Frank porn. There was an uptick in Holocaust as well as Nazi pornos in Israel way back then until the authorities told them to cut that out because its getting out of hand.

 

[Tablet County]

He literally fought harder to reconnect with his fucking lawn chairs than his own daughter

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Another win for trans visibility

Maybe submit a Boeing whistleblower submission using every Haitians name and let things play out as they will?

At this point I wouldn't be opposed to just giving the place to Coca Cola and letting them sort it out using their traditional methods (hiring mercenaries)

Haiti is like the Sonichu medallion of colonial possessions, no one wants it.

> be a deity
> create rational beings
> put them on a planet with incredible resources
> give them free will
> they say, "Thanks, but we're just going to jerk ourselves off and go extinct"
> mfw

Of course that fat mong thought it was okay to fed a baby mountain dew fuck. I drink mostly mountain dew and I would never share it with a fucking baby. I wonder if she planned on feeding it via IV dew bags next. Why even mix it with baby food mixture everyone knows mountain dew has the daily requirements of 3 or 4 meals depending on what countries meals your basing it on. Hell it's probably equal to 10 North Korean meals

Worthless trivia seeing as it's 10 years defunct but the tripcode pass is #ilovetit

All I said was that I thought you should kill yourself. Now I am asserting that you should kill yourself.

We really, really, really, really, really do not need more belligerent, retarded, politically mindraped, angry-all-the-fucking-time, sperging-about-politics-is-my-only-hobby FAGGOTS.

I guess the apocalypse makes everyone a badass.

 

[Moral Decay]

As the journalists aged out and died they'd be cremated and their ashes vitrified and stored on site, in a manner very similar to nuclear waste.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

you got really excited at the thought of fags pooping in each others mouths, and the only turnoff was the realisation that it's not real?

$1,000 paypig button to give the exact coordinates of where it's being fil ex to the Russian army so they can drive a T-90M tank through the wall and run everyone over.

Pretty sure he's a nigger-toad hybrid. A gay nigger-toad hybrid. He’s also from outer space, thus making him a gay nigger-toad hybrid from outer space. But you can call him gay nigger from outer space to shorten it.

 

[Jason "Qriist" Close]

I'm familiar with Asmongold from his clips channel. Does he hit himself?

YES to the constitution and founding fathers, NO to judge Fischer's alcoholic pussy juice

balldo of justice will not be lubed

Everything about this situation seems to have the involvement of God in it and riding a person of literal demons or banish them to hell seems like something God would do.

having one of them be the lawyer for both is a mess that nobody wants (except possibly the moronic coke head and his ceiling cats)

Very satisfying timing, and indeed, very much like a realtime smiting of a villain almost immediately after he earned it.

Archive everything.

He can pozload my neghole.

Deer are fucking majestic.

 

[Tablet County]

Aw fuck we're back on butter talk.

Is it really cucking if it’s mutual?

 

[Johnny Salami]

don't post porn (or even worse soyak porn).

 

[Gog & Magog]

I AM GOING TO PAINT A FAKE TUNNEL ON A WALL SO THE PRESIDENTS MOTORCADE THINKS ITS A REAL TUNNEL AND THEY CRASH
Now thats how you fedpost

@SandyHooker

 

[Kalsarikännit]

Hell I even tried to offer unbaptism to him to free himself from the cult of sky daddy.

Yeahhhh…apparently he is too brainwashed in his cultist ways of christianity and refused to see that satan/Lucifer was actually a chill dude.

@JustaBatto95

 

[Jason "Qriist" Close]

Your honor, my client, the SS Nicholas Rakeita, is a private vessel not for hire, travelling the high seas of middle America, and therefore this court has no jurisdiction over the case.

jack "dildo my ass on camera and write articles about how my wife fucks other men" murphy?

EDIT: I tried attaching the file to this post, but for some reason it didn't work. I apologize for my technical incompetence.

Have these spaghettios, I'm gonna go bang your mom.

Considering how hard it is to keep this site up and running because of the troons, if Null was even a quarter as coked out and dysfunctional as Nick, KF would be dead and you wouldn't even be able to mock him properly.

Wil Wheaton's sloppy seconds, no thank you.

Is this something I dreamed up or am I retarded?

How on earth can you get anywhere near an erection with Wesley’s shiteating grin popping up every few minutes.

Hillary Clinton-level conspiracies to take down Nick Rekieta, powerful man, lol

Rush Limbaugh or RDJ didn't abuse children during his pill addiction, Joe.

But how can he be suicidal when he hasn't even started transitioning yet?

Would you ever imagine we would reach the point where Jack Murphy seems somehow less of a degenerate? The entire Right Wing Man-o-sphere is naught but closeted degenerate perverts. All of them.

Once they are done with their criminal cases, they are in for the wonderful purgatory that is family court system.

You don't hate lolberts enough.
You think you do, but you don't.

I can't fap to this.

I'm trying, here. How can I hate them more completely?

April is a dead eyes casino hustler

We know Hunter has a huge cock and it actually works, unlike Balldo

Please feel free to call me a nigger and a faggot if this was brought up before in here. As it's known, this thread moves THAT fucking fast.

Retarded asshole, right place/right time.

Farms>Kino Casino>Lawtube>Supreme Court pipeline established.

Only 50 hours a week? Fucking pussy, when I was in my heyday I did 50 hours a shift.

She is dumb retarded, I am instead Kiwi Retarded (good)

One of my biggest mistakes was looking into how the Balldo works, and what people call "ballgasms."

While I play catch up on the last eleventybillion pages, can someone explain the snow angel thing?

Aaron said he and Kayla ran outside to make snow angels after fucking, at some point. Addendum to that story, April walked in on them after to request dick pills for Nick.

not signing a non-canon image of Full Metal getting dicked up the ass by the Fuhrer was apparently super problematic

Prison is the ultimate Balldo and a free detox clinic. There are also no ceiling cats.

"Wake the fuck up, Jack, we have a balldo to burn!"

All Vic has to do is say "I'm disappointed in him and I hope he gets the help he needs" and Nick's going to take it as a knife to the heart.

Next thing he should wear that hat for is eating a fucking salad.

how does a law man family man religious man from a small town in Minnesota gets access to cocaine?

Nick: King of Cucks
Ron Soye: CUCK
Aaron: Mammoth cuck
Ty Beard: CUCKED HIMSELF
Kurt: Perfect Gentleman CUCK
Legal Mindset: Lord of Cucks

It's like it's a fucking MONOLITH OF CUCKS! They're ALL CUCKS!

Vic is just a well meaning but horny Mediterranean man. His kind built empires.

Aw fuck we're back on butter talk.

Lawtube are a very ethical buncha fellas, and I wish them all a million unconstitutional warrants.

Aaron is a fucking pussy. He got cucked by NICK REKIETA. He literally got CUCKED by NICK.

And before you get on my ass for my join date, I actually joined in 2018 and lost my account due to my own stupidity. Cease your faggotry.

Sacred cows make for the tastiest burgers.

"I just can't explain the differences between Nick and Hunter Biden. It should be obvious. I just can't explain the difference though"

it's not about finding a YouTuber that aligns with my beliefs, it's about having an e-daddy

He crashed into the mountain, got out of wreck, and is now trying to dig to China.

Rackets is blacker than Drex and Bibble combined

the Church should use religion as a cudgel to brutalize degenerates back in line with conservative societal norms.

“YUH HAWNUH, I PLEAD NOLO CONTENDO! NOW LEMME GET A SIP OF YER VAGINA LIQUOR THERE, BISH!”

EVS: "We don't know what that powder was on his nose. I didn't see anything... It could have been powdered donuts for all we know!"
CAMELOT: "Yeah but Dunkin Donuts doesn't make you lose 60lbs buddy."

no one, anywhere, has ever gotten bruised by a limp dick

 

[Potato Burrito]

No more worrying about my dick falling out of a harness and hitting my foot or the harness smelling like ass.

 

[JustSomeDong]

If you post nudes we will believe you and respect your pronouns and apologize for being mean. I pinky swear.

 

[Drip Torch]

My name is Amanda and I’m quite literally clearly a female and a woman

 

[Guest123]

I DO NOT HAVE STUBBLE AND I AM NOT A MEXICAN!!! I FUCKIN HATE MEXICANS