random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Procopius]

The selection pressure humans are under is not that strong, but still my intuitions expect that 400-800 years is enough to see moderate psychological changes.

Ashkenazi Jews are confirmation of this: 800yrs isolation+selection for success in financial jobs, resulting in increased intelligence, particularly verbal intelligence (with the side effect of several genetic diseases).

Everything to Save It

 

[Anne Hyroe]

It's like stealing candy from a retard. They won't remember in 30 minutes anyway.

>I recognize those shit stains
I hate this thread.

He's some Filipino emo 45 year old who teaches English in Japan and lives in a graveyard.

IP2 is, as ever, a melting pot of friendship faggotry

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I’m not removing my penis from your ass.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

@BargainBinLadenEchidna’s have four headed penises so I bet you think you hit the jackpot but alas, they can only ejaculate one at a time.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

i'll admit, "centipedes in MY vagina?" and "i've been dead for seven years" are such absurd things to say to a (presumed) stranger that i breathed a little harder out my nose

 

[／Ｏｕｒ Ｌａｄｄｉｅ／]

Hopefully bird seed isn't his last meal.

 

[vomitusdeux]

Diaper Fonzerelli, a friend of Pamperchu through the Babyfur and ABDL community, uploads a video memorial dedicated to Pamperchu:

If you're seriously going to sit here and discuss the logistics of robbing someone's grave I think you need a break

Piss, pus, what's the difference when it comes to gender surgery amirite

A Buddhist who references the Bible, has a cross tattooed on his face, and (allegedly) now goes by the name "Satan Sent Me."
Yeah I think his only actual religion is meth.

I volunteer. I read to special needs kids once, so I know how to deal with retards.

imagine having to suck dick so you can get the chance to suck dick

I think forcing Japan to surrender at the end of WWII under the threat of Atomic Hellfire broke something in the Japanese national psyche.
They had a Warrior culture that saw surrender as the ultimate shame, something so bad that at Okinawa women were throwing themselves and their babies off cliffs rather than surrender. They also saw their Emperor as a living God, and then we glassed two of their cities and McArthur made Hirohito get on his knees and suck his dick and beg for forgivness (ok not literally but to the Japs national psyche it was as good as).
So you had this death before dishonor warrior culture that finds itself utterly humilated, their living God turned into a bitch, and to add to the injury they were forbidden to even have any army at all by the new constitution forced on them.
So all these centuries of pride and tradition were erased with the stroke of a pen.
They were lost, so they turned to throwing themselves into work. Work and cooming and the more they felt isolated by Salaryman Culture and the more the birthrates went down the more they turned to cooming, and it got worse and worse, till now they're such an island of weirdos they have to have female only trains because they have perverts that take advantage of being crammed like sardines to dry hump womens legs as they are trapped, and the "keep your head down, dont stand out" culture means no one speaks up.
They've become a lost and increasingly degenerate nation, with the highest suicide rate of any industrialized nation on Earth, but their getting their own back because coomerism is contagious, its a mind virus, and with the rise of the interconnected world facilitated by the Internet, they're getting their revenge for Hiroshima by spreading and infecting us with their gross anime coomer shit.
You couldn't make this up lol

Please don't.
I also slid into her™ DMs and sent a dick pick. Then she™ sent me hers™.
I broke down and cried like a janny on payday, when I saw her™ dick was bigger and her™ balls had thicker veins.
Don't shame me any further, my brother in simp.

also i learned i may not be as neurotypical as i suspected

You guys are just jealous about the upgraded vagina with a built in shit deflector. Now he can continue to wipe back to front and all you can do is seethe.

I sometimes see the extremely wrinkly ballsack vagina lookin fellas think "how could you knowingly get that done. That's clearly balls." Then this fucker comes along looks like he started with a completely flat crotch region that they had to drill into and put a little slit at the top for pressure relief or something. That's absolutely bizarre. Especially no sign of attempted covering/protective skin of any sort.

These would be less unsettling if they literally just punched a hole in the dude's perineum.

The attempts to create ridges and folds look so monstrous. There's a butcher shop near me that sells ground pork sausage by the pound, and in the sausage display case, they've sculpted little pig faces with the ground meat. It's supposed to be cute but I think it's a bit morbid. Anyhow, the ground pig meat looks more like an actual pig face than the ground-up man meat looks like a female punani.

The pale skin of the subject and gaping hole just makes me think of cleaning out a turkey for Thanksgiving. Especially the bottom part, the scrotum tissue looks like bumpy skin where the feathers would be. Fuck I need shots of vodka after seeing this one.

Most nitpicky shit ever - why is there a hole for the belly button? Does anyone find that sexy?

Welcome to the farms. We're all retarded down here.

"Alright Kat it's your turn to snake the amhole"

Fuck I just defended California someone please murder me.

You're saying it's his turn to suck the cock? Eye for an eye and all that

Well, him being black would probably explain alot.

Rancher is our word, but you can say Rancha.

I'll bet you $50 you can't drink a full glass of this fine cheese.

I got start taking my meds again. I'm shitposting with imaginary people again.

>A zoomer gets absolutely BTFO'd for trying to make online friends
>Byuu dies a second time (for reals this time)

Lordy, the nipples are not even the right size, and holy hell, I think even I could make the incisions more symmetrical. I never understand why these gender blobs are gung-ho about getting a botched mastectomy due to 'muh dysmorphia' but are not dysmorphic about being a fat fuck.

I just showed my grandma this. She asked WHAT IS THAT?! I told her and she covered her face with her hands. She said that’s nasty. Don’t look at that mess. Lmao

One nipple's fishin and the other one's lookin for worms

The big pulpy self harm mess in your underwear is just that.

Little billy, youre grounded for 2 months because you installed Freddy Fish on the family computer and got my A-lawg site compromised.

Is she gonna twerk and play the flute for the trannies so they can get laid or something?

I was fine with the packers, I was fine with the ear gauges, I was even fine with the retarded hairstyle. But fucking crocs? Worst Man Ever.

Oh yah I forgot that Chris was Jesus.

Fags will be breeding like zealous catholics

That dog's anal virginity is even more of a foregone conclusion than Twilight turning up alive.

All that jizz down its the throat is going to accumulate and gum up its parts and collect mold and bacteria that will hopefully result in a lethal infection.

I bet in that room, it smells like old cheddar lobster biscuits and motor oil.

Except no one wants to penetrate that hole.

Maybe a nose job if you have a giant Jew honker.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

...Wait, what is it with British men named Jim?

So much fat. So many trannies. So. Much. Horror.

 

[Big Nasty]

From the trials and tribulations of the world's ugliest man:

his penis suddenly expanded and he was rushed to the hospital

 

[Snusmumriken]

tfw you keep getting arrested for necrophilia and are sick having it brought up in interviews over and over and over like it's some big moral taboo or whatever idk who cares like, fuck it. next tat inspo

 

[Zero Day Defense]

Always get tested before engaging in consensual Minecraft modding.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Leave it to a fed poster to not know the effectiveness of ammo.

all they know how to do is eat hot chip , glow on forums, and charge they phone. View attachment 4730818

 

[Zero Day Defense]

oogey boogey wants his penis back

 

[Soggy paper straw]

Fun fact: my designated sex towel is my old My Little Pony beach towel, and it feels like the cum always lands on Pinkie Pie's face.

Spoiler

From the Fanfiction Horrors thread https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fanfiction-horrors.7626/post-15363781

 

[Spud]

Using the term "Otokonoko" in the name of the company is an insult to traps and trap enjoyers, traps are just 2D men with very effeminate features that has nothing to do wth the absolute degeneracy of real world trannies, hormones and other deviants. Just another part of a subculture gets corrupted by this psychos.

I would get my computer privileges revoked for all the usual things: getting bad grades, messing with my brother/cousins, making the neighbor boy cry by dropkicking him into his own sandcastle on the playground

Suicide is unfathomably important to me

 

[Gentlebastard]

Transgender unpaid internet hall monitor hands typed this

You know what they say. You never get over your first love and trannies never get over the first fem outfit they ejaculated in from their mother's or grandmother's closet.

So - don't give up hope. Those alpacas needn't have died in vain.

Someone chokes on food all alone in their room, there's going to be paperwork.

You think you can escape a failson so easily? Once they troon out they're nigh unstoppable.

This ties into what was mentioned earlier about schizophrenic crusades

The Redditor has replaced God with government and they worship at the altar of the Troon.

"I don't have like, quotes memorized or anything, but it's been confirmed. It was bad."

They definitely have bitten off more than they can gum.

In other words, if a dozen retards agree with it, it's fine and dandy for an "encyclopedia" to knowingly leave utter lies in place.

No one is impressed and you are not an ebin le epic troll.

I read this whole, autistic diatribe and, well, I hate the burst your bubble, but...

Not even California would allow this level of dysfunction without stepping in.

Aw shit, my autism has struck once again.

Some of the dudes on there type like women though.

“Cremation” is on Kevin’s fetish list for some reason, so we know how they’d dispose of the body.

am pretty sure its regulated under european law so pulling something like the Axolot scam would be illegal

 

[Foxxo]

For smoother, cleaner sneeding

 

[internet friend]

idk if youre going to do something illegal youd beat john wayne gacey you wouldnt break into jail to diddle his butthole

 

[VargReallyDidNothingWrong]

Typical rhetoric of slave without any idea of national proud.

Your whoreland can do in Georgia nothing

This dog had rabbies. Do you play with such dogs or give them shoot?

 

[KiwiFuzz]

There's only one race: the human race.

Well, that and Italians.

Man, my psychosis has reached new levels, I thought I had been posting on the farms this whole time. If this is a Wendy's site again Imma be pissed.

Hello Feds! I hope you find all the information you could possibly need in this thread!

Mutilation is something that only happens without your consent. If you consent to something it isn't mutilation.

I'm not defending the practice. I personally do not and would not eat ass under most conceivable circumstances.

THAT'S MY HAWIIAN PUNCH DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH IT YOU FUCKING ALPACA OR YOU'RE JOINING THE REST! PENNY! STOP TRYING TO CHEW AND GET THIS THING OUT OF HERE!

Trap shooting will be an event at the first Kiwi Farms Olympics but it will be slightly different from the traditional version.

Fiery but mostly peaceful toilet protests

I told those fucks a thousand times at the antifa twitter that I don't riot on shabbos!

Incorrect: 1 gallon jug of Hawaiian Punch.

MOM STOP DRINKING AND DEFEND MY GENDER!

But you know what is an immediate mood upper? Meth.