random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[The Legend 27]

"> Play Harry Potter
>Black people in the castle
> Uninstall and refund
Seriously, it just kept taking me out of the game and I stopped enjoying it."
Alternatively, read this 4chan screenshot ( not mine ).

 

[Brain Power]

So if you have a suprapubertal catheter, can they pump fluid into it for the experience of pissing INFINITELY?

You guys are just jealous about the upgraded vagina with a built in shit deflector. Now he can continue to wipe back to front and all you can do is seethe.

I've learned so much about the urinary system from this thread. I have so much goddamn respect for that system now compared to never even thinking about it a year ago.

these stupid niggers, he said "in minecraft." how can you interpret that as a death threat

 

[Table Country]

I also like Dick.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

BROJOB BROJOB CHOO CHOO

"In five cases, she requested waxing of her scrotum."

Harvard. Harvard. That is all.

 

[vomitusdeux]

your wife is going to leave you and take the kids because you’re an incompetent cuck who sticks up for trannies on kfarms, the end.

But what's the "female" version of what testosterone (abuse) does to your junk? Apparently it's what is known as "smelly puss."

Stinkditches full of sand sounds like a fun time.

Trooned out because of two chin hairs?!
Detrooned because piss smell?!

How can a kid not be traumatized from this face alone? Looks pretty much like what you'd expect from a diaper fetishist

Nobody tell this retard that women should not ever douche. It's probably the only thing keeping his own crotch-zoo from eating him alive

no muslim ever tried to doxx me

Sorry, all we have is nigger cocks

You could duct tape a frankfurter to a chicks crotch, and these pooners would be all: “OMG! Looks soooo nice! How’s sensation?”

I think “Pee problems” to describe 4 months of constant UTIs is underselling it a bit. “URINARY DISASTER” is more like it.

*Leakage which seeps through the pants.*

*Milking piss for several minutes*

*Piss just kinda leaks downwards instead of a stream…*

But it gets worse:

ur heckin’ valid dude is back to… Sitting down to pee!

A little reminder that you can mock nature all you want, but nature will have the last word and she’s a based bitch.

NEW ROTDOG JUST DROPPED!

You’re LARPing as a Jew. Which shouldn’t come as a great surprise from someone who also LARPs as a woman.

So there are quite a few with Elephant Dick's lovecraftean tentacle phallotastrophe showing up

Furry big titty moth-diaper-Mohammed, 3 -2-1 GO!

What was it like riding the short bus to school? Did you feel special?

Don’t know about you, but I could live a long and happy life not knowing that post-op FTMs need to LITERALLY milk piss out of their rotdogs.

well i am. Women’s genitalia are neat and tidy, and then someone vandalises the pretty by stitching a giant bloodless slug onto them…

"Sorry I can't go to the gay bar with you tonight, my king, I have dialysis in the morning. Still worth it to not have to sit to pee!"

Dahmer didn't see POC as human beings, he saw them as sex toys and meat, what makes them think he'd be pro-trans?

But did she carve Josh Moon into her flesh?

(No, I was not molested.)

I don't watch the jew in the box

Nagoya is the 3rd largest city in Japan, so this is like if the governor of Illinois made the mayor of Chicago dress up as Spongebob

What's a spic nigger doing in Ireland?

Imagine how humiliating it would be to have a friend call a restaurant because you might be too fat to even sit at a table.

i do not sincerely wish physical harm with kitchen utensils on the gay retard puppet man with the gayest retardest pikmin video ever made, only that he is sued into oblivion by the cookie monster. Thank you.

When they stop me sneeding, I just look at my actual, real, tits and my actual, real vagina and think of them seething and dilating. TWNBAW.

Why would lovecraft write a "racemixing bad" story right after finding out he's welsh?

The "trust" issue is that you have a penis.

I've bought a fido2 u2f chip and I'll see if I can support this obscene level of protection for your kiwi farms shitposting account on the next iteratin.

"New this fall from the SJW network, it's "Hanging with "Mr".Pooner!"

"I haven't microwaved a diaper in a minute"

I didn't know Cartoon Aviators were required to be circumcized...

he is.... Tranny Soprano

If I lived in Oregon, however briefly, I'd probably want to kill myself too.

I for one am shocked that a methhead who microwaves used dumpster diapers would be a sick freak.

Instead of telling people to kill themselves, I will now tell them to go to Oregon.

Where the fuck is there AI audio of Pamperchu to begin with?

Let me give her they troonshine. Sounds insanely ghetto lol.

Did the Horsemen of the Munchie Pocalypse finally take her to that big, infected port in the sky?

 

[JustSomeDong]

This feels like one of those lawsuits so stupid you know you're in America.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

You ever need a priest and a bag of junk for your dog?

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

It could also be some loner hikikomori dying of a heart attack and the gook cartoon ai is just happily making weird nya nya noises.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

All I have to say is... Beware the Ides of Mulch

Edit:

You are schizophrenic. Take your meds and get off of the internet.
You are schizophrenic. Take your meds and get off of the internet.
You are schizophrenic. Take your meds and get off of the internet.
You are schizophrenic. Take your meds and get off of the internet.
You are schizophrenic. Take your meds and get off of the internet.
You are schizophrenic. Take your meds and get off of the internet.
You are schizophrenic. Take your meds and get off of the internet.

 

[Meat Target]

Oh boy. I can't wait to be mowed down by a bald tired hooptie driven by a Moorish sovereign citizen who doesn't consider "red" a legitimate color.

I mean, if you want to be part of global capatalisim, you play ball with the CIA or the CIA plays ball with your head.

 

[doodoocaca]

If we want to use your elephant analogy, libertarians and conservatives are regular people touching the leg or the side or whatever, but lefties are holding the dick and conclude that it must be a nigger because it's such a huge dick. And when the other people tell them it's not a nigger instead of listening they freak out and call them racist.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

That is not what you want you disingenuous piles of dog shit.

Tom is going to die in jail.

We both pointed out that bullshit last year.

The overall Sovereign Citizen attitude wouldn't mesh well with his savior complex.

"uhm i just like breeding lol"

Well, we have group homes for other kinds of retards. They should definitely have tard wranglers of some kind, though.

put your bets, how long till the male feminist tries to sexually harass someone?

I'm betting 10 bucks on a good 3 months

 

[Gentlebastard]

Providing links to abortion clinics is super serious business.

Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor

Sounds like something redditors would find wholesome

"Oh, what's on the bullshit bingo today? I guess I brag online about how I am going to piss myself to get attention!"

more importantly, how is this even a meme? theres no joke, no punchline, no reference, no one-liner, nothing, literally just "look! fags!"

replace the troon screeches with undead moans and you have great b-roll for a zombie apocalypse mockumentary

I just wanna chase ghosts bruh!

"Mom, I can't afford rent because I'm a full-time reddit moderator"
Get the fuck out

commenters note that the interview is awkwardly stilted, but of all possible scenarios between current year Joe Biden and a female impersonator, it’s the best of all possible outcomes

Ya know, if I didn't know better....I would say this is some sort of giant narcissistic, fetishistic larp.


Nah, couldn't be.

reminds me so much of a smelly anarchist manchild I once knew (he trooned out)

>vigilante groups to protect our neighborhoods
i can guarantee that the cops will immediately start cracking down extremely hard if they try that.
not on the vagrants of course, but on the vigilantes. can't have such mean things in our progressive utopia, no no no!

We need a glowie reacc on The Farms, frens.

if a redditor claims to have an abusive family, there is a 99% chance that the "abuse" is Mom refusing to cook tendies

 

[Kendall Motor Oil]

I'm not from Paraguay. I just know random stuff. I also know Governor-Dictator of Louisiana, U.S. Senator, and one-time populist presidential candidate before his assassination, Huey Long was well-liked by Paraguay because he sided with Paraguay during their war with Bolivia, which he claimed was orchestrated by Standard Oil operating through Bolivia.
Why do I know this? I don't know. Well, in this case, it's Hearts of Iron 4: Kaiserreich. But the greater "why" question of "why am spouting random facts on a hypnosis porn site relating to 19th and 20th Century figures" is still without answer.

 

[I'm Retarded?]

A careful reading of this text and diligent consideration on my part has revealed to me that there are in fact (as stated in rule 30) no girls on the internet, although whether the term 'girl' here is encompassing of 'women' I cannot say since I do not have the prerequisite degrees in biology, and women's studies to even begin to fathom what a woman is or is not.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I like her because she has a job. The whole thing about being poor around wealthy people, and even being friends with people with more money than you, was really relatable. It's a shame they market her primarily as the "black princess" instead of the "Working class princess".

Experience the magic™ of sending your loved ones to the afterlife, the Disney™ way! Only $100 per jar of ashes. $200 extra to have mickey pour the ashes.

My little cousin likes bananas.
She has a whole literal song and dance when presented with a banana because she really likes to eat them.
It is the cutest thing I have ever seen.

"Uh-oh, hope I don't get any of pappy's ashes in my dole whip!"

There's also the HBO-ificiation of most live-action shit. Everything has to be dark and gritty and ugly.
"It's realistic" they say, shitting out another season of Euphoria.
"It's mature and adult!" they cry, watching another rape scene.
"This is what real life is like!" they proclaim from their couches as another character is graphically disembowled.

slight OT but I wonder how many fans of Orange Bird are aware of who Anita Bryant is. Especially the very gay ones.

Yeah. For those that don't know, a lot of people in the Frozen fandom ship Elsa and Anna

Jesus christ. Despite being told by several people several times to stop sperging embarrassing shit about yourself, you keep on going.

I can't wait for your thread.

It's plausible deniability for when you really want to get railed by a leather daddy but in a family friendly way.

Thanks king of the bitchniggers.

Anyone remember her: Jaquie? Husband was a cop? On all sorts of drugs as well. 8/10 would probably bang if she gained 20lb and didn’t dress like a little girl. Had quite the following on YouTube.

straight adult men don't usually enjoy musicals. Nothing screams fag more than a dude singing Disney songs.

Is it bad that because of his wording I can't tell if this means he's purchased some sort of antique combat knife, or he's inserted it into someone's asshole?

The criteria for gaining a Pink Triangle must be awfully strict.

I was hoping for some good news about 3-headed rottweilers I could unleash upon nigger porch pirates.

sadly we do not have a thread for people getting tortured with weed whackers

He's probably hiding in a bush watching his dead girlfriend make out with another chick.

He sounds like he had a gay stroke

He's a terrible model for Betsey Johnson because her clothes are all about big personality and being cheerful. And yes, some of her runways had fags, but they have sparkle.

It started with him sperging about old computers, but the topic gradually shifted toward his pedophilic and zoosadist fantasies.

i truly don't understand tiktok. why would you record this and post it. what does it accomplish, how is this entertaining for people to watch.

I miss the old Blanchard, the jizzing-on-walls Blanchard

Yep and they used single-point harnesses which they had little control and spun around which makes the idea of them shooting FG-42s in the air metal as fuck. Just imagine hundreds of Nazi paratroopers spinning around spraying everything below them with 8mm.

Well i guess you could call it trolling but i just dont see the point at all.

If I was an alien race I would use it a case study to avoid humans at all costs.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Man some people won't even throw out chicken bones or parmesan rinds because you can still use them to make soup. Meanwhile this nigga just threw out a whole dick he was still using to have sex.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

Can we get back to Chinese industrial accidents and electrocutions in Shitdickistan?

Fuck this drama you niggers have going on

 

[Table Country]

It's only considered real a-log if it's from the Kiwifarms region

Why I have an eerie feeling then she might have some hidden skeletons in her closet?

Easy to believe when her own skeleton has been hidden under rolls of gunt fat and pancake makeup for years.

I think the moral of the story is that we need gender equality in serial murder and rape.

Get to it, women.

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

From my experience with naked aging fat men, he does not have enough free penis accessible to pull through the slit in a pair of briefs and then a trouser fly, much less over the top of sweat pants.