random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Dr. Butt]

Why can't trannies just ever stop lying, ever, for even one minute of their lives?

 

[PhoBingas]

It's why if you look at the sex offender map it looks as if it has a massive herpes outbreak.

 

[pikachudidnothingwrong]

I personally suck off Bill Gates.

You heard it here folks!

I'm sorry Slav, I know it's not really fair here but.. LOL

 

[Trombonista]

Stephen Lafleur's test for NMDA hypofunction (for schizophrenia) uses a flashlight and Pop Rocks

 

[Poonocchio]

"You must give us joy, or else we will kill ourselves. Do not ask about our joy rituals. If you ask about the joy rituals, you will be cast into the pit of shame. The children feel joy. Don't you see their joy? Do not question their joy. The joy beckons. Come closer."

 

[Mannibal]

If he wins, he can have the key to his chastity cage in the divorce settlement.

Unlike other fields, the parasociality isn't a bug, it's a feature.

It’s my head canon that someone shook a bag of meth to get Bam out of the woods.

the dude who made his initial fame by getting repeatedly struck on the balls is scarcely better than anyone.

Whether they're smaller or not is irrelevant. Fact is, one of the bitch's tits is cockeyed now.

Bitch I don’t have a scat fetish (I know this is something someone with a scat fetish would say)

View attachment 5113242

 

[Aunt Carol]

can we go one page without making up weird cosmic truisms about the nature of men and women

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Sidon has a female fish fiance now (sorry fish homos).

 

[umami's milk]

"...you may, if you choose, offer yourself to Ye..."

lol

 

[Gentlebastard]

Imagine an even gayer version of Jon Oliver showing up and locking himself in a room with you and your friends for an hour.

Thank you for your valuable testimony miss. It shows exactly what we all suspected: Trans kids really are the new vegan pets.

I don't think a tour in Uncle Augusto's chopper is worse than going through life as that guy.

I think the rule of thumb is that degenerate men molest their children, degenerate women use them for trendy social status.

Breaking News: Doctors have discovered this one simple trick to stop cancer, and it's making big Pharma mad. By depriving yourself of this one element you can kill 100% of the cancer cells in your body with a 0% chance of remission. Click below to find out!

It's fucking oxygen

He produced bootleg wine, and then committed public mischief by flipping over tables in a temple where good people were just trying to conduct honest business. He was the Son of God, King of Kings, but his A&N threads would be brutal.

Whoaaaaaa! Watch out foljs, we got us an edgy boi here! I repeat, edgy boi alert, this is not a drill. Do not cut your self on his razor sharp edges. Edgiest boi ever has appeared in the thread. Alert! Alert! Edgy boi alert!

 

[Return of the Freaker]

"How do you do, fellow straphanger? Enjoying your daily nigger abuse on this fine morning?"

 

[FBI Neighbor]

Mark Pellegrino's quote from the featured post is top random.txt material:

Patrick. You're not bright.

Let it be a reminder, for those who were here of that one time when a famous Hollywood actor openly admitted to reading 1,800 pages of shitposts to better troll a retard on Twitter.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Owning the haters calling you fat by changing the subject to you sucking cum out of the shitty asshole of a morbidly obese whore.
— @AnOminous

 

[Reotardo da Vinci]

If Goebbels was alive today you can't convince me he wouldn't have a secret catboy harem.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Edit: I just realized it could be interpreted that I am calling op a chomo but instead I am just calling him fat

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Also Filipinos are the niggers of the Asians and you are both filthy race traitor faggots.

Look you're a an internet forum user with an anime pfp, if this girl is on Tinder and agreed to go out with you I immediately don't trust her intentions.

 

[Billy Stinkwater]

Appreciate the gesture, but I wake up with a 'dub' over Ian everyday, because I'm not married to Anissa

 

[Aunt Carol]

Stop making me self conscious about buying preshaped meat circles

 

[William Tyndale]

There's also the more obvious but less talked about point that they're pedos.

"uh oh, scary Count Chocula Troon. Better use she/her out of my own need for safety."

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

This thread is full of people who would buy a used IUD to affirm their womaninity.