random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Dr. Butt]

I feel that not enough of the LGBTQ+ discourse focuses on the fact that our society is run by evil wizards.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

"Drag queen story hour! Cum on down (or go down on) the library where our queens will be reading "Dildo Adventure" to your kids! Featuring famous drag performers Penisin Myass, Cox Aplenty, Gloryhole Surprise and Yogurt Slurper. Fun for all ages!"

 

[Tablet County]

Trump has officially joined the likes of Nelson Mandela and Ghandi. All are revolutionary men of color persecuted by The Man.

Who are you that does not know your sticker history?

I like to dark bead twink sometimes.

It actually enhances my own enjoyment knowing that other people are so mind rotted by blackpill and culture war bullshit that they genuinely cannot enjoy anything.

 

[Gentlebastard]

This isn't being shit on enough for me.

I don't need to start developing irresistible coom cravings in my butthole.

I feel that not enough of the LGBTQ+ discourse focuses on the fact that our society is run by evil wizards.

"Dear Reddit, should I remove my own testicles with a rusty scalpel and a bottle of liquor?"

I like to call this LGBTQanon. I swear this is what happens when you see anything a character does as queer coded in a desperate attempt to make everything LGBTQ, and then get worked up when the creators dont make your shitty headcanon canon. "Oh a woman threatened to cut a guy's dick off and he got flustered by it? Clearly that proves he's trans!" These people should be barred from watching any shows, movies, etc because they're such an annoyance to any fandom they enter.

Of course he posted pictures of it himself. Silly me.

Is there any aspect of his existence he hasn’t posted online?

He did claim at one point that he replied to atalker childs with a nude photo of him holding his gun with a "rage erection"
Real tough guy shit, ya know?

A horny man with a banana up his arse, even without consent accidents, is much more likely to leave lots of offspring than the horniest of women with a map to her g-spot. Hence the importance of all our social constraints and inducements to mitigate physical power imbalances, the risks of sex and pregnancy, and all of that.

Or, you know, this could just be part of a banana’s cunning plan to enlist us in its reproductive strategy.

A banana wants to be eaten by birds so its seeds will be deposited in a blob of fertiliser somewhere far away. Being stuck up the bum of some hominid probably isn’t a very desirable end for it.

It's good to be the boss of reality.

Time for me to come clean. I really like the cisheteronormative patriarchal systems of oppression and all the programming involved. I'm a big fan. One might even say that I am monogamously and privately attracted to it, in a very wholesome, old-fashioned sense. It wouldn't be a lie to say that I fantasize about having a nuclear family with it. I want all of it to be rooted on a life of discipline. I just can't help thinking this way. I can't fucking pretend any longer, this is my filthy heart, now laid bare for mockery and ridicule

 

[Markass the Worst]

I will fight for what's right to my very last breath, and I know Celestia and Luna would be proud of me.

 

[Rotollo 2]

sorry for saying you had gay sex with warski

 

[Hitman One]

I must have under estimated foreskin autism.

Underestimating autism in the autistic thunderdome was your first mistake.

 

[Syzyg]

Lidl Drip in General Chat

I only like perky pink waxed balls that are perfectly symmetrical

Personally my ideal man has never looked at another woman and never will

womens sweat smells less bad than mens so it's understandable
unless the woman is Indian or Asian
they got rancid sweat
smells like curry and soy sauce

anyway don't have sex, it's disgusting and I would never
seek enlightenment in Christ instead

I would never admit if I ever sexed a man because that's shameful
embarrassing

I heard black women douche and use coochie perfumes and that fucks up your entire ph balance
yeah they got real issues with yeast infections

I am a prehistoric princess

ok I gtg watch 90 day fiance bye

 

[Tablet County]

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convince humanity that he wasn't a Discord user.

I think that the only thing that Andy can (and should) do to prove that he hasn't been doing coke lately is to do coke during the next stream.

How about you surveil my butthole you communist nigger.

I have no channel and I must stream.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I draw a penis and testicles over my ballot paper every single election.

 

[doodoocaca]

Let's argue about Josh's weight

 

[Oliver Onions]

Near the end he becomes winded from standing for too long and has to sit down.

 

[Pedophobe]

Are you saying I'm finally better than someone!? I finally have the moral high ground?

We'll give you STICKERS!

(in b4 people do an early life check on Wikipedia: you people are mentally ill)

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

I just don't want a Fujo handling my food.

 

[Pendulous Dong]

I promise you that you had at least one dude who would have committed a felony for you if meant a steady relationship.

 

[everybody in Portugal]

You can also sell the dog's cum to the cum cartel. You cannot sell literal tard cum to any cum cartels.

She looks like a fortune-telling pedophile

Queers for Palestine always get all the media attention, can we not spare a moment to consider Sodomites for Somalia?

I'm capable of tolerating overly clingy and obsessive people with daddy issues, but US black culture is something you simply can't overcome

Who'd of thought putting a rolled up tube of arm flesh on a mentally ill woman was a bad idea?

We must cast out all these butt demons

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

"Yeah I'm into BDSM: blocking, dilating, seething and malding."

 

[Rotollo 2]

your soldiers were gooning to the sounds of your allies pounding bussy next door and keeping boys chained to their beds

 

[Tablet County]

Is this guy saying genocide is a Jewish thing to do, and that it's a Christian spook to not commit genocide? Am I reading this correctly?

There's an entire subforum for you to bitch about this dumb shit no one cares about yet you choose this thread.

Are rage erections even a thing?

it's hard to find time in your coke snorting and K shooting schedule to show up to court.

 

[vomitusdeux]

Jesus, Mary and Joseph: is that bondage bear pooning out?

Actually I can say with confidence that 99% of us have never jacked off to a sewer gangbang of children at any time in our lives

Your definition of "normie" appears to be "person who doesn't make victims of child molestation cry because fuck her, amirite?"

Also why the hell do you have four Know Your Meme tabs open???

I think you need more meds my nigga.

That was the first girl and I didn't want cuts from her, I wanted cuts from a different woman.

This unprecedented hatred, violence, and vitriol only confirms that I am right. I will ALWAYS defend those being attacked, and I will ALWAYS protect those you deem inhuman. I will fight for what's right to my very last breath, and I know Celestia and Luna would be proud of me. I dream of a world with no violence, no hatred, peace and cooperation between those whom are the majority and those who are furries or bronies or transgenders. Damned be the consequences.

The only reason you call me a pedophile and a zoophile is because you see the worst in people. I understand. But I see the best in people, I dare each and every one of you to love one another instead of hate. Celestia/Luna bless you all.

He did once claim to have finger blasted a live mare.

Giving a remote tribe complete access to the 2024 Internet is like giving a chimpansee a machine gun.

We shot straight past muskets and gave them algorithmically-driven porn cannons.

Impressively articulate for somebody who insists he's an infant.

Please, if you have any courtesy at all, post your cuck behavior questions in Q&A. Thanks.

I don't know about you, but when I want to see who a guy looks like, I look at his face and not his dong.

It's good to see that some 16 year olds are still willing to step up and provide for the family, unlike my man Nick's useless little incel prude

Why is your dad such a pussy that he would send you to buy weed for him?

Watch this increase NVDIA's stock price. I wonder if correlates to the size of the breasts signed?

No, poop isn't chocolate no matter how similar they look.

So yeah, that's one thing I don't need to try again.

I hope the story is fake and gay. But yeah, whoop-dee-fucking-doo, shit tastes like shit. Whoda thunk it?

. I broke up with my girlfriend over a text that week and took this girl to my section 8 housing complex. I turned on the TV and we fucked from the beginning of Judge Judy to the end of Judge Judy.

Futas are basically hermaphrodites. Women that naturally have dicks.

im vagina

Trans-women are women.

Real women are menstruators with bonus holes.

Chill your front holes, chest feeders.
This is clearly progress, we all want this.

what if pee was called Unpoop

"I, too, have an incredible cock-thirst"

I wear my mask. Now you wear your tardbaby!

I'd rather talk about Portillo's than this sick fuck.

They don’t “cut your cock off,” you fucking transphobe bigot. They just take the girldiqique and turn it inside out to form the front hole