random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Ed Special]

Wonder if they’ll spam text ‘good morning sir’ when the second sun rises

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

It's true I just walked out of a gas station and a 7'5" Barron Trump walked up to me in gold trimmed Hugo Boss and slapped my freshly bought fried catfish out of my hand before swallowing a 4'8" latino man whole in front of me. Then he injected boiling milk into my eyes.

At this rate CC4 is going to take place behind a Wendys dumpster with a ticket price of 5$, a bus p***, and half a Baconator.

when they got rid of lunch ladies no one could expect they'd go into law

How does she manage to look like a truck driver and the hooker the trucker murdered at the same exact time?

Ethan would you dress up as an evil scary ghost nanny and float across the new York city skyline to steal a baby off a window ledge?

Ian is definitely at least in the top 5 people with the most Qurans destroyed in the state of California.

“Now that we have struck the iceberg, I am stepping down as Captain.”

it’s one thing to be fat but sounding fat is a bridge too far.

retards kept insisting that Islam was actually pro-feminism and that dressing up like a ninja ghost was actually a choice made by women and was in no way forced on them.

Hamas wants nothing to do with that slag. He bangs only the hottest sex trafficking victims

Not every disgenic pedophile provides milk.

 

[Pee Cola]

Greer may have a face for radio, but has a voice for print and the intellect for crayons.

 

[Tablet County]

"Huh? Wha? Bwah? What? Must have been the wind." - (Hasan, 3E 433, inside Vilverin)

This is like a house where the gamer boys are upstairs setting shit on fire and talking about shooting school tomorrow, while their mothers are gathered downstairs complaining about their husbands. That's Kiwifarms in a nutshell.

 

[Haloperidol]

My cat actually likes fireworks and I take him outside to watch them on new years because he is not a pussy ass faggot.

I am eagerly awaiting the Kamala Harris butthole reveal.

you guys fought to buy and sell men and that’s extremely gay.

 

[Mound Dweller]

Reality can’t touch their minds because they have no minds. It’s just NPC scripts running 25/8.

 

[The Ugly One]

“Yay, glitter is pretty”

 

[But Nuster]

Fucking fat faggot retard hope you get diabetes and FUCKING DIE you useless waste of space.

 

[AnOminous]

You are threadbanned for a week for disrespecting brussels sprouts.

 

[30+GameOvers]

Im flabbergasted, hes a sonichu medalion in human form.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

just a rotdog and a... rotcat?

florida actually does have penis inspection day tho

 

[stupid frog]

You will never remember the 2000s. You were born after 9/11. You don't remember Katrina. You don't remember Bush. You will never remember what life was like before widespread social media. You will never remember what life was like before smart phones.

 

[NerdShamer]

SAYING I HAVE A MICRO PEEN ETC, MAKING FUN OF ME BEING FAT -iS- SHAMING ME YOU FUCKING IDIOT. AND NOT ATTEMPTING TO STOP THE OTHERS IS ALSO BEING INCLUDED.

IT'S NOT RIGHT EVEN HERE. EVEN HERE HAS LIMITS.

IF YOU DON'T STOP THE ACTIONS THEY ARE DOING , YOU ARE NO BETTER.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Also almost all Valve fanboys have anime profile pictures or are Brazilians.

 

[30+GameOvers]

@All becomes gunt's name is highly prophetic. Every lolcow of the Sektur eventually becomes Ethan Ralph .

 

[Lapsus of the bepsus]

You ever had the pee mucus thing happen when shitting?

 

[30+GameOvers]

It’s like being born into a clan of vampires, but instead of blood and superpowers, they need obesity and retardation.

 

[Dr. Butt]

if I was an oil baron and saw her on a yacht I'd find somebody else to piss on who won't burn through my money and badmouth my tycoon friends right after. She'd probably upset the other hookers too.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Maybe if he stopped yelling into his iPhone like a pissed off mongoloid it would recognize what he is saying.

"SIRI, show *AHEM* me a pict*snort*ure of *wheeze* beetza with *cough* proni"
"here's a picture of beets and pierogi"
"this voice texting is horrible"

“Let’s” — nigga there’s no “us” here.

When Chris-Chan fucked his mom, my grown up normie daughter called me from across the country to ask me if I'd heard about it.

Never thought of “buddy” as a subtle way to insult a troon.

Thanks for the tip!

I would be mad for being called a bigot, not because it isn't true, but because it's not true enough.

The speed at which these civilians are adapting to patposting should terrify me and yet I am so fucking happy

Him taking a picture of an empty room with a song called "Friends" is very on point.

 

[30+GameOvers]

Imagine being Kayla in bed, trying to sleep or fuck your husband, and all you can hear is clips of Aaron and Melton alogging eachother.