random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Tablet County]

Am I raping anyone right now? I want to rape something. Do I add my charisma bonus to my rape score?

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Buying a house... is not like.. buying a banana.

 

[Spectate]

lock this thread till francis goes back onto the internet you niggas are the fucking worse

Niggas against joy and whimsical rhyming be like "WHY IS THERE FUCKING CHATTER"

 

[Tablet County]

Your MOM is a meat pastry! Dat pastry NIIICE!

This is why your life is already cooked.

Enjoy patisserie prison, stocker.

 

[POWER IN MISERY]

it's the type of autism that makes you a retard

He’s going to try and stuff his penis in the hole to rape himself isn’t he.

He'd suck a dick for a Camel and then quit smoking.

Put sponsorblock on yourself and get skipped over in God's youtube video.

Pools closed, due to rape

Previous experiments all show once a AI project has enough data and internet access it WILL become racist.

You'd just become the dog's fetch slut or tug bitch.

I thought anyone wearing a buttplug would welcome an "anal rail gun."

When you make ICP look like learned philosophers that's when you should know that you have fucked up.

 

[Clotso Coof]

Nobody will judge you for ordering the XXXL Jumbo Mickey Fuckslurp 9000 at Happy Dick's Ice Cream Parlor & Barbershoppe for the third day in a row at Disney.

she is throwing another bitch fit in Syria because Salad "is using the war as a convenient excuse" not to get her ice cream.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Who the fuck are you and why are you sharing feet pics?

 

[Potato Burrito]

Crucify filthy zippertits. Throw pooners into active volcanoes. Stir fry doods in a wok. Judo throw gaydens into a wood chipper.

 

[Skitarii]

My and my family were going to visit some family members in the countryside. It was me, my close family, zoey and turkey tom in the car.

It wasn't like when bearhammer had a dream where they went on a cute date together and then zoey drove him home and pegged him in the ass.

All of my boomer family were felting turkey tom in like semi broken engrish and calling him gay

she would say something dumb to me and i would have to awkwardly go "hahaha yeah".

Turkey tom then just fucking dies/teleports

She would then teleport somewhere and come back later.

I THINK both of them were supposed to be siblings since they're both the only Americans who can teleport there.

I vaguely remember talking to her about lain but i think i was too busy dunking on turkey tom

Also her phone kept going off to like a comical degree. I would ask her if she was taking her medication and she would constantly have to fuck with her phone clicking the "decline call" option for some reason.

"Soo.. *phone ringing* uhh *phone ringing* like I REA-*phone ringing*.. oh sorr-*phone ringing*"

thank you zooble for making a cameo appearance in my dream where my family just roasts the fuck out of turkey tom

 

[Gentlebastard]

This site's entire storefront is making my skin crawl; I feel an ominous sub-saharan aura emanating from it...

The only way this site could be any more obviously nigger-owned would be if it randomly played smoke_detector.wav

Maybe a human life is more valuable than a tasty animal like a cow or a chicken, but a cat? I'm sorry but I really don't think so.

A lot of the yaoiz is straight up vile. Take a peek at the fanfic horrors thread. The whimsical puppy crush type shit is just surface level. There are horrors beyond comprehension in there.

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

If it can make Abraham Lincoln frying an egg, and that doesn't mean Lincoln is overfit, then what if it can also make Bart Simpson frying an egg?

What exactly in your brain made you connect being fat with black woman?

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

So what's everyone's favourite yaoi then? I fucking love the one by that bbdububto guy of that fate Edmond Dantes guy that says his shithole is delicious.

I've always wanted someone to fist my urethra.

>Why? I thought we had all agreed that yaoi is more normal and socially acceptable than watching the most basic man fucks a woman porn?
"more socially acceptable" nigger where? In your gooncord server? Good fucking luck going up to some normgroid on the street and trying to debatebro her about whenever or not chink theypreg yuri loli gay vore mitsubishi manwha is actually more realistic and boymodecoded than albanian human traficking bdsm booktok rape hentai

 

[not william stenchever]

Rekieta is the gayest faggot who ever took a dick up the ass.

 

[Jesus Swept]

I come to the farms because I don’t have to hide my ’tism. Here, it roams freely. It’s my mental sperg sanctuary.

 

[sex haver]

We have layers upon layers of retard here folks. It's a retard wedding cake.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Hi everyone! Lots of thread movement since I last posted about how I want to grind Indian men into biofuel for my car. Unfortunately, they have not invented such a device since then. Does anyone know Elon Musk's number? I have a proposal.

The problem with that is that you are using far too much common sense.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

The logical end result of "evil autism" is my pfp

Why are Jap demographics turning into a large dong?

We are ontologically good, actually. Every other autist is evil.

You diddled your kid haven't you?

I am not a feminist.

I am simply always right and never wrong.

I'd be excited. We could share clothes!

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

One busted inside his wife, the other inside a Shrek fleshlight while sitting on a donkey dragon dildo while looking at loli hentai.

 

[Aunt Carol]

We really need a filter to change ‘joy’ and ‘euphoria’ into ‘boner.’

I suppose it might have been some sort of autoerotic shit and he died by accident. They didn’t have kids, thankfully.

Anyway, good times.

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

If I was in that universe and needed to hire a baker/clown/drag queen for my lesbian quinceañera or whatever the fuck, I'd much rather hire mine than the original artist's. She seems less likely to steal my soul.

He didn't reject her because she's ugly, he rejected her because he's not a furry. That's a good guy right there.

You want her to not eat meat and starve from lack of proper nutrients

Never trust a man who does not think that harnessing and bending nature to leave an immutable monument that will outlive you is anything other than cool as shit. They are either a skinwalker or the last remaining neanderthal.