random_text.txt

[Spud]

Fuck that nigger KERMIT JIZZ he makes me so mad

 

[Zero Day Defense]

Its well known K-On leads to being a Nazi, not a troon.

 

[Mariposa2.0 LTE]

Aaron Carter drowned after taking prescription pills and huffing compressed air. The Los Angeles County Medical Examiner ruled his death an accident. Carter was 34.

 

[Instant_Pot_User]

Why am I not surprised that MLP Furcadia would be the most islamic online environment for wayward genderspecial children to stumble into?

Holy congenital defects, Batman!

 

[Aunt Carol]

Please film yourself confronting the mailman in your pj's.

I never realised how much I enjoy the aesthetic of the dick helmet and veins until now.

 

[internet friend]

At that point, get a real job

May not be the funniest, but very applicable

 

[S.C.U.D.]

Source

 

[Gentlebastard]

I was deficient in most other areas physically and very under developed in terms of physical milestones. But spergery was built in from the start.

Phew! Guess I‘m off the hook for the upcoming mass-imprisonment for Felony Internet Insults.

We are guilty of the felony of truthfully pointing out his size, and the Hurt Feelings Squad of the FBI is going to put us in Federal Time Out any day now.

eventually you learn that 90% of people on the internet are fucking retards (myself often included)

>"your body is a shell for your genetic code"
>acts like a completely unfuckable retard
looks like your genes aren't going anywhere buddy

I'd love to live with an Indian brain for a day just to experience the world through their eyes. They must live with a constant childlike amazement at the simplest things.

To be fair, most people's last words are probably going to be something mundane or stupid.

Though having your last communication with the world being you liking that someone else thinks 'sandwich gud' is mundane and highly stupid...so also lol.

whatever the dumbest thing that you think they're doing is = probably the correct one.

is reddit retarded?

Yes. Any "X or Y?" question where this is either X or Y will always evaluate to "yes."

That is the most pathetic display of internet tough guy In possibly the history of the internet.

If they're over there, I call them thots (that ho over there). If they're right here, I call them thrh's (this ho right here). It's hard to pronounce but most women keep a safe distance from me so I don't have to use that one very often anyway.

Ban high capacity assault babies.

this is Kiwi Farms and on Kiwi Farms your shame follows you to the ends of the earth.

nobody has ever falsely called him fat

EXTRA! EXTRA! PAPA ELON REMOVES TWITTER’S DEADNAMING RULES! TROONS AND POONS ACTUALLY MOST AFFECTED!

$44 billion well spent

Didn't think the tranch could get even more depressing, and yet they persist

Also this take is one of those "He could be at least half right if he wasn't a fucking cunt" examples.

They hate him because he's an uppity nigger who doesn't go along with what his white saviors tell him to do.

Heck hire robots to do the job, we've got to start killing all humans somewhere and nonces sound like a great place to start.

Hey now, /antiwork got on a major news station, they got the exact type of fame they deserve.

So, should the next poll be for the location of Alpaca Mass Grave 2: Electric Boogaloo?

Biological sex is the new nigger

Biological sex is the new nigger, complete with use/slur distinction which will soon be eroded.

BTW, hardcore terfs say it with a hard X.

Fuck, if a bird crashes into my window I stop to think about what the universe is telling me I'm doing wrong and need to fix. Pat would post that it was a police bird, SWATT #34.

I thought Incels were the copemasters!

Putting child sex predators to death is trans genocide they say?

I think the implication that there's anything on Reddit worth paying for is the gayest implication I've ever heard

Bring back the asylums unironically.

every time I see him devour a huge hoagie or sandwich I picture the bread boxing with his pancreas and giving it a black eye like in an old cartoon.

The biggest giveaway that meme is faked is the paragraphs of text. Also no no-no words because even when faking a nazi meme a redditor is too scared to type forbidden terms.

He has "played clarinet in the school band" face.

Any of you fine individuals have the link to apply to the secret tranny killing police? I'm mostly curious about pay/benefits.

You could almost feel sorry for her if she wasn't such a hateable sack of cunt.

 

[Sprate Header]

He was harassing my sister on Facebook, straight called her a nigger in the DM's.

 

[Tablet County]

FUN FACT: Algebra is an ancient Arabic term that, roughly translated to English, becomes "Those of the Melanated Negro Persuasion Can't Do Basic Math lol".

 

[Lifeguard Hermit]

WolfeTone 11:11:39 AM
you literally couldn't make slaves out of decent people

 

[Zero Day Defense]

As part of the consent judgment that Bowser agreed to, Nintendo will be allowed to take "25-30%" of his gross monthly income.

 

[Blackhole]

Common sense wine aunt and plant mom ban NOW

And you are, and God forgive me for uttering this word, a Canadian. Nobody cares that you like government cock so far up your ass that semen leaks from your mouth, it's par for the course with your kind.

it is now controversial to say women dont have penises

"And if - which I do not for a moment believe - this island, or a large part of it, were subjugated and starving trooned out: our empire, beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Indian fleet, will carry on the struggle until, in God's good time, the NEW WORLD, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old."
t. some old drunk retard

What is a woman?

A miserable little pile of secrets?

The damage that widespread pornography has done to society cannot be understated.

Well, you're wrong and dumb. Sorry you had to hear it from me.

[User was warned for this post - reason: offensive neurodivergent r-word slur]

 

[Aunt Carol]

The unfortunate Reddit male with a sissy fetish doesn't realize that he is trying to follow a playbook that was established by and for domineering crossdressers with cluster-B personality disorders, and then he cannot understand why it doesn't work for him.

This thread made me have an appreciation for normal, healthy genitals much greater than I thought I'd ever have.

I thought maybe it was like, mega-autism + their diet maybe?

Every time I see him devour a huge hoagie or sandwich I picture the bread boxing with his pancreas and giving it a black eye like in an old cartoon.

I played trombone. Band teacher used to put the bass clarinet weirdos in the back row with us. It ruined our heavy brass groove when we got all stupid with the tuba and sousaphone guys. We were always the ones egging on the dumb-as-dirt percussion people to act out for our entertainment. The bass clarinet weirdos, when they graduated from the front row reeded-recorder and realized that was lame, fuckin' ruined it. Deal with it. Deal with my high school trauma of not being able to dip tobacco and dump it out the spit valve because fuckin' Brent the bass clarinet wuss would tell.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

I tend to phone post while at work so I'm barely looking at KF on my laptop. I still don't know how to use the fabled archive kek

Take your meds.

Sounds like a schizo, wonder what his user name is?

Well why doesn't she just make a twitter account using his name and say something rude about transfolx?

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

whats funny is that wokes are the only people that send you pdfs with too many words and mission statements for the project when at the end is always that can be summed up briefly as "we want to design a bunch of dwarves but they are also gay drag queens"

Nigga looks like he's ready for a KISS reunion.

I have to say I genuinely enjoy Squirreljak, that shit is indeed nuts nigga.

Whoa, what in the fresh hell is this degeneracy? You know what, this makes Momo-kun look like a proper Islamic woman by comparison, and that is an absolute tragedy.

Australians are weirdly obsessed with American gun laws for some reason. Visit the national subreddit for Australia? Several of the top most upvoted posts of all time are about how great their gun laws are. Remember Newgrounds? The most popular Australian animation on that site is about making fun of America's gun laws. Are you an Australian comedian? Then the main focus of your material will inevitably be about how absurd America's gun laws seem to you. It's this bizarre, nation-wide obsession with something that, quite frankly, is none of their fucking business, and I say that as someone who enjoys making fun of America myself. If Americans are obsessed with guns, then Australians are obsessed with how Americans are obsessed with guns.

I like cats. And I don't care for people who don't.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Better to just fall asleep in the arms of Gucci and look like a murder circus hobo.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

At least JNT's early years were actually solid Who. That was worth a couple diddled kids I guess

 

[KiwiFuzz]

It’s all very depressing, and full of seagulls who will slit your throat for a stray chip

It's gender gender gender gender troon troon 41% all day every fucking day.

Don't think of us as a hate forum, think of us as the loyal opposition.

On a matter of principle I simply will not oversee any death camps until upper management explicitly puts it in writing that yes, it's actually a death camp and gassing people to death is an official part of my job that they've asked me to do.

Hi Researchers! *waves*

Penises are complicated, not a series of tubes.

Leave this peaceful antipodean ground-nesting bird and hairy fruit enthusiast bulletin board alone.

That's called Sexual Selection, and demanding people pretend you smell good is anti-science rape culture.

"My pronouns are That/Nigga"

I wouldn't give pooners any of my sardines. They do not deserve it! They won't appreciate sardine power. Also, why does a werewolf keep flirting with me?

We must secure the existence of the Kiwi Bird and a future for the Kiwi chicks.

LOL Goring introduced coons to Europe so his Great White Hunters could hunt them and they bred out of control and are another "invasive species" the Europoors are freaking out over (that in my opinion is an improvement, coons are great animals).

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

"Xanax is unoverdosable" - Ethan Ralph, April 19, 2023